my dad's been banned

[geniemax]

Well today was the day that my dad was banned from the local shop. I was expecting it because they could only put up with so much. I had in my previous posts explained the pilfering and the fact I had left a photo with my contact details. So its been about three months since I spoke to the supervisor and tody I got a phone call dad was caught taking items and he was stopped and given a banning notice, he mustn't go there ever again. I thanked them for ringing me because they could of phoned the police. I saw my dad an hour ago and he cant remember anything so I am not looking forward to having to remind him every day that he must not go in the shop or face the consequences? Day to day then play it by ear I say it could be worse, it will be worse, at least he safely home had a good tea he could of been taken to the station and I dread to think . So thanks for listening all is well again.

 

[marionq]

I really sympathise. Once they are on a loop of doing something it is impossible to change or reason away that behaviour. He will not remember and will not understand and it is possible that the police will eventually be involved even if it is only to alert social services to the problem eg he may only be able to shop with an escort.

It is so worrying but on the positive side he is home safe now.

 

[cragmaid]

I'm sorry to hear this, but I am wondering how you can enforce this with Dad. His short time memory is shot now, so he cannot be expected to abide by a banning order. Is he alone through the day or does he have company? If the ban cannot be reinforced as he is going out of the door, I can't see him stopping of his own volition......sorry to be negative.

 

[Beate]

I don't know your circumstances but I think it's time to remove him from this situation by occupying him otherwise during store hours, by attendance at a day centre, sitters or both. I remember very well the phone calls I had from the garage next door who knew OH before dementia and who he was now visiting every day, bar anything else to do while I was at work. He wasn't taking things but they were trying to run a business and he was always hanging around, often using colourful language. They weren't the deciding factor but a short time later I got him accepted at a day centre, where he was very happy. The poor man just needed something to fill his day.

So contact social services for a needs assessment as soon as you can. It's no life for either of you.

 

[jaymor]

Would you consider popping into the local police station and explaining the situation. Then if they are called out they will understand the situation straight away. We were involved with the police on three occasions when no mental health team were available and they were wonderful. They actually got my husband the help we needed. It was not their job to deal with the crisis but they went that extra mile to make sure we were OK.

The last thing you want is for your Dad to be hauled off with them thinking he is a shop lifter.

Difficult time for you, take care.

 

[geniemax]

Would you consider popping into the local police station and explaining the situation. Then if they are called out they will understand the situation straight away. We were involved with the police on three occasions when no mental health team were available and they were wonderful. They actually got my husband the help we needed. It was not their job to deal with the crisis but they went that extra mile to make sure we were OK.

The last thing you want is for your Dad to be hauled off with them thinking he is a shop lifter.

Difficult time for you, take care.

Thankyou for your suggestions I will call in at the police station just in case they are called in. Dad goes to day centre one day I am with him 3 days the rest of the time I am at work he goes on the bus on these days and I have a gps tracker in case he goes astray I don't want to finish work but I cant see my employers having to take on my changing circumstances when things digress there are bound to be situations when I need to be called on in works time. I find this thought very difficult juggling work with possible and inevitable situations.