In need of a virtual hug

[Shedrech]

morning Rob
hope you and yours are fine and dandy today

Lou, I hope you had a good sleep - bane of the carer, not being able to turn off

Jenny, hope those tablets have worked for your mum. The not thinking to eat and drink is a worry - at one point I took to sitting with dad and ate/drank myself to give him someone to copy and to keep him sat at the table as he was prone to walk off and then wouldn't remember to come back - time consuming though (really didn't mean to pun)

Gill - I'm sorry to hear of your dad's state of mind - so worrying - no need to post or read about anyone else if that's what best for you - you KNOW we are here whenever you want to write, and often someone, as last night, is right there with you

Thanks for asking about dad - he seems to be fairly settled currently though I'd like to get him out of his room more, so looking forward to weather good enough to sit in the garden - I've something to sort out about his house sale (mentioned elsewhere), but I'm less anxious about that after thoughtful responses - isn't it amazing how you think, as a carer, that you have found some equilibrium, some 'contentment'; then something sideswipes you and causes you to realise how fragile your calm state of mind is - mustn't forget 'Expect the unexpected', not just from dad

so, Gill, you must feel as though the rug has been pulled from under your feet - just staying upright is a toil - we can't mend your heartbreak, but we each hold out a hand to steady you a little

as always, thinking of you all

 

[exhausted 2015]

Sorry to hear about your dad Gill. He is probably just tired after all the moving and hopefully a few days rest will get him going. I don't mean that to sound trite, just trying to be positive for you. Hope you had a good sleep after letting all he emotions and don't feel guilty about any of it.
All the best to you both as always, Rob.

Morning Lou, hope your sleep spray works for you. Using up a holiday to look after your mum is bound to be tiring. Is she getting any better? All the best.

Thank you rob bless you I know that you are trying to be positive xx I hope you and oh are OK xx sadly dad is no better today and had another fall last night but luckily he only has a few grazes I guess I am just going to have to wait and see how he goes xxx

 

[exhausted 2015]

morning Rob
hope you and yours are fine and dandy today

Lou, I hope you had a good sleep - bane of the carer, not being able to turn off

Jenny, hope those tablets have worked for your mum. The not thinking to eat and drink is a worry - at one point I took to sitting with dad and ate/drank myself to give him someone to copy and to keep him sat at the table as he was prone to walk off and then wouldn't remember to come back - time consuming though (really didn't mean to pun)

Gill - I'm sorry to hear of your dad's state of mind - so worrying - no need to post or read about anyone else if that's what best for you - you KNOW we are here whenever you want to write, and often someone, as last night, is right there with you

Thanks for asking about dad - he seems to be fairly settled currently though I'd like to get him out of his room more, so looking forward to weather good enough to sit in the garden - I've something to sort out about his house sale (mentioned elsewhere), but I'm less anxious about that after thoughtful responses - isn't it amazing how you think, as a carer, that you have found some equilibrium, some 'contentment'; then something sideswipes you and causes you to realise how fragile your calm state of mind is - mustn't forget 'Expect the unexpected', not just from dad

so, Gill, you must feel as though the rug has been pulled from under your feet - just staying upright is a toil - we can't mend your heartbreak, but we each hold out a hand to steady you a little

as always, thinking of you all

Oh Jackie, what lovely words ,you are always so good with putting things xx
I'm pleased that your dad is more settled and yes if dad makes it to the warm weather I too am looking forward to sitting in the garden with him,its so nice where the home is situated xx I hope that you get your problem sorted out about the sale of your dads house,we can all do without anymore problems, can't we xxxx

 

[hvml]

Thanks all for the good wishes. My assessment is on Thursday 5th May from 1.00pm - 3.00pm. Today I am going to take a walk to find the actual venue within the hospital and also do some literacy and numeracy practice on youtube. Once oh has gone to work, I'll turn the telly off and concentrate.

Have a great bank holiday weekend. I hope you will all put your feet up for half an hour or so.

Lots of love, Heidi xx

 

[nae sporran]

Morning all.

Will keep fingers crossed for you on Thurs Heidi. I always used to case the joint before job interviews too, especially after turning up to the wrong office for a job in Newcastle in 1996.

Also keeping fingers crossed for Jenny for your mum's assessment on Friday.

Jackie, I know what you mean about a fragile equilibrium and expecting the unexpected, but hopefully the forecast is right and you will get out in the garden with your dad later this week which always helps a little.

Sorry to hear abut your dads' fall Gill. Can only send you both strength to go get through it.

Hope you got some more sleep Lou and your spray is working.

Feeling a wee bit tired today, after an odd conversation with OH at 1 o'clock this morning which took her a bit of time to settle. She saw a picture of her grandson on the bedroom wall and kept trying to work out why he was in the bathroom with her. I know it's just one of these things that happens with dementia and not too serious, but the time it took to settle and reassure her was a little worrying.

All the best to everyone. Rob

 

[jknight]

Morning all.

Will keep fingers crossed for you on Thurs Heidi. I always used to case the joint before job interviews too, especially after turning up to the wrong office for a job in Newcastle in 1996.

Also keeping fingers crossed for Jenny for your mum's assessment on Friday.

Jackie, I know what you mean about a fragile equilibrium and expecting the unexpected, but hopefully the forecast is right and you will get out in the garden with your dad later this week which always helps a little.

Sorry to hear abut your dads' fall Gill. Can only send you both strength to go get through it.

Hope you got some more sleep Lou and your spray is working.

Feeling a wee bit tired today, after an odd conversation with OH at 1 o'clock this morning which took her a bit of time to settle. She saw a picture of her grandson on the bedroom wall and kept trying to work out why he was in the bathroom with her. I know it's just one of these things that happens with dementia and not too serious, but the time it took to settle and reassure her was a little worrying.

All the best to everyone. Rob

Thanks Rob! Mum still isn't eating or drinking much (two Weetabix with full fat milk and a chicken roll with three mugs of tea today) We arrived just before 08.30 and found the porch door, which we locked last night, unlocked and the front door open. Mum was fast asleep. Our suspicion is that she got up, after we left, opened and unlocked the doors (in case anyone wants to come in)
Hope you and OH have had a rest, today!
Lou, how are you and Mum?
Gill, sorry about Dad's fall. How are you both?
Jackie, the forecast in the South is good for the next few days! Hope you and your dad have good weather and can enjoy the garden!
Heidi, I will have my fingers AND toes crossed and will be sending you good vibes!! Just remember, they will be lucky to have you!!!
Hope everyone else is OK? I have 'dementia care brain' today and just can't remember, off the top of my head, what is happening with everybody (is it just me that worries this condition is hereditary?)
As ever, you are all in my thoughts
Jenny xxxxx

 

[Louby65]

Good evening everyone . I hope our are all doing as well as you can ?

Hi Jenny , that's a bit of a worry for you that your mum is leaving the door open . I see she managed to eat a bit , which is a step in the right direction . Would she drink any of these high protein / carbohydrate drinks . They are milky and come in lots of flavours . I hope you are looking after yourself and getting some time with the rest of your family .
Hi rob , I hope you sleep better tonight and that your OH sleeps through the night . I've had many a bizarre conversation with my mum over the years during the night . She can't talk very well so most of it doesn't make any sense , but I do try to understand , but it is so tiring .
Heidi , best of luck for your assessment , I will be keeping everything crossed for you . Let us know how you get in on .
Gill , how are you and your dad ? Im sorry to hear he had a fall . How is he doing ? My mum has had many falls over the years but thankfully has been fine apart from a few bruises . She did break her wrist one time . My sister had been up visiting and didn't notice her wrist was misshapen ! I came home from work and couldn't believe that she had just carried on doing her washing and carrying the clothes upstairs and never complained ! Made of strong stuff that generation ! I hope your dad feels better soon,
Hi Jackie , how's your dad ? Is the weather any better where you live . I hope it is , so your dear dad can perhaps get out to enjoy it .
Best wishes to everyone , I hope you and your families are doing well . My mum is slowly getting over her chest infection . Had a toilet accident tonight which has wiped the both of us out . I'm still trying to get over this ear infection which has left me with no energy , so having to attend to my mum has wiped me out I'm afraid . I don't think I will need my sleep spray tonight!! It did work last night though . Used some on my mums pillow too , she slept for 9 hours right through ! Don't know if it was just coincidence but I'm just so grateful anyway !
Take care everyone , speak soon . Lou xx

 

[patsy56]

after being away from here for a while I need to come back.
Mother is now double incontinent (we think) she has pads been given by the SS. We are trying to get her into a home, before she loses her mind completely (her words).
OH I think is getting LBD, he is choking on slightest thing, losing weight, he has a bad cough (and won't see doc).
I think I shyed away from here as I was frightened, scared, but I need to come home.
I think I am getting carers breakdown but have aslo been diagnosed with severe arthritis.

 

[Louby65]

Oh patsy56, you have definitely got a lot to deal with . Does your mum stay with you ? Please contact social services sooner rather than later as you are certainly in need of immediate support . I am sending you a great big hug which I hope will help you see that this forum and the wonderful people who use it , will help you as much as we can . Please keep posting . Best wishes , Lou ({}) X

 

[jknight]

Oh patsy56, you have definitely got a lot to deal with . Does your mum stay with you ? Please contact social services sooner rather than later as you are certainly in need of immediate support . I am sending you a great big hug which I hope will help you see that this forum and the wonderful people who use it , will help you as much as we can . Please keep posting . Best wishes , Lou ({}) X

Hi Patsy,
This is a wonderfully supportive community!
Sending you hugs as well
xxx

 

[cat64]

Hello .just to say Im still hovering and reading about you lovely lot even though not commenting x

Whoever asked about mum and her red jumpers its now a mission to find more!!...and we think they were from BHS.....shes took the label out!! Also she needs more bras but will she let us measure her ..nope!!... the challenges are still there even though she is in a care home =[

She also keeps feeling very sick, wondering if she has had just too much rich food ..after weeks of refusing stuff at home now she's getting better nutrition its rebelling against her!

Took dad to see her [they were divorced 20 years ago but mum responds to him best, I suppose 32 years of marriage doesn't just go away!!]] ....she hadn't seen him for 7 weeks as he had had an operation and just gazed and gazed at him blankly then broke into a smile like it just suddenly came to her who it was. It was all rather emotional.


Patsy....come back and rant as much as you like we are all here to listen.

Gill....may your Dad settle soon in his new home and his fall wasnt too serious?

Lou .ears can be such painful things ...get well soon.

Jenny ..all the things you are listing are what we had to consider as well as many more when we made our decision that she needed a home. They are so scarey arent they....mum used to leave the back door open all the time whenever she went out ,
She also refused dieticians,nutrient drinks, meals on wheels, and kind carers nibbles.she was fading away.

And everyone else battling this evil disease I send a mega hug, Alison x

 

[jknight]

Hello .just to say Im still hovering and reading about you lovely lot even though not commenting x

Whoever asked about mum and her red jumpers its now a mission to find more!!...and we think they were from BHS.....shes took the label out!! Also she needs more bras but will she let us measure her ..nope!!... the challenges are still there even though she is in a care home =[

She also keeps feeling very sick, wondering if she has had just too much rich food ..after weeks of refusing stuff at home now she's getting better nutrition its rebelling against her!

Took dad to see her [they were divorced 20 years ago but mum responds to him best, I suppose 32 years of marriage doesn't just go away!!]] ....she hadn't seen him for 7 weeks as he had had an operation and just gazed and gazed at him blankly then broke into a smile like it just suddenly came to her who it was. It was all rather emotional.


Patsy....come back and rant as much as you like we are all here to listen.

Gill....may your Dad settle soon in his new home and his fall wasnt too serious?

Lou .ears can be such painful things ...get well soon.

Jenny ..all the things you are listing are what we had to consider as well as many more when we made our decision that she needed a home. They are so scarey arent they....mum used to leave the back door open all the time whenever she went out ,
She also refused dieticians,nutrient drinks, meals on wheels, and kind carers nibbles.she was fading away.

And everyone else battling this evil disease I send a mega hug, Alison x

Thanks Alison!
I can't even think about a home for mum. Will keep doing my best to keep her in her own home for as long as possible. I just want her to eat! I have set up meals on wheels (starting Friday) and have a good care agency coming in to assess her for their befriending/care services
Jenny

 

[Louby65]

Thank you Alison , my ear infection is still bothering me . Hopefully with the antibiotics it will heal soon . Thank you for asking . That's good that you are trying to locate more red jumpers . Even in my mums day centre she always makes a beeline for the chair with the red cushion . The care assistants always keep it for her , which is kind of them. That was so lovely for your mum to recognise your dad despite their long separation . I hope your mum feels better soon . Best wishes , Lou X

 

[Louby65]

Hi Jenny . Good luck with the befriending / care service assessment . I hope your mum likes it . It would be so good if she did and peace of mind for you . Hope you are okay ? I know you are worried about your mum but hopefully she will be more settled soon and eat better too . Best wishes , Lou X

 

[hvml]

Hi all. What a beautiful day.

Gill - I'm sorry to read that Dad is having a rough time. As Rob said - maybe it is a question of taking time to settle down. You have both been through an awful lot recently and with your Dad's non sleeping too, he must be so so tired. If he can at least rest and regain his strength after hospital, he might feel better in himself. Xx

I'm indoors getting ready for the assessment tomorrow. Thanks for all your good wishes. It means such a lot to have you all sending positive vibes. I will be carried thru on the wings of kindness

Lots of love, Heidi xx

 

[Louby65]

Good luck tomorrow Heidi . I'm sure you will do well . Let us know how you get on . Lou xx

 

[jknight]

Hi Jenny . Good luck with the befriending / care service assessment . I hope your mum likes it . It would be so good if she did and peace of mind for you . Hope you are okay ? I know you are worried about your mum but hopefully she will be more settled soon and eat better too . Best wishes , Lou X

Thanks Lou! I feel bad that I am so tired when I'm not dealing with anything like the things you lovely people are!
Hope you and your wee mum are feeling better.

 

[jknight]

Heidi,

Will be thinking about you and sending good vibes your way, tomorrow!!!

 

[exhausted 2015]

Heidi,

Will be thinking about you and sending good vibes your way, tomorrow!!!

Good luck tomorrow Heidi, I'm sure it will be a breeze for you xx
Dad not good had yet another fall , he's not eating or drinking much so worried, sorry I haven't caught up with the posts but hope all is OK xxx ...yet another heartbreaking time xxx when/ if things settle with dad I will catch up xx take care all xxx

 

[nae sporran]

Good luck tomorrow Heidi, I'm sure it will be a breeze for you xx
Dad not good had yet another fall , he's not eating or drinking much so worried, sorry I haven't caught up with the posts but hope all is OK xxx ...yet another heartbreaking time xxx when/ if things settle with dad I will catch up xx take care all xxx

Sorry Gill, your poor dad never seems to get over one problem when life hits him with another. Sending you as much strength as I can and hope he gets some kind of nutrition soon. All the very best to you both.