Fluctuating memory - very frustrating!

[InnerGeek]

Both my partner and I have commented recently that my Dad's memory seems to have improved quite a bit recently - he's keeping better track of the days, remembering and talking about events that happened earlier today, yesterday, will happen tomorrow all in the correct context, none of which he could do three or four weeks ago...

...Yet somehow he can't remember that he has eaten half a loaf of bread, half a jar of jam, a packet of biscuits, a pear, four apples, seven nutrigrain bars and his lunch so far today. He's also convinced that his CDs are cassettes (not heard this one before today).

Roll on the day we hear about the memory clinic appointment, I just want to know whether we are dealing with alcohol dementia or alzheimer's, so that we at least know whether to believe that the memory improvement is actually an improvement or just an anomaly.

 

[fizzie]

my mum had vascular dementia and memory did fluctuate - sometimes it would really deteriorate for a couple of days and then improve again massively, never quite back to where it was before but improvement and then it would stabilise until the next drop but you are right, the clinic will be able to help you to define what it is

 

[Amy in the US]

Hi, InnerGeek, nice to "see" you around. I am sure a Memory Clinic appointment can't happen too soon for you and your partner, and hope you will get some information from them. I also hope all else is as well as possible.

My mother has Alzheimer's and very poor short term memory (I forget the actual diagnosis about the short term memory, but it basically amounts to no short term memory...most of the time) so I have no idea if my experience is helpful to you, but I'll throw it out there anyway.

My mother also has a puzzling, and sometimes frustrating, ability to remember some things some of the time, and not the rest of the time. I admit I've given up trying to understand it as she is now in a care home and so I am not looking for ways to deal with as I was, when she lived alone at home, but know what you're talking about. I think it's quite natural to wonder what might be systemic, as it were, and what might be disease progression, and what might be something else.

I also have found that for me it's sometimes helpful to think of my mother's functional ability as somewhere on a spectrum, rather than a specific level or line, if that makes sense. I know there are things she definitely can't do any longer, but then other things are more slippery and I did spend a lot of time driving myself nuts trying to "place" her functioning. I have tried to let go of that as much as possible and just deal with each day as it presents itself. That sounds very Zen/mindful/enlightened/whatever, and is certainly easy to say, but is unbelievably difficult to do. But I got lots of similar advice, so I'm just passing it all along to you! (this is said in a pleasantly humorous way, and not intended to annoy you or anyone else)

There are also factors that I've noticed influence how my mother's memory and cognitive function are on any given day or at any given moment. These include: level of stress/anxiety/distress, general mood, amount of pain she's in, how much sleep she has had, if she is physically uncomfortable in any way other than pain (such as temperature, shoes are tight, et cetera), if she's eaten recently, if she is ill in any way (from seasonal allergies to a head cold to a UTI), time of day, possibly the weather, and those are just the factors I know about. I don't know if this is true for every person with dementia, but it could be?

Hope there's something useful, for someone, in there. Hang in there and try to take care of yourself.

 

[BillBRNC]

I have early onset at age 65, started about 6 years ago. Just diagnosed. My short term memory is overall better now than a year ago, but it still isn't good. It just comes and goes, but it is always partly gone, then mostly gone, then whatever. My main problems now involve mood, anxiety, anger confusion, dealing with finance or making decisions. Part of what is going on for me is that I stopped caring about my short term memory. I just don't care what I did yesterday or what someone planned for tomorrow. If I turn around in the house to go do something, then quickly forget, I just move on to something else. I try to not worry about the small stuff, and memory seems like small stuff to me. When I worry or get pressed, then everything goes to hell, so I try not to let anything bother me, regardless is what. Good luck.