Hi
I'm hoping someone can give me an idea as to how I get my mum to accept the need for carer and or sitters.
My mum is refusing to accept the need for help. We live together and I gave up work to care for her over a year ago, but I'm struggling as she's panicking if I go shopping or to see friends so its hard to leave her alone.
I cannot explain to mum she's being unfair, she'll never understand and has been selfish all her life anyway. I have spoken to the Alzheimers Society and to Social Services and they say whilst she has capacity, which she probably does she cannot be made to accept help so there's nothing they can do. This is making me ill. She's my mum I should love her, but I don't love or even like her anymore, it's ok to say it's the dementia, but this has been her personality all my life and the reason why she's fallen out with family and friends in the past meaning there's no one close to us willing to help.
Do I take a hard hearted approach and leave her alone and ignore the hysterical phone calls because she's alone for a few hours, or am I being unfair, should I stay close at hand and try to ride it out. Leaving her alone could mean she goes wandering if I ignore her calls on the other hand I will crack soon if I'm here 24/7. By the way I should say she's refused day care too. I do get 2 hours free when she goes to a pensioners group with her few remaining friends. Maybe that should be enough, but it's not.
I'm hoping someone can give me an idea as to how I get my mum to accept the need for carer and or sitters.
My mum is refusing to accept the need for help. We live together and I gave up work to care for her over a year ago, but I'm struggling as she's panicking if I go shopping or to see friends so its hard to leave her alone.
I cannot explain to mum she's being unfair, she'll never understand and has been selfish all her life anyway. I have spoken to the Alzheimers Society and to Social Services and they say whilst she has capacity, which she probably does she cannot be made to accept help so there's nothing they can do. This is making me ill. She's my mum I should love her, but I don't love or even like her anymore, it's ok to say it's the dementia, but this has been her personality all my life and the reason why she's fallen out with family and friends in the past meaning there's no one close to us willing to help.
Do I take a hard hearted approach and leave her alone and ignore the hysterical phone calls because she's alone for a few hours, or am I being unfair, should I stay close at hand and try to ride it out. Leaving her alone could mean she goes wandering if I ignore her calls on the other hand I will crack soon if I'm here 24/7. By the way I should say she's refused day care too. I do get 2 hours free when she goes to a pensioners group with her few remaining friends. Maybe that should be enough, but it's not.