So my mum went into residential care today. I have been explaining I am away for a few days and those nice ladies at the place we visited a couple of times have offered to look after her - but it didn't really sink in. The plan was/is that if she settles she will stay and we just won't mention her old home (sheltered accommodation)
So I have had sleepless nights worrying (see other threads) I went in and added some personal touches to her room including family photos and picked her up this afternoon.
As we approached the place she got excited because she's been as a day centre visitor and really liked it so was happy go in again, even though we were going to the residential part this time. (She told me it is lovely in there -had I been in there at all?
)
So we trouped up to her room, and she went in quite happily - astonished that there were some family photos there - but then proceeded to explain to the carers who they all were. Happily had a cup of tea and then we passed through the lounge. I had been concerned because there are a couple of residents who are really out of it, and one had her head lolling down to one side. I worried what my mum would think but instead.. her years of working in a hospital and later in social services herself came back to her - and she took it upon herself to talk to them - try to interpret their needs (while saying to me "oh isn't it a shame?" Appparently there is another resident there too who believes she is one of the care assistants for those with greater dementia than herself. It's wonderful!!
There was an "afternoon tea party" on and my mum was dead keen to go there. There was old music, tables with tablecloths and cakes on cake stands, serviettes, fancy plates and they had even designed and printed off menus for each table like Tea at the Ritz So they put my mum on a table with some other ladies, two of whom will be her neighbours and seem about the same level of dementia as her, so could interact to some extent. And she seemed to love it She even had three slices of cake which is probably more than she used to eat all day before we figured out her condition.
One of the women on her table looked very confused and asked me if I could tell her where she was, and she made to get up and wander around - my mum took charge "Come on - you sit down here again and have some of your tea" Goodness me
So I told her I was just nipping out and would see her later and she literally dismissed me with a wave of her hand ( in the "yes, whatever" manner my children would say)
And that was that!
Now - how she will cope tonight when she has to go to bed in this place, and tomorrow when she gets up -or if she wakes up and wanders in the night (there are night staff of course) I don't know. A part of me still has fingers crossed in case she suddenly has a change of heart and wants to go back to her sheltered accommodation. I can't for the life of me see how she could want to go back to a flat where she sits all on her own for hours at a time, as opposed to an environment where stuff is going on and she feels useful - but then I don't have dementia, so I can't say what she will think.
But it is a very positive start
So I have had sleepless nights worrying (see other threads) I went in and added some personal touches to her room including family photos and picked her up this afternoon.
As we approached the place she got excited because she's been as a day centre visitor and really liked it so was happy go in again, even though we were going to the residential part this time. (She told me it is lovely in there -had I been in there at all?
)So we trouped up to her room, and she went in quite happily - astonished that there were some family photos there - but then proceeded to explain to the carers who they all were. Happily had a cup of tea and then we passed through the lounge. I had been concerned because there are a couple of residents who are really out of it, and one had her head lolling down to one side. I worried what my mum would think but instead.. her years of working in a hospital and later in social services herself came back to her - and she took it upon herself to talk to them - try to interpret their needs (while saying to me "oh isn't it a shame?"
Appparently there is another resident there too who believes she is one of the care assistants for those with greater dementia than herself. It's wonderful!!There was an "afternoon tea party" on and my mum was dead keen to go there. There was old music, tables with tablecloths and cakes on cake stands, serviettes, fancy plates and they had even designed and printed off menus for each table like Tea at the Ritz
So they put my mum on a table with some other ladies, two of whom will be her neighbours and seem about the same level of dementia as her, so could interact to some extent. And she seemed to love it She even had three slices of cake which is probably more than she used to eat all day before we figured out her condition.One of the women on her table looked very confused and asked me if I could tell her where she was, and she made to get up and wander around - my mum took charge "Come on - you sit down here again and have some of your tea" Goodness me
So I told her I was just nipping out and would see her later and she literally dismissed me with a wave of her hand ( in the "yes, whatever" manner my children would say)
And that was that!
Now - how she will cope tonight when she has to go to bed in this place, and tomorrow when she gets up -or if she wakes up and wanders in the night (there are night staff of course) I don't know. A part of me still has fingers crossed in case she suddenly has a change of heart and wants to go back to her sheltered accommodation. I can't for the life of me see how she could want to go back to a flat where she sits all on her own for hours at a time, as opposed to an environment where stuff is going on and she feels useful - but then I don't have dementia, so I can't say what she will think.
But it is a very positive start
