Lost Mum To Alzheimers 2 yrs ago Now Dads Diagnosed With Dementia Please Help

Lottie40

Registered User
Nov 5, 2013
28
0
Hi,
I lost my dear Mum to Early Onset Alzheimers 2 yrs ago at 67 and now my Dear Dad has been diagnosed with Dementia .
Im not surprised at my Dads diagnosis as I was seeing signs /symptoms which were ringing alarm bells but I was still shocked hearing the word .
After Mum died I have been seeing signs of Dementia in Dad ,memory issues,confusion over things,fiddling with things almost obsessively and more .Initially the Dr's said it was grief and depression which Im sure was there too but I just knew there was more to it .Things like Dad thought I was at their wedding (I wasnt even born then) and Dad being convinced somebody else being buried with Mum (I think Dad was thinking of Young mum and older Mum as two different people.

Anyway Dads finally been diagnosed .What Im extremely worried about it that in just 3 weeks Dads symptoms have really accelerated .A few weeks back Dad could still use a knife and fork to feed himself still converse fairly well most of the time .But over the last couple of weeks we have to feed him as he just cant do it ,he is saying very little and looking so frail .
Im so worried about Dad and cant understand how things have accelerated so quickly ?
With Mum ,she had Early Onset Alz and sadly in the last few months of her life her decline was very fast but the first couple of years it was very gradual but this with Dad is really shocking .
My brother and I have only really just started grieving for Mum and still have a lot of disbelief that she has gone and now for Dad to have it too is so terribly sad : (

Please can anyone relate to this or help me understand whats happening with Dad for things to progress so quickly .

Thank you so much
Lottie x
 

Otiruz

Registered User
Nov 28, 2015
253
0
Kent
Hello Lottie40

I am so sorry to hear such heart-wrenching news regarding your father. Life can be so cruel and unfair. I wish I could respond to your question with regard to your dad's decline. I hope some of the other TP posters will be able to advise, but I have read many many posts over the past months which have managed to answer my own questions.

The two medical issues which recently affected my mum's decline were a UTI and a TIA, both seem to have opened a door to more health problems. My mother was out twice a day shopping on her own and had had a diagnosis of mixed dementia 2 months after my dad passed away. She had this for over 3 years but since February has declined in one way or another on a weekly basis.

I know the feeling of not having had time to grieve - I stepped into my dad's shoes and have worn them ever since. You and your brother will gain strength from each other and will continue to support and love your dad no matter what the disease brings. Just try to ensure you are not engulfed by the responsibility and make sure you give yourself some 'you' time too. Very best wishes.
 

CollegeGirl

Registered User
Jan 19, 2011
9,525
0
North East England
I'm so very sorry to hear this, Lottie. You and your brother must be devastated. I'm sure someone else will be along shortly who can help with your question but I couldn't pass by without saying something.

I would, however, maybe try to get your dad tested to see whether he has a UTI as I know this can cause symptoms to be more pronounced, and the increased confusion may subside again once he's treated.

Best wishes.
 

Lottie40

Registered User
Nov 5, 2013
28
0
Thank you all for your supportive words and care.I wanted to post on here a couple of weeks back but couldnt bring myself to do it as I knew it would feel even more real.A couple of weeks ago my Dads GP did some blood tests and everything came back ok.Last week Dad had a fall and his urine was tested and again it was ok but the GP has given him a course of antibiotics to cover anyway .When my brother spoke to the GP again last week about the acceleration of symptoms ,he said there could be a possibility of vascular dementia rather than Alzheimers .Im not sure how we would know other than dad having a brain scan which in his current state would be really traumatic for him .
Its just so hard seeing this happening .One of the things that Dad does which Mum used to do is constantly fiddling with things like the small objects on his table or his box of tissues ,which doesnt bother me at all I just remember Mum doing the same .
I dont know much about vascular dementia,are there other ways to determine it or is mostly by the 'differences' to Alzheimers ?

It really helps being able to share and 'talk ' with people who understand .

Im hoping that they may be able to give Dad some meds to slow the symptoms down a bit .Mum had a couple of different ones for her Alzheimers .Does anyone know,do those meds get given to folk with vascular dementia too ?

Thank you all so much
Love Lottie x
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,018
0
South coast
Hello Lottie.
Im sorry to hear that your dad now has dementia too. You are right, you can only really tell that its vascular dementia, rather than Alz, on a scan although its possible to make an "educated guess" from the presentation. Although things like aricept can slow down the progression od Alzheimers it doesnt work for vas dementia and Im afraid that there isnt anything specific foe vas dem.

If your dad likes fiddling with things have you tried a fiddle rug, twiddle muff, rummage box or those metal puzzles for adults? It might give him something that he would like and keep his fingers occupied.
 

Lottie40

Registered User
Nov 5, 2013
28
0
Thank you canary for your ideas of things for Dad .Ive put together a box of 'treasures' for him ,some bits and pieces from my son too which is nice for him to know he is helping his Papa .Dad seems to like the things especially the squashy stress buster pacman .
An occupational therapist is due to come and visit about Dads mobility which Im hoping will be helpful,he was walking until about a week ago but can know only stand for twenty seconds or so at a time .Yesterday Dad was looking so terribly frail its painful to see and of course brings all those memories of how Mum was to the fore which is hard .

I really appreciate the support from everyone here .

Thank you
Lottie x
 

vannesser

Registered User
Apr 4, 2016
436
0
help

Hi Lottie,
You don't say what type of dementia your Dad has. If it's Vascular Dementia, that does tend to go in 'steps' and the deterioration can be quite sudden, so this may be a possibility? If it is VD rather than Alzheimers, people can go along for years with only slight difficulties until a 'step' sends them further downwards. This is what happened with my own Mum. I am so sorry your Dad has now had this diagnosis. It must be so painful to bear after losing your Mum so recently, my heart goes out to you.

what sort of things coulde happen in the steps I under stand things are different in people but advice please
 

vannesser

Registered User
Apr 4, 2016
436
0
thank you

Hi Vannesser, I don't want to hijack Lottie's thread but in my own Mum's case a chest infection a year ago caused her to deteriorate literally overnight. She recovered from that infection and 2 more followed rapidly. From that point, from having mild cognitive impairment - forgetfulness, inability to resolve problems with finances, bills etc., but still being able to care for herself - wash, dress, cook a little etc. she went straight to not knowing where she was or even who she was at times. However once I showed her the shower and turned it on for her she could still wash herself and when clothes were put out for her, she could dress herself. But, she was not safe to be left alone. She once filled the electric kettle under the tap until it overflowed and then put it on to boil! She became a danger to herself. The GP said she was unable to live alone anymore. Her personality changed considerably too and although the chest infections went away, Mum has never regained the mental abilities she had before them and has needed full-time care from me since then. Also, a week ago, Mum had another 'episode' which may or may not have been a TIA (mini stroke). This last week has seen her deteriorate further and she is unable to wash or dress herself as of this week amongst other things. So there have been 2 clear 'steps' in the last year. Please feel free to PM if I can help.

thank you for this /its a think we don't no whot will happen but have to deal with it when it does thanks again