Hi everyone,
Grace, I must say I think the two tiered rack for heating two meals together is brilliant - if it is just an issue of time, then its a great solution. However, I suspect that the care agency may go all 'elf and safety and jobsworthy, which seems to be the way these days, and you'll have objections on insurance. That if they prepare the meal for Slugsta's Mum, then they are accepting she is in 'their charge' and there will be a lot of 'what if' this or that happens (Food makes her poorly, she spills something and gets burnt, she chokes . . . ) and they are not insured to take that responsibility. I know it sounds mad, but honestly, that is the type of attitude that seems to prevail these days
I think your letter is great Slugsta - shows you are aware of the issues and leaves them to suggest a way of dealing with some aspects of it. You never know - the nice and reasonable way its worded may just trigger a rare bout of common sense!
Slugsta, I think in future, should the need arise, then I'll be joining you in having a bee in my bonnet over lack of info when you are facing any sort of treatment - I'm really not impressed at all with the very little I was told about what would happen and what to expect - and the 'very little' I was told was pretty inaccurate and that has made me really cross
Got to the hospital for 7a.m., with OH in tow - the day before I had been told that I would be 'fine' coming by myself as I probably would be able to drive aqnd so on, right afterwards, as no anaesthetic was involved. Because I've had cortizone injections and I knew that they can leave you feeling rather brusied and sore, however, we had decided not to risk it - OH would be there to drive, just in case I was a 'bit sore' and couldn't.
It turned out that for minor orthapaedic ops and day treatments, they bring every person on the list for the day, at 7.15 am, no matter what time the procedure is scheduled for. And guess who was last on the list? Even though I was (the booking nurse told me) the only patient not scheduled for any sort of anaesthetic. Not at all keen on the likliehood of waiting on the ward, where I could get drinks but nothing to eat, for perhaps another 7 or 8 hours, I asked if I could leave and come back later? Nope. The consultants might 'shuffle' things round and it was more efficient for the ward to have us all there, all the time. OH had been asked to come to a meeting about his Mum at 2.30 (by which time we had assumed that I would long be home). I explained this, not exactly having been impressed by a rather off hand attitude, and I got a big sigh and a 'I'll have a word with the consultant'. To be fair, that worked and I was called through to a bed in the ward around 8.30 a.m. Given the info that they would take blood, separate out the 'healing properties' and inject them back, and that I could leave after the procedure as soon as I wanted, they took the blood and I was aksed to get changed into one of the awful hospital gowns - the nurse who had booked me in treated me to a lovely eye roll and another sigh when I explained that no - I hadn't brought a dressing gown, no one had told me I had to, and then aother sigh afterwards when she discovered I was wearing earrings and a necklace - I should have left them at home, she informed me. I explained that if I'd been told that in advance, I would have done. Being as I wasn't even leaving the ward, that the injection was being done there and then, this struck me as a little OTT - from everything that had been said to me, I wasn't expecting anything more dramatic than the cortizone jab, and that certainly hadn't taken all this palava. I wasn't overly happy about the large black arrow drawn on my leg either, but I said nothing.
OH was shown into the cubical as I was waiting and the consultant arrived 10 minutes later, as apparently the injection was ready, and OH was told he could stay as it 'wouldn't take long'. A slight fuss as the consultant announced that the needle provided with the kit was a bit 'on the blunt side' and requested an alternative be found, as otherwise it 'might hurt', but that was quickly sorted, a pack given to the consultant, and onto my side I rolled. The injection had to be given, the consultant explained into the 'tenderest' area of where the hip bursar is, in order for it to be effective, and he poked and pressed until he was sure that he had found the spot. I guenuinely did not expect the injection to be very much more uncomfortable than the poking and pressing - but I got one hell of a shock. I was warned to be ready for 'a slight prick' , did catch a brief glimpse of the shock on OH's face (lay on my side, I couldn't see the injection, but OH could) and then nearly went through the flipping roof as the injection went in
I'm usually fairly stoic and OK with injections and pain, but my God - that really, really hurt - burning, intense and very painful pressure, and I actually yelled
. It only took about a minute, but it left me in tears and feeling really nauseous. And feeling dreadfully sore - it felt like I'd been kicked by a rather large horse. I was told that I could get dressed when I wated, and leave after the physio had seen me. Physio? Eh?. 5 mins later, in came the physio and a casual 'just wondered if you needed crutches?'. I was still lay there, shaking, feeling sick and snot and tears everywhere and told him no, I just wanted to leave. he left and I started to get dressed - perhaps too hasty saying no to the crutches - trying to bear any weight on that leg was awful. Glad OH was there to help me. The last instruction was '
do everything that you would normally do - and that the pain will allow. It will ease over the next couple of days or so'. Its a good job OH is pretty big and strong - I wouldn't have made it to the car without him more or less taking my weight - and no way could I have driven at that point!
Back home, settled on sofa with leg up, wishing I had strongler pain relief to hand, though glad that the sick feeling had eased. At 2, OH headed off for this meeting about Mil - and thats when it all kicked off.
Back he came to announce that she was coming home the next day. What? We had been told that there would be a discharge meeting 5 - 7 days before she came home. She had only been back on the EMH ward for just over one full day - how had they finished all the assessments after the last med change, which they had previously told us would take a week? OH told me that they had suggested her coming home that very day and that he had only got it put off till the next because I'd had this damn injection. And he was due to start a run of three 13 hour shifts the day after that (today) which would fall over the wekend, and we hadn't been able to set up DC again, or anything.
I lost the plot. I was furious. Why the hell hadn't he said no, reminded them that this wasn't what they said would happen, explain properly that I was off my feet and was quite likely to be unable to physically care for her. Did he know what was happening with her meds? Did they say if they felt that she was any better in terms of behaviours? What if she was no different?. He hadn't thought to ask. Later, when things calmed down (a lot later) his stance was that he had been put on the spot, and caught off guard, he didn't know what to say. I phoned the hospital, then the CPN, then the ward again, getting more and more angry. It culminated in me telling the staff nurse that they had better sort out carers coming in because I was absolutely refusing to be responsible for her care, or to even be left alone in sole charge of her, not until I was over this damn pain. As I was shouting (and I was shouting, too) I could hear Mil in the background being told to 'calm down, now - don't worry - you are going home tomorrow', as Mil demanded repeatedly to be allowed to 'Go home'.
The staff nurse rather sniffly informed me that sorting out carers wasn't her responsibility - I told her it wasn't mine either, and put the phone down. The next few hours were not nice - I told OH that I would not be here if she came home before Monday, and that if he didn't sort it, I wouldn't be here afterwards either.
By mid morning yesterday, OH was able to tell me that she wouldn't be home till Monday. I have no idea what he said, who he spoke to, or how this was arranged. I absolutely refused to have anything to do with it - not my mess, and not in a fit state to sort it out, either. He is also to sort out DC, her meds and anything else that needs doing. I get that he was put on the spot, but for goodness sake - he was there and saw me having the injection (he later told me that the shocked look on hs face at the time was down to the needle being over 4 inches long, most of which went into my hip!) had seen the pain I was in aferwards, and as far as I am concerned, his first response should have been to consider me - an idiot could see that it was unlikely that I could solo with her, even if she behaved, for a few days at least.
I have also refused to visit again - I'll see her when she comes home, until then, I'm taking it easy as although better, I am still walking with a limp and still pretty uncomfortable. Its also because I am still so angry that should I go to the hospital, I really think I might just let fly - I can't say how disgusted I am. I believe 100% that this is all about bed shortages. All I got in response to 'have you actually changed anything? Is she better?' was a curt 'She is now on the optimum medication - we can't do anything else!'. That tells me nothing.
No idea what next. OH and I have talked a little (once I finished yelling at him
) and we are going to see how it goes over the next 3 - 4 weeks. The idea of permemnant care is on the table - though again, we were told at the hospital if we wanted to consider that route, it could take months as there are hardly any EMI nursing placements, and that plain EMI homes wouldn't be suitable for her.
Feeling very let down, cross about the lack of warning about the impact of this jab, furious at the hospital, only just friends with OH again - goodness knows what happens now
Take care everyone xxx