Would really value some advice please. I am convinced that my mother-in-law has dementia and has had symptoms for some years. We have noticed short-term memory problems and mood changes with depression/withdrawal for about 5 years, together with repetition of speech. Things have got progressively worse. She can't find her way anywhere alone now and is quite anxious most of the time. She struggles with anything requiring cognitive skills eg. playing board games with the children, map-reading, and also follows my father-in-law around if he leaves the room etc. She is noticeably worse in the evenings and often disturbed at night. I think they are seeing a specialist (she has definitely had a brain scan) but they don't really want to talk about it, which we respect. She's a very intelligent retired professional lady. The real problem is that recently she has started to become paranoid as well and has telephoned me a number of times with various worries, mostly about money being taken from her bank account by family members. I just don't know how to respond to this. She is still very articulate but I don't think telling her the truth-that I think she's suffering from paranoia as a symptom of dementia-is going to be the way to go. I keep reassuring her and hoping she'll forget (!) and move on but she seems fixated with this. Also, she is still driving and I don't think this is safe at all. Sorry to be so long-winded! Thanks folks.
Advice needed please!
- Thread starter charliex
- Start date
Hi Charlie, welcome to TP
Many of the issues you mention are so familiar to all of us that it's hard to know where to start. Ife she's had a brain scan the I guess she's on the doctors radar and they can refer her to Social Services for and adult assessment, you can too if you think it necessary and it sounds like you do.
When you say "She can't find her way anywhere alone now and is quite anxious most of the time. She struggles with anything requiring cognitive skills eg. playing board games with the children, map-reading, and also follows my father-in-law around if he leaves the room" it all rings a lot of bells but you don't mention her age which is not always a guide should be taken into account, however, that said I'd keep a log of the events and possibly send it to her GP and ask for an appointment where you could attend too it may be possible medication might slow things down a bit and check for what the problem is, it may not be dementia, it needs looking into properly.
K
Many of the issues you mention are so familiar to all of us that it's hard to know where to start. Ife she's had a brain scan the I guess she's on the doctors radar and they can refer her to Social Services for and adult assessment, you can too if you think it necessary and it sounds like you do.
When you say "She can't find her way anywhere alone now and is quite anxious most of the time. She struggles with anything requiring cognitive skills eg. playing board games with the children, map-reading, and also follows my father-in-law around if he leaves the room" it all rings a lot of bells but you don't mention her age which is not always a guide should be taken into account, however, that said I'd keep a log of the events and possibly send it to her GP and ask for an appointment where you could attend too it may be possible medication might slow things down a bit and check for what the problem is, it may not be dementia, it needs looking into properly.
K
Could I also add that if your MIL is ringing you and accusing family members of taking money from her account then she has directly involved you in this situation. I can fully understand any reluctance on your part to intrude but perhaps it is time that their children sit up, take notice and and get engaged in what is happening with their parents.
Perhaps you and OH need to talk and come up with some way of helping FIL. It is better to be supportive now than wait until a crisis arises.
Perhaps you and OH need to talk and come up with some way of helping FIL. It is better to be supportive now than wait until a crisis arises.
Hi
Just wondering if she accepts that she has 'memory problems'? That is what we always spoke about with my Mum in the earlier days as she would not accept the 'Dementia' word being used about herself. Talking about her 'memory problems' was always much more acceptable and when I first started going to GP appointments with her, she talked about them quite openly to the GP. It is usually difficult to get them to accept a Dr's appointment is necessary, but with some diplomatic persuasion, it is usually possible! Safe white lies do help too!! Best wishes.
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Just wondering if she accepts that she has 'memory problems'? That is what we always spoke about with my Mum in the earlier days as she would not accept the 'Dementia' word being used about herself. Talking about her 'memory problems' was always much more acceptable and when I first started going to GP appointments with her, she talked about them quite openly to the GP. It is usually difficult to get them to accept a Dr's appointment is necessary, but with some diplomatic persuasion, it is usually possible! Safe white lies do help too!! Best wishes.
Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
