Morning all things didn't quite go to plan . After feeling much more reassured I had a phone call from London hospital to say John was on its way in ambulance to Orpington followed by a quick upset call from John saying he was tired but they packed all his stuff and transferred him. So got panicky and look out train times and made my way there not thinking and knowing that apparently a lot of train conductors are sick so they had cancelled a lot of trains !!! What a nightmare journey there and back . Won't tell you what time I got home . The ward is lovely and their are brilliant with John . He walked a bit and started physio straight away and the had managed to stop the sickness taking the codeine away and giving morphine in tablet form
they explained they haven't got facility for me to stay but I can visit all day and don't have to stick to visiting times. However I am upset as trains are just too few and far between so I can't make the journey every day and I am racking my brain trying to find a way . Coaches only go to blue water and then it's train or bus again. It takes me 1 hour from here to nearest train station , 1.50 hour to Orpinghton and then another half an hour on the bus! That is if there is a train . Last night 3 trains were cancelled and by the time I got to local train station there were no busses home as it was too late . Ended up getting taxi which cost 25 pounds. I spend so much money already and don't know if I can afford to go every day and I feel I am letting John down and I am dog tired, upset and stressed wanting to be with him and don't know how. This has been such a terrible experience and I think I am such a let down
johns got to stay at least a week and I don't know when I can see him again . How bad am I !!!!!
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Heike. Sit down and hold hands with me. Now listen: forget the let down nonsense. It's nonsense. You are pulling every single rabbit you have out of the hat. If people are being unhelpful to you as they have been to me, that is not your fault.
As much as people don't get this; money does not grow on trees. Money is all I'm wanted for by anyone. Anything to make a quick buck. I could tell you some stories, Gal. You simply cannot do it all. And, you are going to have to conserve some of your energy for when your John comes home.
He IS coming home, Heike.
I know you want to see him. That's yet another story I could tell you about what's been done to hubby and I. I just won't, yet. Yes, go as often as you can, or like. Yes, have rest days.
No. No no NO. You will NOT call yourself a let down, or I'll call Scarlett! She'll set you right. None of that, now. Just do the best you can. It's all you can do, and please, do not wear yourself out. John needs you when he comes home.
We all love the two of you, and we will be with you until you're both back home together. My love to you both, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx