My darling son age 13 decided to spend the day with his nan he spent over 7 hrs with her, helped her when needed and generally had a nice day with her, I picked him up when carers were arriving......my mom pays for 1/2 hr. I said hi to her and was blanked she was glued to her iPhone, I said bye when I left. Again blanked, she was about 18 I parked round corner and watched house, she was literally in there less than 5 minutes, she didn't go to key safe and lock door either. I know my mom won't let them help but really........she has said in past they only stay 5 mins but wasn't sure. They gave even sent a male carer round when we have said and they have said they would send middle aged women.
Rip off....
- Thread starter Princess t
- Start date
Repot this to the agency and report them to Social Services....Make a song and dance on behalf of your Mum and all the others being ripped off.
I absolutely agree, phone social services first and tell them exactly what happened but don't bank on them actioning anything so go to the Manager and tell her that you will be watching and if it happens again you will report them straight to the Care Quality Commission. If your mum isn't allowing help and she is paying then you could cut the visits down to 15 minutes, just a thought. But please don't let them get away with this, there are too many agencies out their milking the money and not doing the job and leaving people in a dreadful state.
It doesn't matter who they ae through someone is charging and someone is being paid for something that isn't being delivered. If these young girls have little training in dementia care they are not going to be skilled in not allowing your Mum to send them on their way. There must be older carers they have on their books. I hope you manage t get something sorted.
Best wishes
Sue
Sorting this out.
They mention that travelling time is not included, as soon as they arrived said to my mother, "cannot stay long have to get to my next appointment", she stayed about 8min, this is costing £200 per month so am also not very happy. My mother then becomes anxious about them being late for the next person. She has had 18 individuals now, so on the basis that she is in denial anyway, they ask her what to do she said I don't need anything, she said, she asked me what they could do ?
We are trying to make a list overall, my mother has her way which does not make the job for these HH people any simpler. May be looking at a live in carer any suggestions or advice welcome.
Going to make a list plus the Care Plan itself suggests what should be done.
Take care, good luck John.
They mention that travelling time is not included, as soon as they arrived said to my mother, "cannot stay long have to get to my next appointment", she stayed about 8min, this is costing £200 per month so am also not very happy. My mother then becomes anxious about them being late for the next person. She has had 18 individuals now, so on the basis that she is in denial anyway, they ask her what to do she said I don't need anything, she said, she asked me what they could do ?
We are trying to make a list overall, my mother has her way which does not make the job for these HH people any simpler. May be looking at a live in carer any suggestions or advice welcome.
Going to make a list plus the Care Plan itself suggests what should be done.
Take care, good luck John.
It might be worth starting a thread about a live in carer and asking about the agencies that provide them, people can't say on here but they can private message you.
Regarding the carers you have at the moment - their attitude goes against all good practice and the Care Quality Commission would not be happy about it so it is worth reporting. I managed to find a local carer and paid her about half the rate of an agency - she was happy and I was very happy but she came on recommendation and again I am a great fan of carers cafes where you can find this kind of info.
It is completely wrong that many carers are given impossible timescales for appointments and not properly paid for travellng time. However, this is absolutely not your problem and even less your mum's. It's inexcusable and unprofessional to make your mum anxious about the next person on the list so it should not be mentioned to her by anyone least of all the carer. Complain (in writing) and insist in a written response. Ask how the agency itself monitors timekeeping; my mother's carers had to check in with their office from her home phone on arrival and again before they left so there was an accurate record as well as what they wrote in the daily log at her house.
If you pay for half an hour care time that's what you should get. (That's just as important if the NHS or LA are paying.) If your mum insists on them leaving early, that should also be clearly recorded and solutions discussed.
Bed
My mother is obsessed with having her bed made, plus socialisation is a secondary facet of daily care however limited. The good thing about someone going is the it does give me peace of mind that within that period someone has seen talked and engaged her in conversation. Her initial care plan now includes medication and signed off so that we have some evidence of her pain managing collective strategy.
This care is an ongoing development as her capacity continues to decline, she lives at home is very independent that denial that she needed help at all is on the wane, she does like that attention I can see plus hear her own frustration.
John.
My mother is obsessed with having her bed made, plus socialisation is a secondary facet of daily care however limited. The good thing about someone going is the it does give me peace of mind that within that period someone has seen talked and engaged her in conversation. Her initial care plan now includes medication and signed off so that we have some evidence of her pain managing collective strategy.
This care is an ongoing development as her capacity continues to decline, she lives at home is very independent that denial that she needed help at all is on the wane, she does like that attention I can see plus hear her own frustration.
John.
This has made me think. Whilst I totally agree with what you say it may not be the carer or anyone that I is making your Mum anxious- I lose touch with 'reality' sometimes worse than others, I know I lose touch with reality. I know others i.e. my home help has a reality that means she visits other people and not just me. I also have little sense of time. Put these two things together means I am often concerned that I am taking up too much of my HH's time - she NEVER makes me feel that way, it is part of my condition but it is also part of me to not want her to be delayed nor to hold anyone else up on my account, she always reassures me if I express concern about holding her up. I am very blessed to have such a good HH, worth her weight in gold. Training is the key. Anxiety part of the condition.
Best wishes
Sue
This has made me think. Whilst I totally agree with what you say it may not be the carer or anyone that I is making your Mum anxious- I lose touch with 'reality' sometimes worse than others, I know I lose touch with reality. I know others i.e. my home help has a reality that means she visits other people and not just me. I also have little sense of time. Put these two things together means I am often concerned that I am taking up too much of my HH's time - she NEVER makes me feel that way, it is part of my condition but it is also part of me to not want her to be delayed nor to hold anyone else up on my account, she always reassures me if I express concern about holding her up. I am very blessed to have such a good HH, worth her weight in gold. Training is the key. Anxiety part of the condition.
Best wishes
Sue
Very helpful thoughts Sue J, it's always good to have your insight. What I picked up on was that the carer had actually said to the OP's mum 'can't stay long have to get to next appointment' which surely would increase anxiety even if not the root cause. Thankfully your carer is reassuring which has got to be better.
You're quite right Pickles, I hadn't read back over the thread and should have
but your post made me think. Yes my HH is excellent but I had to get very with the agency in order to get her. She is a HH not a carer as such and the minimum time they come for is 1.5hrs unless special arrangements agreed. 30 minute appointments are no good for anyone with dementia and not easy for young inexperienced carers to juggle without excellent support and back up from good managers. 3 x one hour visits per week are better than 6 half hourly ones for carer and caree at times I think.Before we moved mum in with us, she lived alone and had 4 x carers visits daily. She too wouldn't let them do a thing but it was for our peace of mind, as you say, if she fell etc. Mums first call was not meant to be before 10.30am due to mum being awake a lot at night but I caught them red handed on many occasions, one in particular I went over on a Saturday morning early as mum had hair appointment. I arrived at 8.30am and noticed the carers had been in and written in the book that mum was ok, and nothing required. They wrote down the times as 9-9.30am!!!! I was furious and phoned the agency immediately to complain. There was a sink full of washing up they could've done but didn't, the bin needed emptying but that was left. The least they can do even if mum refuses their help is to sit and chat with her over a cup of tea. If they have half an hour, an hour or 3, they should be there for that time. This was one of many things we complained about. We too had the 18 years old strolling all dolled up like they were going clubbing, no conversation, mum getting all agitated because of the way they approached her, was a nightmare. I complained to the CQC and then got mum swapped to another agency who were better, and supplied older lady carers who had more life skills and at least could have a conversation with mum!! Don't put up with it, its an appalling state of affairs when this happens and I always think if we don't complain about it, it will happen to those who have no one to stand up for them.
One thing we found with my MIL is that she would send carers away etc and the care agency kept saying there wasn't anything they could do about it but as she gets more unwell she has accepted more help so I would say don't give up with them so the care will be in place when/if your mum accepts it.
