Operation count down

[Grannie G]

That`s terrible for you chick.

Please don`t think you`ve let John down. The system has let him down. I really don`t know what to say to you. I can only imagine how upset I`d be in the same position.

The only saving grace is the treatment John is getting. Cling on to that if you can. The better the treatment the sooner you will get him home.

 

[Izzy]

Oh chick I am so sorry that you're having such a difficult time. I can only echo Sylvia's words.

 

[chick1962]

That`s terrible for you chick.

Please don`t think you`ve let John down. The system has let him down. I really don`t know what to say to you. I can only imagine how upset I`d be in the same position.

The only saving grace is the treatment John is getting. Cling on to that if you can. The better the treatment the sooner you will get him home.

I just feel so bad . Had to swap trains in tunbridge there and in Sevenoaks on the way home as there is no direct line to Orpington . It is good though that John is getting brilliant treatment and they are all lovely on the ward. I don't think I have ever cried as much as I have these last 3 days. What a carer am I if I can't even manage to see my husband . Thank you for your kind words xxxx


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point

 

[Izzy]

Goodness chick you are the best of carers. None of this is your fault.

 

[lizzybean]

Please, please, please Chick, don't beat yourself up. NONE of this is your fault. You can't be with him 24/7 not out of any choice of yours but by constantly being lied to. It's not exactly a local hospital that you can nip to in 10 mins is it? A week or two probably feels like an awfully long time at the moment but it will soon pass. Then John will be home with you where he will flourish under your excellent care.

Chin up.

 

[grove]

So Sorry

Chick you had a awful journey too the Rehab Hospital & you are not able too stay with John. That is NOT your fault & you are still a loving , caring Wife even tho you are not able too visit John every day ( the system has let you down not having room for you at the Hospital & agree with Grannie G )


Pleased John is having excellent Rehab & he is not being sick very much

Sending lots of Love and Big Hugs

Thinking of you both

Love & Kind thoughts

Grove. X X x

 

[Casbow]

Morning all things didn't quite go to plan . After feeling much more reassured I had a phone call from London hospital to say John was on its way in ambulance to Orpington followed by a quick upset call from John saying he was tired but they packed all his stuff and transferred him. So got panicky and look out train times and made my way there not thinking and knowing that apparently a lot of train conductors are sick so they had cancelled a lot of trains !!! What a nightmare journey there and back . Won't tell you what time I got home . The ward is lovely and their are brilliant with John . He walked a bit and started physio straight away and the had managed to stop the sickness taking the codeine away and giving morphine in tablet form they explained they haven't got facility for me to stay but I can visit all day and don't have to stick to visiting times. However I am upset as trains are just too few and far between so I can't make the journey every day and I am racking my brain trying to find a way . Coaches only go to blue water and then it's train or bus again. It takes me 1 hour from here to nearest train station , 1.50 hour to Orpinghton and then another half an hour on the bus! That is if there is a train . Last night 3 trains were cancelled and by the time I got to local train station there were no busses home as it was too late . Ended up getting taxi which cost 25 pounds. I spend so much money already and don't know if I can afford to go every day and I feel I am letting John down and I am dog tired, upset and stressed wanting to be with him and don't know how. This has been such a terrible experience and I think I am such a let down johns got to stay at least a week and I don't know when I can see him again . How bad am I !!!!!


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point

I wish I could give you a hug. You are having the most awful time and its not your fault. Is it possible to get B&B for a few days. I know its more money but some of them like Premier Inn might do a special price. Or maybe just a small private B&B. Or am I being daft. Just a thought. If I lived anywhere near I would invite you to stay with us. Perhaps John would understand that you can only visit every other day. Not that it would make you happy to do that. So sorry for your situation.Love and hugs.xx

 

[Izzy]

I was wondering a about a small self catering place or a residential caravan in the area?

 

[Batsue]

So sorry to hear about your journey to visit John, it sounds as if they are looking after him well so try not to worry if you can't get there every day, you are a wonderful wife and carer xxx.

 

[nannylondon]

Chick I am so sorry to read your news the journey sounds awful I can't believe how much you have been messed around.
Please kick the guilt into touch you haven't let John down the system has. You are a fantastic carer for him and your love for him shines through your posts.
Love and hugs Nannylondon xxxxx

 

[disi]

Heike, I am so sorry to read about your journeys, its absolutely appalling. There is no way you have let John down, all through its the system that has. You are one of the best carers so don't ever think differently. You have to keep your strength up for when he comes home, please don't beat yourself up. Take care and lots of huge hugs and love to you both, Diana xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[truth24]

Dear Heike. How can you, of all people, think you are a terrible carer and letting John down. This is all beyond your control... you are tired and stressed and need some peace. Wish I lived in the area as I would gladly have you to stay and help in anyway I could. Just a thought. Do you have a voluntary ambulance car service in your area? If so, it might be worth contacting them. It might not be one of their usual journeys but you might find a sympathetic driver who would be prepared to do the journey and the cost would be a great deal less than a taxi. Sending love and hoping for a solution. Verity xxx

 

[maryw]

Is it worth phoning The Salvation Army in Orpington? I have nothing but praise for their work in the community. At the very least they may have some suggestions ...

Wellington Road
St Mary Cray
Orpington
BR5 4AQ
United Kingdom
Email address: st.mary.cray@salvationarmy.org.uk
Phone: 01689 834762

 

[Saffie]

Heike, you obviously can't go through that journey all the time so my thought was a B&B too. I've just taken the liberty of having a very quick look at what's available around that area and there are some for £27 a night upwards. That has to be better - and cheaper that the train. Just one night would mean 2 day visits even if you then went home after the second day. Hope I'm not speaking out of turn I'm concerned for you, you sound so stressed and very tired which is very understandable. xxx

 

[Chuggalug]

Morning all things didn't quite go to plan . After feeling much more reassured I had a phone call from London hospital to say John was on its way in ambulance to Orpington followed by a quick upset call from John saying he was tired but they packed all his stuff and transferred him. So got panicky and look out train times and made my way there not thinking and knowing that apparently a lot of train conductors are sick so they had cancelled a lot of trains !!! What a nightmare journey there and back . Won't tell you what time I got home . The ward is lovely and their are brilliant with John . He walked a bit and started physio straight away and the had managed to stop the sickness taking the codeine away and giving morphine in tablet form they explained they haven't got facility for me to stay but I can visit all day and don't have to stick to visiting times. However I am upset as trains are just too few and far between so I can't make the journey every day and I am racking my brain trying to find a way . Coaches only go to blue water and then it's train or bus again. It takes me 1 hour from here to nearest train station , 1.50 hour to Orpinghton and then another half an hour on the bus! That is if there is a train . Last night 3 trains were cancelled and by the time I got to local train station there were no busses home as it was too late . Ended up getting taxi which cost 25 pounds. I spend so much money already and don't know if I can afford to go every day and I feel I am letting John down and I am dog tired, upset and stressed wanting to be with him and don't know how. This has been such a terrible experience and I think I am such a let down johns got to stay at least a week and I don't know when I can see him again . How bad am I !!!!!


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point

Heike. Sit down and hold hands with me. Now listen: forget the let down nonsense. It's nonsense. You are pulling every single rabbit you have out of the hat. If people are being unhelpful to you as they have been to me, that is not your fault.

As much as people don't get this; money does not grow on trees. Money is all I'm wanted for by anyone. Anything to make a quick buck. I could tell you some stories, Gal. You simply cannot do it all. And, you are going to have to conserve some of your energy for when your John comes home.

He IS coming home, Heike.

I know you want to see him. That's yet another story I could tell you about what's been done to hubby and I. I just won't, yet. Yes, go as often as you can, or like. Yes, have rest days.

No. No no NO. You will NOT call yourself a let down, or I'll call Scarlett! She'll set you right. None of that, now. Just do the best you can. It's all you can do, and please, do not wear yourself out. John needs you when he comes home.

We all love the two of you, and we will be with you until you're both back home together. My love to you both, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[nae sporran]

What a palaver, after sounding quite promising too, Chick. Hope you managed to find a cheap B & B or an easier way to get there. As everyone else says, don't beat yourself up, you have already put in quite a shift. Best wishes to you and to John for his physiotherapy.

 

[esmeralda]

Lovely post, Jen. Heikelove, it's all been said. You are the most wonderful wife and carer. I'll just repeat it because I know it's hard to hear. You are exhausted through your heroic efforts to get the best for John and you must recover for both your sakes. Do what you can but if you're forced to stay at home for a day or two because of difficulties beyond your control then accept it as a gift and opportunity to both of you so that when he does come home your time together will be better. Sending love and prayers to you both.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[beverrino]

people say it much better than I can, but I agree with everyone. It must be a terribly frustrating time for you when all you want to do is be with John and help him in his recovery. The feelings of being let down when you keep being promised things must be hard to cope with.
But sounds like John is in a lovely place and doing really well, and that's the main thing.
I am sure you will find the way forward but please don't even think you have failed, you are wonderful and no one could have done more for John than you have.
sending hugs and love to you both xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Scarlett123]

If I lived in Kent, instead of Essex, I'd have you here like a shot, but you'd have to travel into London, and then out again, and it would probably take as long. But I agree with everything that others have said.

It's not you who's a bad carer - it's the system. Unfortunately, some mountains are just too high to climb, and you've got a dreadful one to conquer. It's good that you're satisfied with John's care, but I agree - perhaps a B & B would take the travel stress out of your day?

 

[Caz60]

Hi,
When you were waiting for the op it was an endurance test and stressful to say the least.Now you're in a position where the op is over ,your hubby is in a good place and being cared for .You have got the worst over with so which ever way you decide to b/b or travel it's all the last leg of your journey.Keep strong and get some rest it makes a lot of difference a good nights sleep.Hugsxxxxx