In need of a virtual hug

[exhausted 2015]

Just read your post Gill. I hope the trooper spirit kicked in last night and your dad is feeling stronger today ? I doubt you got much sleep but I hope you have found some more strength to help you through this spell . I am keeping you both in my thoughts. When you get a chance let us know how your dad is . My very best wishes and hugs to you both . Lou xx

Evening all,hope that all is OK with you all xx I've just popped on to give a short update,dad is a little better but has gone down bank since last weekend,he is very weak and frail but the ward have now said that he is medically fit for discharge back to the home but the home are refusing to take dad back saying that they had already asked for a re-assement before he went into hospital so now I'm waiting to see if he will go back to the same assessment hospital where he was before he moved to the care home, its such a mess,the hospital, the home and social services are arguing between them about the situation ,I'm just glad that poor dad does not have a clue what is going on.I cannot put into words how I'm feeling,let down,bewildered, heartbroken ...I could go on and on, I've now got to try to sort this mess out, I've got to go and empty dads room at the CH and also try to spend as many hours as I can at dads bedside xxx....sorry but I feel better now that I've a moan xxx thank you all for all your support xxx its nearly five months since I started this thread and its just been one thing after another, and am so thankful for you all
Goodnight all xxxx

 

[nae sporran]

Evening all,hope that all is OK with you all xx I've just popped on to give a short update,dad is a little better but has gone down bank since last weekend,he is very weak and frail but the ward have now said that he is medically fit for discharge back to the home but the home are refusing to take dad back saying that they had already asked for a re-assement before he went into hospital so now I'm waiting to see if he will go back to the same assessment hospital where he was before he moved to the care home, its such a mess,the hospital, the home and social services are arguing between them about the situation ,I'm just glad that poor dad does not have a clue what is going on.I cannot put into words how I'm feeling,let down,bewildered, heartbroken ...I could go on and on, I've now got to try to sort this mess out, I've got to go and empty dads room at the CH and also try to spend as many hours as I can at dads bedside xxx....sorry but I feel better now that I've a moan xxx thank you all for all your support xxx its nearly five months since I started this thread and its just been one thing after another, and am so thankful for you all
Goodnight all xxxx

Sorry Gill, I wish I had the words to help you and the right advice. I am just annoyed at the SW the CH and the hospital for putting you both through the wringer. Best wishes and hugs.

 

[Louby65]

I'm heartbroken for you Gill . It will feel that no one wants responsibility for your dad and I know how that feels . However , someone other than yourself MUST take responsibility for him . He is a human being with needs , regardless of how complex those needs are . They have to provide whatever care he needs . Please do not allow them to pressurise you into anything . They should be working in collaboration with you to achieve the best outcome for your dad . It's the least they can do for him . I get so upset looking round and seeing all the bureaucracy that goes on when dealing with elderly care . Keep your chin up Gill , stay strong and fight for your dad . Don't give up . I know you won't , even though you are tired . I think you live in a different part of the country from me but there are organisations that have been set up to monitor care of the elderly in hospital settings . I'm sure there will be similar all over the country . Contact them if you feel you are needing support . If I can help , let me know . Best wishes as always , Lou xx

 

[jknight]

Bless you, Gill
Holding your hand very tight xxx

 

[exhausted 2015]

Bless you, Gill
Holding your hand very tight xxx

Thanks all for your support, I knew I could depend on you,and thank you Lou for your advice, I've got my strong head on today and will fight for what's best for my dad
The team on the ward have been very good they are refusing to move dad from his side room ( as he is now effectively " bed blocking " ) I have overheard a couple of enquiries about bed availability on the ward but one of the nurses has assured me that he will not be moved even if she has to get into an argument about it .they say he is too frail to keep being moved around and want to try to keep him in the same place until an assessment bed becomes available
I have had to chuckle at dad today...the dietician came to see him and was chatting to him about his past he then asked him if he knew who the young lady was that was sitting with him ....to which he rolled his eyes and said of course I bloody do,its my daughter... To which I apologized to the dietician for dads language... He may be so weak at the moment and confused but at least he still knows me ...on Tuesday when we feared the worst my sister and brother were also at his bedside but all he managed to mutter was my name and I told him I was right besides him as I always will be xxx

 

[Louby65]

There is no better place to be Gill , but right beside him , as you have always been these last few months . Hope you and your dad get a good nights rest . Lou xx

 

[Shedrech]

Hi Gill
so glad there are staff in the hospital who understand and are supporting you and your dad
we're here for you too

sleep well

 

[nae sporran]

Gill, your dad's reply to the dietician made me smile. I don't know if you have any Carer Liaison at your dad's hospital, they were helpful last time OH was in. It's nice to know the nurses are on your side. All the best.

 

[hvml]

I'm thinking of you as always Gill. Sorry to hear that you are continuing to go through difficulties. Keep your spirits up.

Lots of love, Heidi xx

 

[jknight]

Gill, you are always in my thoughts. I hope you don't mind me posting about mum when you are having such a difficult time with your lovely dad.
Meals on wheels are now well established. Introduced the caring team, today (care starts on Wednesday) Mum was a bit overwhelmed but not upset (hopefully a good sign!)
I don't know what I would have done without you wonderful people! Hope you and yours are doing well.
Much love
Jenny xxx

 

[nae sporran]

Gill, you are always in my thoughts. I hope you don't mind me posting about mum when you are having such a difficult time with your lovely dad.
Meals on wheels are now well established. Introduced the caring team, today (care starts on Wednesday) Mum was a bit overwhelmed but not upset (hopefully a good sign!)
I don't know what I would have done without you wonderful people! Hope you and yours are doing well.
Much love
Jenny xxx

Good news Jenny, hope it all goes well on Wednesday and your mum accepts the carers when they arrive. Good luck, Rob

 

[nae sporran]

Gill, not seen you on for a while. Still thinking of you and your dad. Best wishes, Rob

 

[jknight]

Good news Jenny, hope it all goes well on Wednesday and your mum accepts the carers when they arrive. Good luck, Rob

Thanks Rob!

How are and your OH?

 

[CeliaW]

That's good to read Jenny. Hope it continues well x

 

[exhausted 2015]

Gill, you are always in my thoughts. I hope you don't mind me posting about mum when you are having such a difficult time with your lovely dad.
Meals on wheels are now well established. Introduced the caring team, today (care starts on Wednesday) Mum was a bit overwhelmed but not upset (hopefully a good sign!)
I don't know what I would have done without you wonderful people! Hope you and yours are doing well.
Much love
Jenny xxx

Hi Jenny, pleased to hear you are getting sorted with your mum and that she seems quite settled at the moment xxx
Hope that everyone else is OK xx and I was pleased to see your post Heidi thank you xx
I have no good news about dad, he is deteriorating , he's not eating just having sips of fluids,he is unable to. get out of bed so he is being nursed in bed , he is so thin now its so painful to watch him slip away, I'm trying to spend as much time as I can at the hospital with him and I'm trying to get him to eat just simple jelly but today he was really agitated when I was trying to feed him so I've only managed to get a couple of spoonfuls down him....I'm on pins every time the phone rings thinking it will be the hospital, I know that dreaded call to come to the hospital is going to come ...there is even talk now about not pushing the discharge to an assessment hospital
Will be thinking of you all xxxx

 

[Louby65]

Hi Gill , I'm so sorry to hear that your dad has deteriorated a bit further. It is so hard to watch and feel helpless . Does he still look out for you ? Even if he is sleeping he will know you are there. I will keep both of you in my thoughts . Keep in touch and let us know how he is doing but please remember to look after yourself too . Best wishes as always . Lou xx

 

[exhausted 2015]

Hi Gill , I'm so sorry to hear that your dad has deteriorated a bit further. It is so hard to watch and feel helpless . Does he still look out for you ? Even if he is sleeping he will know you are there. I will keep both of you in my thoughts . Keep in touch and let us know how he is doing but please remember to look after yourself too . Best wishes as always . Lou xx

Hi Lou, thanks yet again I need you all right now and am so grateful for you all xx
yes dad knows when I'm there ..he whispered to me today " to stay with him " it broke my heart when I had to leave, I've just spoken to the ward and they told me no change and that he was sleeping xxx

 

[Louby65]

Hi Jenny , rob , Heidi , Jackie and all who post here . I hope you are well?
Jenny , that is good about your mum. Fingers crossed its the start of better times. Hope she is keeping much better?
Rob , how are you and your OH . Have you been able to get out much ?
Heidi , how are you doing? Did you get a place on the training on Monday ?
Jackie , my sleep mist seems to be working well . I have been managing to sleep for more than 3 hours at a time if my mum not up during the night . The other night I managed 4.5 hrs !! Before I would waken most hours . Fingers crossed it continues to work .
Things reasonably okay with my mum and I . Both of us feeling better though my mums cough persists a bit. Bought her a new wheelchair yesterday . I had been hoping to go away for the weekend but didn't manage so bought mum a new chair instead with the money . It's much lighter and more comfortable and will hopefully help my back . It was getting sore lifting it in and out of the car . She is really pleased with it, so money well spent .
Wishing all of you my best wishes . Take care . Lou X


Lou xx

 

[Louby65]

We will be right there with you Gill , holding your hand . Please remember that . Xx

 

[nae sporran]

Morning Lou.
Nice to see your mum is doing well and you are getting some sleep.
WE are doing ok thanks, getting out quite a bit recently, mostly just to a cafe by the sea for a quick cuppa.

Gill, sorry your dad is not getting any better. It's lovely that he still knows you are there, but look after yourself. Best wishes to you both.