In need of a virtual hug

[exhausted 2015]

Hi Gill , just sending you a hug today to let you know I was thinking of you and your sister in law . It's so sad but I hope the day went as well as it could have . Hope your dad is a bit more settled ? How did you get on with sw?

Hi rob - how are you ? I hope your OH is doing ok ? Did you get sorted with the podiatrist ? I do hope the both of you are keeping well and getting out a bit . Do you get any time to yourself , to recharge your batteries ?

Hi shedrech , hope you and your dad ok? It was nice of his friend to visit him . As my mums dementia worsened people stopped visiting us and I remember my cousin asking me to get my mum to stop phoning her as she couldn't make my mum out . I have to say that upset me ( though I didn't say much ) . I just thought my poor wee mum would dial her number very carefully , looking at the number with such concentration do so as not to make a mistake . I thought that was so good that she still wanted to speak to her niece . It was only every Wednesday at lunchtime - she used to phone her sister ( her neices mum) until she died , so my mum just wanted to carry on the tradition of having a chat . The only thing is because of my mums stroke she wasn't too good at talking but she could listen . Unfortunately my cousin didn't have the patience with her so I put my mum off phoning her until she just forgot to do it . Very sad.

Hi Jenny , how are you doing ? How's your mum? Is she eating any better . Do you have another date for the assessment ?

Hi cat64. Sounds like you had a good break with the family .

Hi heidi . Not sure if you will come back on this thread but if you do I hope your doing ok ?

Things okay with my mum and I . Had a bit of a fall out with sister . She accidently cut my mums leg when getting her out of her car . She became very angry at me for wanting to use a particular irrigation fluid that I normally use at work to cleanse and promote healing . She didn't think it was good , threw the dressings box down and stormed out of my house. I didn't go after her as I wanted to look after my mum but I sent her a wee hello text the next day and have received no reply . I absolutely hate falling out with anyone and always make the same move even if it's not my fault but I always believe someone has to make the same move . I'm not sure what I have done wrong but I'm sure it will be something . By the way , the solution worked a treat and the cut is lolling clean and healthy and should heal well . Families , who needs them ?!

Best wishes everyone , take care . Lou X

I'm sorry Lou about your fall out with your sister but if I'm right in thinking you have a medical/ nursing background and I'm sure you would know best ,I wouldn't worry too much about your sister she will come round and I'm sure you are to busy with mum to worry about little fall outs xx hope I haven't offended you by saying this xxx
Thank you for thinking of me today... I did write a short post earlier about it xx
And my wishes too to Heidi we hope to hear from you when you are ready xxx

 

[nae sporran]

Morning Lou.

Your family sound almost as bad as mine. OH loves speaking to her family in Germany, usually thinks she was talking nonsense, but always seems to be laughing which is good to hear. At least your mum's leg is healing nicely, so that's the most important bit.

Morning Gill.

Five days to sort out a place for your dad after an emotional week sounds a bit rough. I was going to say take it easy, but that may be easier said than done. Will they let you visit each one if you have the time, of course? Best of luck and let us know how it went when you finally get a rest.

Morning Heidi. If you are now busy in London then best of luck with the job hunting and pop back on if you get a minute just to know you are alright.

OH got some new tablets from doc for her swollen legs and a promise to chase up the podiatrist, so we see how that goes.

Sorry Jenny, Shedrech and Cat I have lost the thread so just say hello and wish you well. Rob

 

[christmas]

Big hugs hope you feel better soon it must be so hard for xx

 

[Shedrech]

Hi everyone
I'm laughing a bit here - as I'll readily admit I'm not good at keeping all the individual posts clear in my head - but it's lovely that this group shares so much
maybe we could all agree that we read each others' posts with interest and kindness and always sympathise but respond only generally at times, and maybe not at all sometimes - we'll still be thinking of each other and always ready to step in to support
(hope that's OK)

Gill, maybe by summer you'll have found some equilibrium; a busy time for you in the next few days though - I hope you find a lovely home for your dad so you can both breath easy and you get to visit as his loving daughter

lovely to see you here christmas

in my experience dementia wrings out relationships - arguments, disappearances .... - so I'm learning to let go of disappointments and let them be; instead to appreciate every kindness offered and store up the memory of each to warm up any coldness

and this thread does what it says in the title - offers and accepts a virtual hug

 

[nae sporran]

It's always good to exchange a few wee individual hugs and greetings Shedrech, your postings in any thread I have seen are caring and wise. So, pop in and out as and when you can. I know what you mean about letting go of disappointments, though it's easier said than done like everything with Dementia.

All the best. Rob

 

[jknight]

Hi everyone
I'm laughing a bit here - as I'll readily admit I'm not good at keeping all the individual posts clear in my head - but it's lovely that this group shares so much
maybe we could all agree that we read each others' posts with interest and kindness and always sympathise but respond only generally at times, and maybe not at all sometimes - we'll still be thinking of each other and always ready to step in to support
(hope that's OK)

Gill, maybe by summer you'll have found some equilibrium; a busy time for you in the next few days though - I hope you find a lovely home for your dad so you can both breath easy and you get to visit as his loving daughter

lovely to see you here christmas

in my experience dementia wrings out relationships - arguments, disappearances .... - so I'm learning to let go of disappointments and let them be; instead to appreciate every kindness offered and store up the memory of each to warm up any coldness

and this thread does what it says in the title - offers and accepts a virtual hug

I am with Jackie! (& Rob) I can't keep up with everyone's individual circumstances but you are all always in my thoughts (and have become very important people in my life) I have found our little group to be SUCH a support!!

Chilli prawns sound amazing!! I can't eat them but I could watch you guys!! I have a glass of wine in front of me and I raise it in a toast to you wonderful people!! You keep me going and give me the confidence to be open and honest in difficult circumstances. I hope you all feel that you can contact me any time (through this thread or PM)
Much love from jenny xxx

 

[exhausted 2015]

I am with Jackie! (& Rob) I can't keep up with everyone's individual circumstances but you are all always in my thoughts (and have become very important people in my life) I have found our little group to be SUCH a support!!

Chilli prawns sound amazing!! I can't eat them but I could watch you guys!! I have a glass of wine in front of me and I raise it in a toast to you wonderful people!! You keep me going and give me the confidence to be open and honest in difficult circumstances. I hope you all feel that you can contact me any time (through this thread or PM)
Much love from jenny xxx

Hi Jenny, i Will raise a glass too to all you dear people xx
I'm beginning to loose track of all the posts but I do read them and am always thinking of you all ...so cheers all xxxx

 

[jknight]

Hi Jenny, i Will raise a glass too to all you dear people xx
I'm beginning to loose track of all the posts but I do read them and am always thinking of you all ...so cheers all xxxx

Cheers lovely! And cheers to the rest of our group xxx

 

[cat64]

Well its 4 weeks ago today that mum moved into her care home and they say she's fine and can stay permanently which feels lovely in one way but very sad in another.

tomorrow my sister and I will start the long job of sorting her house.she's only got a two bed terrace but its got a huge loft which I know is heaving! its going to be a long haul!


May I ask if any of you have family problems involving dementia? ..................my brother who happens to be a psychiatric nurse of all things three years ago said mum had been callous for so long he wasn't going to have anything to do with her any more and he hasn't!! ..........but hence so upset and broken up the family. Yes mum has always been bloody minded and rather challenging but for him to not help my sister and I at all has made me so angry and upset.
Poor Dad who is divorced from mum is piggy in the middle as my bro will go and see him but of course he cant discuss mum who he was still seeing regularly. Also it means my niece hasn't seen any of us and my children haven't had their uncle at any of their 21st birthdays etc
Why wont he just sit down and have an adult conversation with us at what shes done or said? or is it a bloke thing?

My sister and I have been through so much in the last three years caring for mum and doing our best to keep her safe etc and now she is in her care home I emailed him to ask whether he wanted anything from the house and he was very abrupt saying he would bring a van and help clear things if necessary..how can we do that and not discuss mum at all ?? so Ive said no to this.
ive got to the point whether I say I just wont have any contact with him anymore...do you think this is right?

sorry this has come out as a rant but you lot are wonderful listeners....any wise words for me?

 

[nae sporran]

Sorry Cat.

My older brother is a bully, so no longer bother with him. My younger brother was always caught up with his own family 500 miles away, and OH's son is too caught up with his family in London to help much. So, I know how you feel and what you are dealing with, but in the end just ignored bullying brother and settled for talking to the other two now and again with little expectation.
We have so much stuff in a box room too, which I have been slowly whittling down over about 5 years. The other day I cleared out some old teddy bears OH bought at a Fair for resale and when I told her she had forgotten all about them. Sorry, rambling on myself now. If I was you I would just clear it out as and when you can.

Wishing you all the best with it. Rob

 

[jknight]

Well its 4 weeks ago today that mum moved into her care home and they say she's fine and can stay permanently which feels lovely in one way but very sad in another.

tomorrow my sister and I will start the long job of sorting her house.she's only got a two bed terrace but its got a huge loft which I know is heaving! its going to be a long haul!


May I ask if any of you have family problems involving dementia? ..................my brother who happens to be a psychiatric nurse of all things three years ago said mum had been callous for so long he wasn't going to have anything to do with her any more and he hasn't!! ..........but hence so upset and broken up the family. Yes mum has always been bloody minded and rather challenging but for him to not help my sister and I at all has made me so angry and upset.
Poor Dad who is divorced from mum is piggy in the middle as my bro will go and see him but of course he cant discuss mum who he was still seeing regularly. Also it means my niece hasn't seen any of us and my children haven't had their uncle at any of their 21st birthdays etc
Why wont he just sit down and have an adult conversation with us at what shes done or said? or is it a bloke thing?

My sister and I have been through so much in the last three years caring for mum and doing our best to keep her safe etc and now she is in her care home I emailed him to ask whether he wanted anything from the house and he was very abrupt saying he would bring a van and help clear things if necessary..how can we do that and not discuss mum at all ?? so Ive said no to this.
ive got to the point whether I say I just wont have any contact with him anymore...do you think this is right?

sorry this has come out as a rant but you lot are wonderful listeners....any wise words for me?

Cat,

OH has a brother who was always a nasty bully. We cut contact after we lost MIL. Best thing we ever did! If your brother doesn't bring anything to your life don't feel guilty if you do the same!

Much love, Jenny xxx

 

[jknight]

Today was the second anniversary of my lovely dad's death. Mum was very upset but thought it was the first anniversary. I never seem to have time to grieve myself. I sometimes wonder what I did in a previous life that was so bad! In just four weeks I lost my much loved cat, broke a tooth, pinched a nerve in my neck and commemorated my dad's life (there are other things going on that I won't mention here as they are private to my children)
Heyho. Tomorrow is another day!
Much love, all xxxxx

 

[exhausted 2015]

Today was the second anniversary of my lovely dad's death. Mum was very upset but thought it was the first anniversary. I never seem to have time to grieve myself. I sometimes wonder what I did in a previous life that was so bad! In just four weeks I lost my much loved cat, broke a tooth, pinched a nerve in my neck and commemorated my dad's life (there are other things going on that I won't mention here as they are private to my children)
Heyho. Tomorrow is another day!
Much love, all xxxxx

Hi jenny,know exactly how you feel,what with all that is going on with dad,my own health and serious problems with my son,but like you say tomorrow is another day
Take care all goodnight xxx
Oh ...on a lighter note....the gentleman in the opposite bed to my dad ( he is 90 and has dementia ) told me yesterday to have a bet on number 7 in today's grand national... so I gave it a try and the horse came 4th !!! so I have a small win lol xxx

 

[nae sporran]

Today was the second anniversary of my lovely dad's death. Mum was very upset but thought it was the first anniversary. I never seem to have time to grieve myself. I sometimes wonder what I did in a previous life that was so bad! In just four weeks I lost my much loved cat, broke a tooth, pinched a nerve in my neck and commemorated my dad's life (there are other things going on that I won't mention here as they are private to my children)
Heyho. Tomorrow is another day!
Much love, all xxxxx

Sorry Jenny, hope you have someone to talk to about your lovely dad. When my Granny died my mum kept the funeral too low key, but when we scattered the ashes by Loch Lomond where she had lived for year all the old memories came back and it was quite comforting to celebrate the good times. Hope your tooth and your neck get better, does a head massage work.

All the best. Rob

 

[nae sporran]

Hi jenny,know exactly how you feel,what with all that is going on with dad,my own health and serious problems with my son,but like you say tomorrow is another day
Take care all goodnight xxx
Oh ...on a lighter note....the gentleman in the opposite bed to my dad ( he is 90 and has dementia ) told me yesterday to have a bet on number 7 in today's grand national... so I gave it a try and the horse came 4th !!! so I have a small win lol xxx

Was it enough to treat yourself to nice Sunday lunch and a glass of wine Gill? Indulge yourself, you deserve it.

All the best. Rob

 

[exhausted 2015]

Was it enough to treat yourself to nice Sunday lunch and a glass of wine Gill? Indulge yourself, you deserve it.

All the best. Rob

Hi Rob. It was just £7.00 enough for a nice bottle of wine though!!! hope you and oh are well xxxx

 

[jknight]

Hi all! Just checking in to make sure that you are all OK!

 

[Louby65]

Hi Jenny , I was just about to post to see how everyone was . I'm good , thank you . My mum and I have had a good weekend - went to the coast on Saturday and had a lovely lunch and a wee drive around the coast line . We sat in the car and had an ice cream. It was a lovely day and my mum thoroughly enjoyed it . The sea air must have got to her as she slept right through until 9 the next day ! How are you getting on . I'm just catching up with the thread . I'm so sorry about your dads anniversary and your poor mum being upset . Hope you are keeping well and that your family are doing ok. Lou xx

Hello exhausted , how is your dad ? Is he any better . Hope you and your family are doing ok ? Lou xx

Hello rob , hope you and your OH are doing ok? Lou xx

Hello shedrech , how's your dad doing ? Lou xx

Hello cat64, how's your mum doing . I hope she's more settled . Lou xx

I hope everyone who visits this thread are well and their PWD are as well as they can be . Take care and my best wishes , Lou xx

 

[exhausted 2015]

Hi Jenny , I was just about to post to see how everyone was . I'm good , thank you . My mum and I have had a good weekend - went to the coast on Saturday and had a lovely lunch and a wee drive around the coast line . We sat in the car and had an ice cream. It was a lovely day and my mum thoroughly enjoyed it . The sea air must have got to her as she slept right through until 9 the next day ! How are you getting on . I'm just catching up with the thread . I'm so sorry about your dads anniversary and your poor mum being upset . Hope you are keeping well and that your family are doing ok. Lou xx

Hello exhausted , how is your dad ? Is he any better . Hope you and your family are doing ok ? Lou xx

Hello rob , hope you and your OH are doing ok? Lou xx

Hello shedrech , how's your dad doing ? Lou xx

Hello cat64, how's your mum doing . I hope she's more settled . Lou xx

I hope everyone who visits this thread are well and their PWD are as well as they can be . Take care and my best wishes , Lou xx

Hello Lou, I'm pleased that you had a good weekend with your mum, that sea air is good for sleep, can you send me a bottle of it down for dad please !!! dad is stable at the moment but still mostly confused, his weight is dropping again ...poor thing he is only 7 st 10lb but at least we haven't had anymore health scares and all his conditions seem settled at the moment xxxx

 

[exhausted 2015]

Hi all! Just checking in to make sure that you are all OK!

Hi jenny, we are OK thank you, hope all is as well has it can be with you and yours xxx