Oh Anne, I am sure there is a CH that would be able to help your hubby. Robert didn't sleep for months when he was here and then in the CH and they always managed him and said it was their job to do so. They are trained for just this sort of behaviour at night. As for the nurse not seeing you because it was her lunch time I think is atrocious especially under your circumstances. Sending you a huge ((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))) and lots of love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Begging to GO HOME.
- Thread starter Rageddy Anne
- Start date
Oh Anne, I am sure there is a CH that would be able to help your hubby. Robert didn't sleep for months when he was here and then in the CH and they always managed him and said it was their job to do so. They are trained for just this sort of behaviour at night. As for the nurse not seeing you because it was her lunch time I think is atrocious especially under your circumstances. Sending you a huge ((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))) and lots of love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Anne
My dad was up and down all night before his sleeping tablet, raiding fridge , making toast, wanting to go out, now he sleeps through.
Nurse and her lunch break tsk. Very helpful not.
My dad is diabetic so I understand that part, mum checks his sugars morning and night and is on tabs for it.
There are homes to cope Anne, don't get into your head that there arnt.
Hubby needs calming down.
You need respite initially and looking at homes, dementia homes.
We are with you Anne xxxx
My dad was up and down all night before his sleeping tablet, raiding fridge , making toast, wanting to go out, now he sleeps through.
Nurse and her lunch break tsk. Very helpful not.
My dad is diabetic so I understand that part, mum checks his sugars morning and night and is on tabs for it.
There are homes to cope Anne, don't get into your head that there arnt.
Hubby needs calming down.
You need respite initially and looking at homes, dementia homes.
We are with you Anne xxxx
What does a Community Psychiatric Nurse actually do? I emailed ours on Friday, mega Sundowning having started early. No response. (Everyone's favourite GP here added us on at the end of his shift, and gave us a prescription which we obtained at our late night pharmacy. Husband slept all night, first time for ages.)
Still no word from CPN. I was told she would monitor my husband, but she never makes contact.
Our privately arranged respite friend needs to give up the four hours on a Friday for a few weeks. I'll miss that, as I can't make phone calls while caring for my husband because he is constantly at my side, and he views any phone conversation relating to his Dementia as disloyalty on my part. The strange thing is he will speak of it to friends, even making a joke of it, but I suppose he believes that as long as I'm there to help him, we can manage. He pays lip service to how tired I must be, but demands the impossible moments later.
Tomorrow I'll have my 24 hours of freedom, but won't be able to fit in all that needs to be done.
And no reply from the Care Home that insisted on two weeks respite. I suspect they don't really want anyone so demanding.
Still no word from CPN. I was told she would monitor my husband, but she never makes contact.
Our privately arranged respite friend needs to give up the four hours on a Friday for a few weeks. I'll miss that, as I can't make phone calls while caring for my husband because he is constantly at my side, and he views any phone conversation relating to his Dementia as disloyalty on my part. The strange thing is he will speak of it to friends, even making a joke of it, but I suppose he believes that as long as I'm there to help him, we can manage. He pays lip service to how tired I must be, but demands the impossible moments later.
Tomorrow I'll have my 24 hours of freedom, but won't be able to fit in all that needs to be done.
And no reply from the Care Home that insisted on two weeks respite. I suspect they don't really want anyone so demanding.
Community Psychiatric Nurses are expected to do far more than yours is doing Anne, that`s for sure.
I know I was very lucky with ours who still follows me on TP but even so. You are in dire straits and really need more support than you are getting.
I know I was very lucky with ours who still follows me on TP but even so. You are in dire straits and really need more support than you are getting.
My cpn is brilliant. I would have gone under without her support.
Give them one more opportunity and if you don't get the action you so badly need go immediately to their superior. And mention carer breakdown!!!! Good luck X
Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
Give them one more opportunity and if you don't get the action you so badly need go immediately to their superior. And mention carer breakdown!!!! Good luck X
Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
Just sending some hugs and home your 24 hours of freedom was not too much of a whirl of sorting things
My friends husband used to do that ad she would go out the front door saying goodbye - your wife will be back soon, and wak round the back and come in shouting ' hi love, i'm home' that worked for a while with him. good luck xxxx
It gets more like Alice in Wonderland every day here. Yesterday husband was demanding that I get hold of the other three Annes,who were in the back garden apparently, so that he could show me that they disagree with what I'd been suggesting!
Sunday was gloriously sunny here, making much worse the fact that I felt really poorly most of the day. After two days that had been much too busy and included a sudden emergency return from my night away from home, I got a scary pain in my chest and rapidly besting heart, plus feeling nauseous. After taking an aspirin and trying to rest quietly while he was outside shouting " is anybody there to help us?" the pain gradually subsided. I'd thought I was feeling cold because I was dying, but it turned out he'd opened all the doors and windows!
I think our neighbours were too busy driving to church with their car windows shut to notice my husband was distressed!
Better now, but still no reply from the CPN.
Sunday was gloriously sunny here, making much worse the fact that I felt really poorly most of the day. After two days that had been much too busy and included a sudden emergency return from my night away from home, I got a scary pain in my chest and rapidly besting heart, plus feeling nauseous. After taking an aspirin and trying to rest quietly while he was outside shouting " is anybody there to help us?" the pain gradually subsided. I'd thought I was feeling cold because I was dying, but it turned out he'd opened all the doors and windows!
I think our neighbours were too busy driving to church with their car windows shut to notice my husband was distressed!Better now, but still no reply from the CPN.
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Thank you both for your concern... We had an appointment quite recently, GP squeezed us in at the end of his day, but from behaving like a raving lunatic at home husband rapidly changed into a perfectly rational if a little confused, person! It's hard to believe the transformation!
And if I can't find respite, how can I be ill?
Will try harder in the respite front....
And if I can't find respite, how can I be ill?
Will try harder in the respite front....
It may be stress/panic attack.... But I agree with others, you MUST go and see GP (again) to get it checked out.
Host with the most syndrome.... Not helpful is it when you need the situation to be seen as it really is..... Hugs xx
Host with the most syndrome.... Not helpful is it when you need the situation to be seen as it really is..... Hugs xx
Anne - I filmed my husband on my phone during one of his extreme sundowning and delusional sessions as he was always on best behaviour when the CPN called - or anyone else for that matter. I wasn't too bothered about actually filming all his behaviour (as it would have enraged him more if he knew what I was doing) as long as I got the rantings and ravings recorded.
I then played it to the CPN and social worker, which proved how he was when we were on our own. Could you do that to convince someone that you need him to go for emergency respite?
I then played it to the CPN and social worker, which proved how he was when we were on our own. Could you do that to convince someone that you need him to go for emergency respite?
Something finally happened; the Consultant rang. The CPN is on maternity leave and didn't get my messages.Sodium Valproate made no difference at all, so that's been stopped, and we started today on Diazepan. Have just read up about it, and it is definitely NOT ADVISED for Dementia agitation.
Everything I can find recommends improving the standard of caring
I'm utterly exhausted from smiling, calming, reassuring, and answering questions non stop every minute of the waking hours, creating enjoyable but not too exhausting outings, and thinking of pleasant ways to pass the time. I haven't even had a loo visit without it being cut short. We've had a few proper nights of sleep recently, helped by sleeping tablets, but what I need is respite for both of us.
People pop in and visit, are kind and thoughtful, but husband then says he wants to go home.... If nobody visits he says he's been abandoned by all his friends. I wish someone who knows all about Compassionate Communication would come and show me how it's done.....
Everything I can find recommends improving the standard of caring
I'm utterly exhausted from smiling, calming, reassuring, and answering questions non stop every minute of the waking hours, creating enjoyable but not too exhausting outings, and thinking of pleasant ways to pass the time. I haven't even had a loo visit without it being cut short. We've had a few proper nights of sleep recently, helped by sleeping tablets, but what I need is respite for both of us.
People pop in and visit, are kind and thoughtful, but husband then says he wants to go home.... If nobody visits he says he's been abandoned by all his friends. I wish someone who knows all about Compassionate Communication would come and show me how it's done.....
Something finally happened; the Consultant rang. The CPN is on maternity leave and didn't get my messages.Sodium Valproate made no difference at all, so that's been stopped, and we started today on Diazepan. Have just read up about it, and it is definitely NOT ADVISED for Dementia agitation.
Everything I can find recommends improving the standard of caring
I'm utterly exhausted from smiling, calming, reassuring, and answering questions non stop every minute of the waking hours, creating enjoyable but not too exhausting outings, and thinking of pleasant ways to pass the time. I haven't even had a loo visit without it being cut short. We've had a few proper nights of sleep recently, helped by sleeping tablets, but what I need is respite for both of us.
People pop in and visit, are kind and thoughtful, but husband then says he wants to go home.... If nobody visits he says he's been abandoned by all his friends. I wish someone who knows all about Compassionate Communication would come and show me how it's done.....
Oh Anne sorry you are having such a time of it
Diazepam is that not a muscle relaxant???? I take that for my back??? I wish I could help my dear friend . Sending understanding hugs xxxxSent from my iPhone using Talking Point
Something finally happened; the Consultant rang. The CPN is on maternity leave and didn't get my messages.Sodium Valproate made no difference at all, so that's been stopped, and we started today on Diazepan. Have just read up about it, and it is definitely NOT ADVISED for Dementia agitation.
Everything I can find recommends improving the standard of caring
I'm utterly exhausted from smiling, calming, reassuring, and answering questions non stop every minute of the waking hours, creating enjoyable but not too exhausting outings, and thinking of pleasant ways to pass the time. I haven't even had a loo visit without it being cut short. We've had a few proper nights of sleep recently, helped by sleeping tablets, but what I need is respite for both of us.
People pop in and visit, are kind and thoughtful, but husband then says he wants to go home.... If nobody visits he says he's been abandoned by all his friends. I wish someone who knows all about Compassionate Communication would come and show me how it's done.....
Oh Anne, I am so sorry you are having such a bad time of it. I don't think Diazepan should be given to your husband, as Heike says they are for pain. As you say you desperately need respite. Sending massive hugs and lots of love, Diana xxxxxxxxx
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