I have just heard that my offer on a bungalow in the UK has been successful and, now, I'm panicking! This will be an International relocation so not as straightforward as a move down the road and I wondered if anyone has any hints or tips to make this go as smoothly as possible. Hubby has mild/moderate AD and if I don't get him home soon I'm not sure what will happen to us, particularly in light of the up-coming referendum.
Moving - any hints or tips?
- Thread starter Badietta
- Start date
You are facing big choices. Do you know how long the actual completion of your bungalow will take? Searches can take weeks. I can see how important it is for you to make the move. I had to do that when my husband had dementia, plus many other illnesses. The move and his death took place in the same week. So all I would say, is, do your very best to give yourself time to devote your time primarily to him. Is there any way someone else can take on all the other aspects of the move? The legalities, the packing, the endless phone calls, everything. Our move was only down the road, but it was still to the unknown as far as my other half was concerned. So pacing yourself is paramount. Hope I'm not being negative. Wish you a happy and straightforward move. jo
Don't panic, you have time to plan everything down to the last detail, but it is going to be hard work.
Ideally, it would probably be least disruptive if you could move straight into the bungalow when you come. Would the vendors leave white goods/curtains/ wardrobes etc? Or is there someone in uk who could prepare the bungalow for you?
Another thought...Where are you coming from? Could you organise a moving company to bring your things over by road?
Aim for others to do all that kind of stuff, leaving you to fly home with suitcases as if you were going on holiday. You will need to focus on there being as little disruption as possible for your husband.
My mum's dementia was more advanced when I brought her back from Australia, but we packed 3 suitcases with clothes, photos and favourite ornaments etc on the morning of the flight and just came, leaving my sister to sort out her house. Mum was going into a care home and my brother drove us straight there from the airport.
I think you are wise to bring your husband home sooner than later. We should have done it sooner.
Ideally, it would probably be least disruptive if you could move straight into the bungalow when you come. Would the vendors leave white goods/curtains/ wardrobes etc? Or is there someone in uk who could prepare the bungalow for you?
Another thought...Where are you coming from? Could you organise a moving company to bring your things over by road?
Aim for others to do all that kind of stuff, leaving you to fly home with suitcases as if you were going on holiday. You will need to focus on there being as little disruption as possible for your husband.
My mum's dementia was more advanced when I brought her back from Australia, but we packed 3 suitcases with clothes, photos and favourite ornaments etc on the morning of the flight and just came, leaving my sister to sort out her house. Mum was going into a care home and my brother drove us straight there from the airport.
I think you are wise to bring your husband home sooner than later. We should have done it sooner.
I realise that I should have done it sooner too. We're moving from Europe so I'll drive us (and the dogs) over a 3/4 day period. Hubby can't cope with flying any more and completely lost it in the airport 18 months ago, but the 2 of us on the road, singing and laughing (and him being utterly obsessed with the Sat Nav) ought to make it manageable. As for what's going to be left in the bungalow - I know what the male vendor said was going to stay, but fear that this is a marital break-up, so what's left at the end of the day is anyone's guess. Luckily I have a friend locally who I can ask to go and check what's actually still there, and she's offered to 'make good' anything that's gone missing.
My OH has dementia and I've just been through a very stressful move with him from acreage into town. The hardest part was moving out of the old place, getting rid of stuff, putting up with his anger etc. What worked best was having people to take him out to lunch or whatever while some of us got into the shed and took many trailer-loads of junk to the tip, and set up in the new house. It is very stressful for someone with dementia never mind you, the carer, trying to organise it, so take help from anyone you can, and especially when it comes to having someone look after him for you during the move. Best of luck!
Doing exactly the same thing!
Hi Badietta
I am in the process of doing the exact same thing. I am sitting in my lounge surrounded by boxes which I have spent the last six weeks packing. My OH also has AD which has got worse over the last few months which made me realise we had to leave Europe and head back to the uk. We were very lucky to get a buyer quickly and have a mobile home in the uk that we have spent our summers in over the last three years so we have somewhere familiar to return to. What I will say is that it has been very unsettling for him having his home packed up around him and has alternatively expected to leave the next day, packing up his wash bag to go, or is asking why I am putting things in boxes! One day when he saw me packing up a box he asked me if it was nearly Christmas! That did make me smile. I have done all the sorting and arranging myself and nearly reached braking point last week, but very kind neighbours have rallied round to help me since.
Take as much help as you can get. My OH kept calling me from my packing over and over to ask the same questions about what we were doing about certain things which nearly made me scream. He also kept fretting about how we were going to manage to pack the house up, not realising I had already done most of it. He also forgets the house is sold. The stress to able bodied of selling a house and moving countries is megga so what it must be like to someone with AD is unimaginable. He needs lots of reassurance but I have lost my cool a few times which is sad as he cant help it. I know this is long winded but just wanted you to know that someone else here is going through the same and knows how you feel. I am driving back too, easier than flying and less unsettling for them.
Jean
Hi Badietta
I am in the process of doing the exact same thing. I am sitting in my lounge surrounded by boxes which I have spent the last six weeks packing. My OH also has AD which has got worse over the last few months which made me realise we had to leave Europe and head back to the uk. We were very lucky to get a buyer quickly and have a mobile home in the uk that we have spent our summers in over the last three years so we have somewhere familiar to return to. What I will say is that it has been very unsettling for him having his home packed up around him and has alternatively expected to leave the next day, packing up his wash bag to go, or is asking why I am putting things in boxes! One day when he saw me packing up a box he asked me if it was nearly Christmas! That did make me smile. I have done all the sorting and arranging myself and nearly reached braking point last week, but very kind neighbours have rallied round to help me since.
Take as much help as you can get. My OH kept calling me from my packing over and over to ask the same questions about what we were doing about certain things which nearly made me scream. He also kept fretting about how we were going to manage to pack the house up, not realising I had already done most of it. He also forgets the house is sold. The stress to able bodied of selling a house and moving countries is megga so what it must be like to someone with AD is unimaginable. He needs lots of reassurance but I have lost my cool a few times which is sad as he cant help it. I know this is long winded but just wanted you to know that someone else here is going through the same and knows how you feel. I am driving back too, easier than flying and less unsettling for them.
Jean
