my best friend

[deetay1]

hi all
my best friend is only 51 and she has PCA she is around the stage 5 i feel lost to know how to help her its all so upsetting. has anybody any advise x

 

[Grannie G]

Hello deetay

You can only be there for your best friend.

So many friends and family walk away from people with dementia , they are left alone at a time when they need good family and friends more than ever.

You cannot make your best friend better but you can certainly help by showing the support and understanding she needs.

 

[deetay1]

I notice her family leave her alone so much she is scared and so am I its so hard she has no support in place and i see people look at her when i take her out like she is drunk or stupid and i get so frustrated and feel i am the only person who really understands she is slipping away in front of our eyes all i think about every day is her .

 

[Onlyme]

Ignore how her family are coping. Perhaps the care and love you show your friend will enable her family to follow your lead. Dementia doesn't come with a handbook, the professionals seem to disappear into thin air and we see all left to cope as best we can.

Your friend is very lucky to have you. Ignore the idiot do gooders looking down their noses. If things get really bad in the future you could print off some small cards and hand one over.

Later on I would be tempted to write 'my friend has a terminal illness which is effecting her brain'. If that doesn't shut people up nothing will.

 

[deetay1]

Ignore how her family are coping. Perhaps the care and love you show your friend will enable her family to follow your lead. Dementia doesn't come with a handbook, the professionals seem to disappear into thin air and we see all left to cope as best we can.

Your friend is very lucky to have you. Ignore the idiot do gooders looking down their noses. If things get really bad in the future you could print off some small cards and hand one over.

Later on I would be tempted to write 'my friend has a terminal illness which is effecting her brain'. If that doesn't shut people up nothing will.

thank you for your reply i am just realizing that if i have to be the strong one i will and i can do this to the end for her i am the lucky one to have had her in my life for over 40 years and we have been closer than sisters,i need to start dealing with everything one day at a time because the big picture scares the hell out of me. your ideas on the cards actually made me smile thank you

 

[Quilty]

She is very lucky to have a devoted friend who loves her so much. Keep posting and we will all be here to help and support you.
Love Quilty

 

[fizzie]

Welcome to TP
You have amazing strength and courage and I just wanted to say that although i have no suggestions we are all here to support you on this very difficult way forward xx

 

[polly1]

Don't know where abouts you live but there is a 'closed' PCA Facebook group that offers invaluable advice and support. It also details local support group meetings.
My husband has PCA he was diagnosed in 2011 aged 57.