Anyone tried a live in carer?

[MissDiane]

Grasping at last straws really, but wondered if anyone has managed to find one and made it work?

How much does it cost, and how to go about finding one who can cater for two people with dementia. Is that too much to ask? THey have two spare bedrooms and a second bathroom all on the first floor unused.

Reason for asking is mum's is in a home and is very unhappy and dad is at home and is also very unhappy. Surely this day and age two people with dementia can stay together in their own home or a I dreaming?

Presumably I would approach social services in the first instance to talk about finances?

 

[Tin]

Sorry to say but in my opinion do not think you will find a residential carer who will look after 2 people with dementia. good live in carers are very rare and you would probably need two so they could 'cover' for each other. As far as I know, social services will not cover these costs and so your parents would need to be self funding, the costs are very high.

Don't want to burst your bubble at the beginning of your thread, my experience in this area has been from both sides as an agent and a client. Maybe I am just a pessimist and someone will come along very soon with a positive attitude/experience.

 

[Marnie63]

I'm going to try one for the first time later this year for mum when I go on holiday for a week. So far, the agency I used has been very impressive (they provide all the day carers) and it is they who are going to seek out a suitable live in carer. I have to pay for an extra two hours' respite a day for the carer by another carer, but am hoping it will all work out. I guess you can only try these things to see how they go. I appreciate this is not much help to you, but based on agency experience so far, I am hoping it will work.

As far as respite stays in care homes go, I think they are fine in theory, but in reality the rooms do not actually seem to exist around here as they only want to sell them to permanent residents!

 

[Nut]

My Mum has a live in carer

Hi, my brother and I arranged for a live in carer two and a half months ago. This was after she had stopped eating, was losing weight and still denying any problems existed at all. She had lost a stone in weight and the neighbour's had begun to call me to voice concerns. My Mum started making up all sorts of reasons for me to visit. I then did 1,000 miles of driving in four weeks as she lives 100 miles away & the journey takes over 2 1/2 hours as the roads are so bad. She cried each time I left her. It is not possible for her to live with me as I am still receiving treatment for cancer and am just not well enough. It was when she phoned on evening and almost whimpered and said she did not want to be in the house by herself that we bit the bullet and arranged for a carer privately. The agency managed a fantastic response time and got someone in in 5 days.
Pros. - peace of mind for my brother and I. Mum is eating, taking her medication and has company. She no longer phones all the time. She is in her own home and enjoying her garden still.
Cons - her pride has taken a battering, she does not like having someone around all the time and moans she does not like the carer. Major con is finding someone who will stay. First carer stayed just over two weeks and said she could not hack it. My brother and I felt oddly vindicated. We knew just how hard it would be. Second carer came for a week and then went on holiday. Third carer who covered the holiday was really lovely and Mum liked her but she could not stay. Second carer is back in place, not one to take the initiative and quite frankly rather lazy. She is supposed to clean but the house is dirty. We are now looking at using a different agency and not having someone sleep in overnight.
Another con is the cost- £924 per week, but about the same as a care home in many areas.
Also we find we are having to manage the carer. She gets supervision once a year and is supposed to have ongoing training. She is not dishonest but it is not quite right. A work in progress.
We have always seen this is temporary and respite care in essence for my brother and I while we work out what the hell to do next.
Good luck!

 

[Perfectdaughter]

Grasping at last straws really, but wondered if anyone has managed to find one and made it work?

How much does it cost, and how to go about finding one who can cater for two people with dementia. Is that too much to ask? THey have two spare bedrooms and a second bathroom all on the first floor unused.

Reason for asking is mum's is in a home and is very unhappy and dad is at home and is also very unhappy. Surely this day and age two people with dementia can stay together in their own home or a I dreaming?

Presumably I would approach social services in the first instance to talk about finances?

Yes but we are self financing.

My father (92 yrs old with mild going on middling dementia) has had live-in care for the past eight months - they are 2 carers who work turn and turn about, providing wrap around care for my father. I have to step in when one of them goes on holiday. It costs as much as care home fees but my father does not want to leave his house. It is a private arrangement and I was lucky enough to 'inherit' this team from a friend whose mother they cared for at home until she died.

While I was hunting desperately for help last summer my father's GP surgery rang me to let me know of another team of carers who were looking for work after their 'client' (a patient of the surgery) died. That might be a good avenue to explore?

I hope others will come on here with ideas for you.

 

[Missy]

We looked at 24 hour care at home for my (self funding) Aunt and she could have had it, but it would have cost 24 x £12 x 365 plus some hours of the day with two carers, ie around £110K a year. We went down the care home route.

 

[love.dad.but..]

After moving in with dad when mum died suddenly..he couldn't be left alone...for 10 months, we tried two live in care agencies - the first carer was ok but the company didn't monitor her properly, the second company and crucially their carer was shocking. They all say their carers have good dementia expertise and understanding but unless we were unlucky, the two I had didn't display either. Realised dad was too vulnerable on his own with a live in carer and very sadly riddled with guilt had to find a good dementia care home. I looked at 16 so even that wasn't easy. I am sure there are good live in carers who have a good understanding of dementia and display good practice but we didn't find them. Good luck though, we were desperate to keep dad in his own home but two years on and after a tricky 5 months of settling in having a lot of good staff around him is socially good for him as he declines.

 

[dottyd]

Friends did this for her mil. £800 a week u til she passed away.
That was for about 10 months.

The carer had to have two hours down time a day so my friend had to step in. Her mil lived next door.
Yes, my friend had to manage the carers who were mixed

One problem was a lovely intelligent Philippine carer . She wasn't tall. Mil thought she was a child. She couldn't pick up on the carers slightly different intonation so it didn't work.
Shame she was probably the best.

 

[fizzie]

i know a few people who have used live in carers and it has worked well, all of them have used agencies - there have been ups and downs but that's to be expected and a lot of care homes have huge ups and downs.