Mm won't dress for bed

[Dayperson]

Mum's now started refusing to change into bed clothes for bed and wears the same clothes 24/7. This has given her a rash on her chest.

Last night dad argued with her to change but she refused and came downstairs then went back up again. She claims her pyjamas are smelly (they are clean but maybe a bit kept smelling from now being used) and claims she can't wear her nightie because it came from her mum.

I've washed out the nightie and will do the pyjamas. Should I make up a story that her mum (she is dead) told her to wear the nightie?

Any suggestions on what we can do?

 

[Onlyme]

I would tell her her Mum sent her a night just like her own as she knew she liked it.

Another thought is to try to remember what she wore about 20 years ago and replicate it.she may have seen herself in the mirror wearing the Granny nightie and thought her reflection was her Mum.

 

[Shedrech]

Hi Dayperson
from a different slant - maybe at times accidentally spill something down her so she has to accept a change of clothes - then if she won't get changed for bed, at least she has clean day clothes every couple of days or so
good idea from Onlyme about replicating a style of clothes - maybe even replicate the clothes she won't take off, so she's not so aware they are clean - or buy some new identical outfits and get rid of the old much worn clothing when you do manage to get her to change
I wonder about the smell - maybe the clean clothes smell too clean, of the conditioner used, maybe try a non-perfumed one, or spray them in a perfume she used to like, or one from the past - maybe because the clean clothes don't smell of her, she doesn't accept them as hers - who knows really ....
Does she undress/dress herself? She may have forgotten the process and it's easier to say she won't than let you know she doesn't know how .... and is her bedroom warm, it may feel very unpleasant to take off warm, comfy clothes in a cold room

 

[keegan2]

Other half often refuses to put pyjamas at night. I don't push him anymore let him sleep in his clothes. In the morning whilst he is on the toilet and still groggy I take all his clothes off and put him straight in shower. Clean clothes on for the rest of day then start all over again. Hope we can continue with this routine for a while but as we all know tomorrow is another day with new obstacles. ....

 

[Dayperson]

Thanks for the replies. I do change her T-Shirt at least once a week while I'm treating her skin infection, saying that she needs to take the T-Shirt off because the room is too warm, then putting a new one back on.

I'm not sure about whether she can actually dress herself, my bedroom is at the other end of the house and I leave it up to my dad to take care of that. I do think she puts on that she can't do things and she has said in the past that she wants to give up.

 

[Toddleo]

Not an unusual problem I don't think. My mum went for about a year living in the the same day clothes and undies! and she wore these to bed too. Seriously! she ended up with scabies. Only now that she has her meds and is more stable and manageable, can I change her clothes like a "normal person!" It sounds hideous now, but there was nothing that we could do to change her mind

 

[Dayperson]

Toddleo, I know mum doesn't have scabies but it's odd that a change of medication made a difference. Did you just let her wear her clothes 24/7?

 

[Toddleo]

Toddleo, I know mum doesn't have scabies but it's odd that a change of medication made a difference. Did you just let her wear her clothes 24/7?

hi Dayperson, the medication just made mum more compliant with the personal care. Prior to her meds/hospital admission/delerium she was impossible to deal with, re food/hygiene/bathing/clothes. After this, and her current meds (anti psychosis/anxiety/depression ) we can now sort her out more efficiently (not perfectly, but more efficiently!) and yes, she literally did not change for a whole year! and we burned the clothes when they were removed. Lol seems ridiculous now.

 

[Dayperson]

Well it's three months later, she won't change for bed (dad tells me) and I haven't been washing out any of her nighties.

We saw the dermatologist who said the infection had gone but gave her some stuff to prevent it. I have been putting it on but it has started to come back again.

What should I do, continue with it even though her wearing loads of clothes in bed is making the problem worse? My dad tells me to just leave her because she won't help herself get over it by not overheating and whenever you confront her about it she is in denial at not wearing bed clothes.

 

[Pear trees]

My mum can dress herself still, but will not actually change her clothes unless someone prompts her, and would go to bed in same clothes if not made to.
She has a shower and full change of clothes 2/3 times a week depending on her mood, if she is being difficult we sometimes 'spill' tea all down her and use bedbath wipes to clean up the 'spill' and change her clothes.

 

[Aisling]

Well it's three months later, she won't change for bed (dad tells me) and I haven't been washing out any of her nighties.

We saw the dermatologist who said the infection had gone but gave her some stuff to prevent it. I have been putting it on but it has started to come back again.

What should I do, continue with it even though her wearing loads of clothes in bed is making the problem worse? My dad tells me to just leave her because she won't help herself get over it by not overheating and whenever you confront her about it she is in denial at not wearing bed clothes.

Hi Dayperson,
I have same problem. OH won't change for bed. Coat and shoes taken off if I m lucky. Carer gives him bath twice a week so full change then. He helps me to change bed linen. He likes talc so I have caldesene talc which he uses. Hope this helps.

Aisling xx

 

[softcentre22]

Well it's three months later, she won't change for bed (dad tells me) and I haven't been washing out any of her nighties.

We saw the dermatologist who said the infection had gone but gave her some stuff to prevent it. I have been putting it on but it has started to come back again.

What should I do, continue with it even though her wearing loads of clothes in bed is making the problem worse? My dad tells me to just leave her because she won't help herself get over it by not overheating and whenever you confront her about it she is in denial at not wearing bed clothes.

My dad with severe dementia refuses change of clothes any time. We used to keep trying at intervals and occasionaly succeed and he has been going to bed in track suit which he wears all the time. This has not caused any problems for us as we change his clothes regularlyI eoulf not worry about her going to sleep in dsy clothes as oong as these are changed regularly.Now My father is at a stage where he gets violent when we have to change clothing even when soiled. We then have to forcibly remove his clothing while he is trying to throw punches and biting and being abusive at the same time. It takes two of us and still it is very hard doing it.

 

[fizzie]

My Mum did that for a while and I think she was afraid that she was losing her grip. We got over it by laying out the clothes on the bed in the right order to put them on and chatting gently to her about anything but changing clothes as she did it (with some help) so that she was distracted through the whole process. It didn't last too long and I don't suppose this will work for everyone but it did for us.