I thought that dying would be peaceful

[3rd generation]

Just to say that Mum finally managed to let go yesterday with my sister and I by her side. She fought right up until the end but didn't suffer. I almost think that we should all be better educated as to the practicalities of dying. I know it is different for everyone but some kind of framework would be helpful. We are all going to go through it sooner or later. I am feeling confused now, relief that it is all over and grief that she is no longer there. We lost her twice over. Thanks to all you wonderful people out there - you helped me when I felt so low. This site is a wonderful place.

 

[Cat27]

I'm so sorry. My thoughts are with you all.

 

[chick1962]

So sorry our thoughts are with you xxxxx


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[cragmaid]

Sadly, you have learned that the passing is not always sweetness and light. I have sat and witnessed a few deaths now. Some have been a fight to hang on, to battle for every breath, some have been peaceful, but eventually there is no fight left, and all there is is peace

I wish you the peace of living now. To give yourself time to reflect and time to grieve.

Thinking of you, Maureen.

 

[jan.s]

I am sorry to hear about your loss, but now Mum is at peace.

Wishing you strength in the days to come.

 

[LYN T]

Sending my condolences to you and your family. Your Mum is at peace.

Take care

Lyn T XX

 

[Shedrech]

My condolences 3rd generation
I hope it is a comfort to you and your sister that you were all together
your mum is at rest
wishing you some peace - go gently

 

[CJinUSA]

Just to say that Mum finally managed to let go yesterday with my sister and I by her side. She fought right up until the end but didn't suffer. I almost think that we should all be better educated as to the practicalities of dying. I know it is different for everyone but some kind of framework would be helpful. We are all going to go through it sooner or later. I am feeling confused now, relief that it is all over and grief that she is no longer there. We lost her twice over. Thanks to all you wonderful people out there - you helped me when I felt so low. This site is a wonderful place.

I know what you are experiencing, just having gone this route myself. I hope you find peace in her final rest.

 

[Pickles53]

Sending my sympathy and wishing you peace. It will come.

 

[stanleypj]

Please accept my condolences. I wish you peace and strength for the coming days.

 

[Quilty]

You should be proud that you were there until the very end. Sending you love and strength to help you through these hard, hard days.

 

[canary]

Sending condolences.
Your emotions are going to be all over the place, so dont worry about that. Wishing you peace now, too
xx

 

[angecmc]

Sorry for your loss xx

Ange

 

[Chemmy]

Condolences from me too. Even though you think you are prepared for the worst, it can still hit you like a ton of bricks at the time. Wishing you peace over the next few difficult days.

 

[jorgieporgie]

Comfort and peace to all your family. God Bless xxx

 

[Canadian Joanne]

My condolences to you and your family.

 

[balloo]

My Mum was diagnosed with vascular dementia 10 years ago - she is now 90 years old. She has been in care home for the past four years and has slowly, oh so slowly declined. She is now at the end of the path - something that after all this time doesn't seem possible. However I had no idea that it would be such a battle. She hasn't eaten in weeks, is having severe difficulty swallowing and hasn't drunk more than a few sips for the past few days. She hasn't been out of bed for weeks and has a lesion on her foot grade 3 so is on morphine for the pain. Also liquid paracetamol and ibuprofen are squirted into her mouth with a syringe though most of it seems to dribble out again. She can't talk and is literally fighting with her arms and body. She is very restless and keeps jerking and moving almost spastically - sorry if that isn't politically correct but I don't know how else to describe it. Is this from her brain, is she in pain or is this part of the dying process? The nursing and caring staff in the home are very good but no one seems to be saying very much. To me it feels like she is literally fighting death - her brain has given up on her and so her animal instinct to survive has kicked in??? But I might be barking up the wrong tree. I suppose it doesn't matter only that I would really like her to have a peaceful death but this awful disease seems to have robbed her of this last dignity too. Just wondered if anyone else had experienced anything similar. I know the end is imminent but I never imagined it would be this hard. Sorry for ranting!

very similar to what happened to my MIl ony a few weeks ago. Last week she passed away uncountious for 4 days after not eatting or drinking for 2 weeks. she stayed were she wanted to be in her / our home . she had been bed bound for 12 weeks before she passed away. she had stage 2 bed sore n elbows but with carefull manging and a basci air mattress they went. non on bottom etc even though she had been incontient for 9 months. Me and husband cared for her only until 1 week before she died . we then brought in district nurse to visit and they helped change her and bed to save me. we had a marie curie nurse 1 night so we could get 1 night sleep as we were taking it in turns to sit with her. we were both with her when she passed away. She ended up needing a morphine pump for pain and drugs for adjitation .

 

[lin1]

My condolences to you and your family.

 

[LeedsLass]

Sending you much love and sympathy, i'm glad you feel some relief. Good luck with arranging the funeral and take very good care of yourself X


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