Following me all the time

[Trisha4]

I am being unfair and unreasonable. Husband follows me everywhere - upstairs, downstairs, outside, even when I go to the toilet. It's driving me mad and he can't help it, he has Alzheimer's. It's me that needs to change, he can't. I feel mean but it gets me down.


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[Kjn]

I am being unfair and unreasonable. Husband follows me everywhere - upstairs, downstairs, outside, even when I go to the toilet. It's driving me mad and he can't help it, he has Alzheimer's. It's me that needs to change, he can't. I feel mean but it gets me down.


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You arnt being mean, it's hard work. My dads started with that too. When I phone mum he is staring through glass door , stood by her on phone wanted her to help him with to remote or whatever .
Xxx

 

[Aisling]

I am being unfair and unreasonable. Husband follows me everywhere - upstairs, downstairs, outside, even when I go to the toilet. It's driving me mad and he can't help it, he has Alzheimer's. It's me that needs to change, he can't. I feel mean but it gets me down.


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hi Trisha,

You are not being unfair or unreasonable. You need practical help and support. This behaviour is exhausting and draining. What needs to change is that more support needs to be given to carers. Also respect and care for people who have worked all their lives and now need excellent health care. They have the human right to this care. They cannot access this care for themselves and their carers are up to their eyes and exhausted. I hope that national organisations will realise this at some point, lobby and demand that governments take care of their vulnerable. Just my opinion, too many brief cases walking around and having meetings. Then they tell carers to mind themselves........ Sure I can hardly have a minute to brush my teeth. General public need to be given information regarding this awful illness, just like information on other health issues. Again the latter is up to the dept of health.

You are exhausted. I hope you have support from family and friends. If you have, then shout as loud as you can for support from health and social welfare departments. You need regular breaks and I hope you can get it.

We are not superhuman.

Virtual hugs,

Aisling

 

[Beate]

I think shadowing happens for two reasons: boredom and fear. You're the one point of reference he has, and it's vital to him that he has you in his sight. I managed to stop a lot of shadowing by occupying OH's hands. A pack of cards gives him fun for hours. If I'm in the kitchen for longer than two minutes, he still comes to look for me, but I can actually have a shower in the morning now while he sits peacefully on the sofa sorting his cards.

 

[Trisha4]

Thank you for your understanding and support


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[Casbow]

I agree that it could be boredom in some at least.My husband rolls magazines up and spends hours checking them and putting them in different places. I feel sad to watch him as he is so engrossed and "busy" and to think how he used to be. But it does stop him following me all day, although he still does sometimes, depending on the time of day. And he seems content when he is doing it. He has all the Radio times for quite a few months and also small brochures that come through the door. Good luck if you can find something to take his attention away from you.Lots of lovexx

 

[Redpoppy]

Under surveillance

My husband also comes looking for me if I leave the living room.He also annoys me when I am using the telephone by putting the volume down on the TV so that he can listen to my conversations. My family text me numerous times during the day and he always asks who it is and what they want. I have tried going into my bedroom to use the extension,but he follows and listens outside the door. I can see him in my mirror! I know it's sad as he is unable to have a decent conversation nowas and probably misses the contact he once had with friends and family . It's so sad,but that doesn't make it any easier for us to accept this behaviour.Please don't feel guilty ---we all need some time to ourselves.

 

[triumph25]

Irritating behaviour!

Me too, follows me everywhere nerves shredded. It's part and parcel of the illness, doesn't make it any easier, but you are certainly not the only one, and you shouldn't best yourself up about it, it's maddening!