A new stage in my life...................

[Saffie]

Best wishes Sylvia.
I went back to the crematorium for a funeral a few months ago but it was to the other chapel of the two that are there. Hard though and yes, I wa tearful.
I remember you telling us about that lady. How sad she has died as if it the same lady.
I seem to recall she had had surgery just before you met her too. xxx

 

[Grannie G]

Yes Saffie. She recovered well from serious prolapse surgery but also had pancreatic cancer.

 

[Izzy]

Thinking of you today Sylvua and wishing you strength.

 

[jaymor]

Sad day for you Sylvia and a difficult one too. Thinking of you.

 

[cragmaid]

Another sad first....but a kind farewell to an old friend. x.

 

[Grannie G]

It was fine.

I only remembered the outside of the Crematorium, once inside it seemed different. Perhaps I didn`t take it all in with Dhiren.

I found the music made me more emotional than any words of the eulogy, even though it was spoken with kindness and affection by someone who had never met Lou.

There was a beautiful rendition of ` Ave Maria` on entering, `Time to say Goodbye` when reflecting and curtains closing to Abba, `I have a dream` the first song Lou and her husband danced to when they met.

Then came a feast of delicious food among many friends, most were strangers to each other. It is sad we didn`t meet each other when she was living.

There were no family members present. Lou had no children and was German, all her living family too old to travel.

I think it will be called a good send off.

 

[jeany123]

I'm pleased it went well and you were ok Sylvia xx


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[2jays]

Sounds like a good send off

Glad it didn't invoke any uncomfortable memories.

Now you have met these people.... Any possibility of meeting some again socially?

Hugs xx


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[Saffie]

The music would have had me in floods too. Emotional song choices.
I'm glad she had a wake afterward. The man whose funeral I attended, who had been a volunteer for a number of years with me, didn't have one or at least it wasn't mentioned at the service nor in the Order of Service even though his son organised it.

I wouldn't have attended but it seemed to be short-changing his father who had organised one for his wife the previous year and I'm sure would have liked one.
There was standing room only in the chapel too as it was the smaller of the two and I just don't think the son realised just how many people knew his father.
I thought it sad. x

 

[Grannie G]

I had a lovely fun afternoon at the Hard of Hearing Club.

We had a Wine Presentation .

We were offered three samples of white wine and after being shown how to taste it had to mark each out of ten and give each a single word characterisation.

I don`t drink and it all tasted like wine to me, so I, and another non drinker, tried very hard to describe what we were tasting.

It didn`t take long for the wine to go straight to my head and I developed a fit of the giggles . They lasted while I made and served the tea and biscuits , while I floated down Ramsgate High Street and just stopped in time for me to board the bus home.

 

[Soobee]

sounds like you had just the right amount!

 

[Saffie]

I'm glad you boarded the right bus Sylvia!
Goodness knows where you could have ended up.
I'm glad you had a good time. x

 

[Izzy]

Oh Sylvia!

 

[Grannie G]

Thanks Saffie and Izzy.

I slept well.

 

[Saffie]

I'm sure you did!

 

[Canadian Joanne]

Now that you've started drinking wine, Sylvia, you should drink one glass of red every day. For medicinal purposes only - red wine is good for the heart. Or you can drink champagne - it's just as good as red wine.

 

[Grannie G]

I`ve no intention of making a habit of any alcohol Joanne.

You know I have an addictive personality.

It`s always been sugar and nicotine. It took ages to crack a 40 year nicotine addiction and I have spent a lifetime trying to get rid of the sugar addiction. The last thing in the world I want is to become addicted to alcohol.

 

[Canadian Joanne]

I can't ever see you doing that. You don't find it enjoyable so I think you're safe.

I took 30 years to get rid of my nicotine addiction (and have every intention of taking it up again if I'm diagnosed with a terminal disease ). I haven't smoked in over 12 years now. The sugar and fat one (because I adore both) is hard wired in our genes so is much harder to control.

Funnily enough, I used to drink far more than I do now. I had two drinks at a birthday brunch on Saturday and that was the first time since the holidays. I find I drink when we go out or are entertaining. Even then I am so restrained. That's aging for you.

 

[Gooby]

A new stage I look forward to and wish for1

Before it was about Us . Now it will be about Me. Is that why some people find it so difficult to post here.

Grannie - Ive got to the stage where I wish for a new stage - either he dies or I do.

My daughter thinks I should divorce him and the upheaval of all that puts me off.
I am recovering from various operations. I am glad for you having got your
freedom back - at least you will be able to go to bed and relax and sleep, unlike me
who lies anxiously listening to the dragging footsteps and banging ....which is resumed early the next morning. He cat naps during the day but wakens up with more
accusations.

Enjoy the rest of your life - I envy your freedom. Gooby

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Gooby

I never wished for a new stage I just managed to live or exist with each day that passed.

I have to say not every day was dreadful. We had some nice meals out or walks to the seaside. It was just when my husband became frightened or frustrated or more confused than usual, I was the first port of call for his aggression.

What kept me going was the constant gratitude it wasn`t me with the dementia. However bad it was for me, it was worse for him.

I`m sorry you have such serious health issues of your own. I know so many people with dementia have no empathy with the illness of others so your husband is bound to seem heartless. I also know from the experiences of friends how debilitating chemo is so your situation is really serious.

Do you get any help at all? I suggest you contact the Admiral Nurses who are there specifically for carers.

https://www.dementiauk.org/how-we-help/admiral-nursing/