In need of a virtual hug

[Louby65]

Hi Gill . I'm so sorry to hear your lovely dad isn't improving though i know you will strive to make sure he does his best . It's so hard watching them when they are unwell , you feel so helpless . I do hope he shows signs of improvement soon . Lou X

Hi Heidi , how did you get on today ? Lou X

I hope everyone else is doing well? Lou X

 

[nae sporran]

A quick visit to see how you got on yesterday Heidi. If you are on before the assessment Jenny, hope it goes well.

 

[jknight]

A quick visit to see how you got on yesterday Heidi. If you are on before the assessment Jenny, hope it goes well.

Thanks Rob! It was a busy day as it was the first day of meals on wheels as well! Mum is still poorly so I introduced the chap doing the assessment as 'the man the hospital sent to see if they can help you' and then spent the next hour on my own with him, as mum was in bed, allowing me to be open and honest about her needs. When mum asked what he wanted I said that he wanted to see if he could send someone in to help her with things 'until you are properly better'. Her response was 'I hope you said "no"'. I said you don't get much from the NHS so take everything on offer (she doesn't need to know that it will be paid for) if anyone has any ideas of better ways to introduce carers I would love to hear them!! I like the agency I have found as they don't wear uniforms and are encouraged to develop a relationship with the PWD (also recommended by DAS)

 

[jknight]

Good luck tomorrow Heidi, I'm sure it will be a breeze for you xx
Dad not good had yet another fall , he's not eating or drinking much so worried, sorry I haven't caught up with the posts but hope all is OK xxx ...yet another heartbreaking time xxx when/ if things settle with dad I will catch up xx take care all xxx

Dear Gill, hope Dad and you are OK. Holding your hand xxx

 

[Louby65]

Hi Jenny . At least you have made a start , with the assessment . I was lucky when I first introduced my mums carer to her . She has always been quite a happy , sociable soul , who loves company and going out . Both of which is provided in abundance by her wonderful carer . We first met her carer at a coffee shop , so it was on neutral ground the first time and then she came to the house the following day for a coffee and then each day came and stayed for a bit longer , until both were comfortable with each other and the carer knew where everything was and how mum liked things . My mums eyes light up at the mention of her carers name which is lovely . Im so pleased I could do that for my mum as I think she was quite lonely when I was at work . I had to spend quite a lot of my own money for two years but now have part funding from the council which has been good . I hope things work out for you and your mum. Let us know how you get on . Lou X

 

[nae sporran]

Thanks Rob! It was a busy day as it was the first day of meals on wheels as well! Mum is still poorly so I introduced the chap doing the assessment as 'the man the hospital sent to see if they can help you' and then spent the next hour on my own with him, as mum was in bed, allowing me to be open and honest about her needs. When mum asked what he wanted I said that he wanted to see if he could send someone in to help her with things 'until you are properly better'. Her response was 'I hope you said "no"'. I said you don't get much from the NHS so take everything on offer (she doesn't need to know that it will be paid for) if anyone has any ideas of better ways to introduce carers I would love to hear them!! I like the agency I have found as they don't wear uniforms and are encouraged to develop a relationship with the PWD (also recommended by DAS)

Sounds like a good start Jenny. Getting an agency whose workers have time to build a relationship with your mum is hard, but important. Sorry i still don't know too much about the next stage, that has worked by constant reminders and the best charm offensive I can muster as I go along. Good luck.

 

[exhausted 2015]

Will things ever get better

Dads not being too good since moving to the care home,2 falls in two weeks, not eating or drinking much and then today I've been told by the manager that they have asked for dad to be assessed again because they can't meet his needs, they are saying that he needs nursing emi care, before he went to an assessment bed I was told by his consultant that he needed nursing care but having spent six weeks at the assessment hospital they said it was just 24 hour residential care...so someone has got it wrong somewhere, I must admit I was surprised that they did not recommend nursing but bowed to their expertise ???..so poor dad has to be moved again and I am now going to have to search for the best home again for him
I have been informed today that dad has been showing some challenging behavior, his inability to sleep has been challenging for them,they are putting an extra carer on for overnight to help to cope with him, he has also been dropping his trousers in the lounge and opening his bowels,plus other issues,my poor dad would be mortified if he was aware of what he had done
This nightmare is never ending.... I just want him to be happy and settled somewhere, I'm sorely tempted to bring him home again but I think the endless nights of no sleep and cleaning through the night when he smears poo all over the bathroom would just about bring me to my knee's.... I'm so down again and have other family problems mounting up...whatever did I do to deserve all this xxx sorry for rambling on needed to get it off my chest xxx
Hope that everyone is OK I've not had chance to catch up and it looks like I'm going to be busy searching our area again for a nursing home,its such a pity as I really liked everything about the one I had chosen xxx

 

[Shedrech]

Evening Gill
was just off to bed - then I read your post
you poor dear - neither you nor your dad needed this
and neither of you have ever done anything to deserve it - it's just, sadly, one of those awful twists of fate
no fancy words
just mountains of sympathy
and I'm glad you can come here to write it all out
many hugs
Jackie

 

[Louby65]

Please don't be so hard on yourself Gill . Your dad should have been assessed properly before . Even reading your posts and not knowing your dad personally I would have thought it was nursing care he required . It is so sad when some PWD lose their inhibitions . As you so rightly say , your dad would have been mortified if he had been aware . Unfortunately they don't and that's what makes things so much worse , as this can become the new normal for them . I really hope you find a good care home soon , that will be just as nice and your dad settles soon . Keep us posted on how the both of you are doing . Remember to look after yourself too. Lou xx

 

[exhausted 2015]

Please don't be so hard on yourself Gill . Your dad should have been assessed properly before . Even reading your posts and not knowing your dad personally I would have thought it was nursing care he required . It is so sad when some PWD lose their inhibitions . As you so rightly say , your dad would have been mortified if he had been aware . Unfortunately they don't and that's what makes things so much worse , as this can become the new normal for them . I really hope you find a good care home soon , that will be just as nice and your dad settles soon . Keep us posted on how the both of you are doing . Remember to look after yourself too. Lou xx

Thank you dear friends ,there is always someone from our little group that gives me support and a shoulder to cry on ..I really don't know what I would do without you all,thank you xxx. got a meeting with sw on Monday at dads care home so will keep you posted, I will try to Bob on over the weekend to catch up and return the support that I always have xx

 

[nae sporran]

Thank you dear friends ,there is always someone from our little group that gives me support and a shoulder to cry on ..I really don't know what I would do without you all,thank you xxx. got a meeting with sw on Monday at dads care home so will keep you posted, I will try to Bob on over the weekend to catch up and return the support that I always have xx

Sending you and your dad the biggest sympathy and hugs I can find. Don't feel hard on yourself at all Gill. The assessment was wrong, not you. Very best of luck finding the right care for your dad and badgering the consultants for as much information as they can give you to help you. Hopefully the SW can help too.

 

[hvml]

Morning everyone. I hope things are going well with you all and the weather is making a difference

Gill - I am thinking of you and your Dad. It's so unfair that he is having such a difficult time. All I can say is that I hope the situation takes a turn for the better. It's so hard on both of you. (((Xx xx)))

As for me - the assessment went well, but I shall have to wait and see. Everyone there seemed to have experience. They were not offering places in elderly care, so I put down gynae and breast screening.

Have actually got a BUPA telephone interview down for Tuesday - the CH is at the end of our road and I went in with my CV so the receptionist gave me an application form which I sent off.

Out of the two, my preferred option would be BUPA as it would allow me to concentrate on elder care, which is what I feel passionate about.

I also have a job skills course coming up to refine my scatter gun technique

Lots of love to all. I felt the good vibes coming through the airwaves!! Heidi xx

 

[hvml]

I have just become fully aware of your Dad's situation Gill and can only imagine how stressed you must be. You have all my admiration for the way you just get up each day and deal with the next challenge. You are a truly strong person. Respect. Xx xx

 

[nae sporran]

Morning everyone. I hope things are going well with you all and the weather is making a difference

Gill - I am thinking of you and your Dad. It's so unfair that he is having such a difficult time. All I can say is that I hope the situation takes a turn for the better. It's so hard on both of you. (((Xx xx)))

As for me - the assessment went well, but I shall have to wait and see. Everyone there seemed to have experience. They were not offering places in elderly care, so I put down gynae and breast screening.

Have actually got a BUPA telephone interview down for Tuesday - the CH is at the end of our road and I went in with my CV so the receptionist gave me an application form which I sent off.

Out of the two, my preferred option would be BUPA as it would allow me to concentrate on elder care, which is what I feel passionate about.

I also have a job skills course coming up to refine my scatter gun technique

Lots of love to all. I felt the good vibes coming through the airwaves!! Heidi xx

The BUPA CH job sounds ideal, Heidi. You probably won't get anything you don't already know on the job skills course, but they are always useful just to help you focus.
Best of luck with the job hunting. Rob

 

[jknight]

Thank you dear friends ,there is always someone from our little group that gives me support and a shoulder to cry on ..I really don't know what I would do without you all,thank you xxx. got a meeting with sw on Monday at dads care home so will keep you posted, I will try to Bob on over the weekend to catch up and return the support that I always have xx

Gill,

I have been a bit preoccupied with a poorly mum so have been reading but not posting much. Always here for you. Feel free to PM me.

Much love J x

 

[exhausted 2015]

Gill,

I have been a bit preoccupied with a poorly mum so have been reading but not posting much. Always here for you. Feel free to PM me.

Much love J x

Thank you jenny, I hope that your mum is better soon xx
Lou, hope that you and mum are ok have you been out with your mum today ? Its been lovely here xx
Jackie, how are you and your dad doing, have you been to see him today ? Xx
Rob, thanks yet again for your support, I hope that oh is doing OK and of course hope that you are looking after yourself xx
Heidi, thanks so much for popping on with your kind words of support, I hope that you will find your ideal position soon,I have read about your options but not sure I have taken it in xxx
I have been to see dad as usual today and did get him to sit in the garden,its so lovely there,its such a shame that he has to move, he's not been so good today, he is suffering mentally as well as physically, its so painful to watch, I have now reached the point where I want his suffering to end, even through it will break my heart , I don't know why but he has taken to sitting slumped over and can't get him to raise his head...does anyone know why he is doing this ? , I have asked if he has any pain in his neck or shoulders but he says no but I have asked the Senior carer to give him regular paracetamol just in case, because it can't do any harm can it. and he is written up for them
I hope that everyone's weekend goes well and you all can get out and enjoy the weather
Goodnight all god bless xxxxx

 

[hvml]

Hi everyone.

Hope you have all had a good weekend. Rob - did you and oh get out in the nice weather ?

I'm getting somewhere with my job search now and it looks like if I am lucky I might have to make a choice between HCA ( in gynae and breast screening depts ) BUPA ( in a CH 5 minutes down the road) and Allied healthcare in my local area) Does anyone have any ideas?
I'd very much appreciate any input.

I hope everyone is well.

Gill I'm thinking of you. Xx xx

 

[nae sporran]

Evening Heidi. That's a lucky position to be in, or it could just be your high level of experience. If Allied Healthcare means caring for people at home I would recommend the Care Home. Many of the carers we see find the travelling between different houses to be hard work and often means you are rushed when you get to a client. One of OH's best carers left to take up a job in a care home to spend more time caring and less time rushing. Whatever you decide, best of luck. Rob

Evening Gill and Jenny.
Last time you were both struggling and you respective parents were poorly. Hope things have improved for you both, but if you need somewhere to let off steam we are still here.

We did enjoy a bit of sunshine at the weekend, thanks for asking Heidi. Back to rain, but the hour or so of sunshine, sea air and ice cream was so relaxing.

All the best everyone.

 

[jknight]

Hi all,

Sorry to have not been around for you (mum taking up all my energy) all but, yet again, I need your wise counsel. Mum has been in bed since a week last Thursday. Doctor came last Wednesday and prescribed more antibiotics for a UTI. Mum hasn't picked up at all. I have been going in to make her breakfast. Meals on wheels bring a hot lunch (that she is eating) and I have been going in, in the evening to make a sandwich for tea. So, her nutrition is 100% better but she is still so exhausted she can barely manage half an hour out of bed.
When she was in A&E I caught sight of her notes. Heart failure was mentioned - first I had heard of it. Nobody has ever mentioned it
I am now wondering if the extreme exhaustion is related to her heart rather than the UTI/dementia.
Mum is just waiting for me to make food and isn't drinking much unless I make it (I leave her water & fruit juice but it is never touched)
I am going to call the doctor, again, tomorrow. Just wondered if anyone has any advice?

Jenny

 

[Louby65]

Hello everyone , hope you are all well ?
Heidi , I am so pleased that you are another step nearer realising your potential in a caring profession . The gyn and breast feeding job may not provide you with the part of the caring experience that you wish . It would be a good job but if its your wish to providing care to elderly people , I would suggest the care home . Allied healthcare will provide a degree but it may be in measured time slots and caring should never be rushed , particularly with elderly people . I hope whatever you chose , it will bring you much fulfilment . Lou X
Gill , I hope your dad is a little bit better . Are you any closer finding him a more suitable care home . I hope you are looking after yourself . Lou X
Jenny , how are you doing ? How's your mum? I hope she is feeling better . Lou X
Jackie , how's life been treating you lately . I hope it's been a bit better for you . How's your dad , is he abje to get out of his room a bit more now that the weather has picked up. Lou X
Rob , I hope you and OH are doing ok? Have you been out much ?
Lou X
Cat64, how's your mum ? Did you manage to buy any more red jumpers for her ?
Hope everyone else who pops on our thread are doing ok . Best wishes to you all . Lou X