Not eating

[jorgieporgie]

Morning Everyone,
The next stage in dementia not liking any food I put in front of her. A few months ago my Mum was eating three good meals a day now doesn't like anything even her favourite food. Its really hard because she can eat on her own but throws it away or hides it. I'm getting concerned as she is only slim to start with. Anyone else at this stage.

 

[balloo]

Morning Everyone,
The next stage in dementia not liking any food I put in front of her. A few months ago my Mum was eating three good meals a day now doesn't like anything even her favourite food. Its really hard because she can eat on her own but throws it away or hides it. I'm getting concerned as she is only slim to start with. Anyone else at this stage.

my MIl started refusing food 7 weeks ago and is now bed bound i am afraid. just had district nurse they ordering a spiecal matress to protect against preassure sores.I would call in dr or nurse to check things out. and good luck.

 

[jorgieporgie]

my MIl started refusing food 7 weeks ago and is now bed bound i am afraid. just had district nurse they ordering a spiecal matress to protect against preassure sores.I would call in dr or nurse to check things out. and good luck.

Thank you Balloo. Was at Dr today as she as UTI again. It seems like all different stages are happening very quick, at present she is asking to go see her mam and dad and not sleeping through the night up every two hours. The eating thing could be the UTI but I don't think it is they seem to put everything down to infections. I will see how she goes after the course of anit-biotics. Sorry about your MI at least your getting a matress, they are really good, we had one for Mum after coming out of hospital as she got a bed sore. Hope everything goes ok.

 

[Middle child]

Same problem

Morning Everyone,
The next stage in dementia not liking any food I put in front of her. A few months ago my Mum was eating three good meals a day now doesn't like anything even her favourite food. Its really hard because she can eat on her own but throws it away or hides it. I'm getting concerned as she is only slim to start with. Anyone else at this stage.

I have just joined this forum trying to find answers to the many issues we are facing now. Mum has had dementia for years but dad has cared for her so well up until now that many people did not know. Dad is now terminally ill and we are trying to help them but it is so hard!!

She will not eat unless he does and he feels so unwell that he is hardly eating anything! She lies and tells us she's eaten when we know she hasn't! She gets so angry if we challenge her at all, screaming at us, it's heartbreaking!!

Dad is so proud, he does not want us to bring in outside help, we just do not know what to do for the best! We try to remain upbeat and not feel down but it's so desperately sad. How can we help them? What should we do?

 

[jorgieporgie]

I have just joined this forum trying to find answers to the many issues we are facing now. Mum has had dementia for years but dad has cared for her so well up until now that many people did not know. Dad is now terminally ill and we are trying to help them but it is so hard!!

She will not eat unless he does and he feels so unwell that he is hardly eating anything! She lies and tells us she's eaten when we know she hasn't! She gets so angry if we challenge her at all, screaming at us, it's heartbreaking!!

Dad is so proud, he does not want us to bring in outside help, we just do not know what to do for the best! We try to remain upbeat and not feel down but it's so desperately sad. How can we help them? What should we do?

Hi There. I'm new to the forum too.It is heart breaking watching them not eat and fade away. Would your mum go out for lunch with you pretend it is a treat or will she not go without dad. Since Mum doesn't want food I give her build up drinks at least it is something. Hope you find a way round it. Big Hugs xxxxx

 

[stanleypj]

UTIs can have all kinds of effects and it could easily be putting your mum off her food. I would try not to jump to conclusions. My wife had similar symptoms you describe in 2011 (in her case there wasn't even an infection it seemed). She lost a lot of weight and had terribly disturbed nights if she slept at all and had poor mobility. She was also paranoid and aggressive. With the help of a dietician I got her eating again (forget everything you ever heard about healthy eating and look for high calorie foods). She is still around, thankfully, and enjoying life as far as she can.

You're doing great with the fortified drinks - it's great that she will drink. Just keep experimenting with different foods. Whatever you do, don't give up.

 

[Shedrech]

Hi all
eating/not eating can be such a worry - and sometimes the carers worry carries over to the PWD, I found at times with dad it was best to not make a fuss and just leave things around, offer a meal but not push it, and be prepared to reheat when he was interested
just some ideas - sorry to make a list
- fortified drinks, milkshakes, smoothies, drinking yogurts, soups in a mug not bowl
- Horlicks, drinking chocolate, ovaltine
- porridge, redibrek, mushy Weetabix, semolina with jam/coulis, rice pudding, jelly, trifle, mousse, custard
- muesli bars and such left out to just take at will
- fruit cut up into manageable portions
- 'children's food' eg mashed banana sandwiches, all cut up small
- baked beans on toast and those types of 'old fashioned' tea-time meals
- mashed potato, mashed anything
- cream cakes, any cakes, biscuits, anything sweet
- very small portions on small plate - maybe even on a coloured plate, not plain white
- something small but often rather than a 'proper' meal

Hi Middle child - such a concern for you - it may be that your mum is forgetting what to do with cutlery etc and is covering by having your dad eat so she can copy him - is she OK if someone else eats with her? - maybe your dad could do some pretending, as with a child, so he has a small portion on his also small plate, cut up into small pieces so he can seem to eat a little though actually he's only acting it out - would your mum notice?

so hard for you if he won't accept home carers - any chance of telling him that they come free for everyone where the couple are both over a certain age or both have .... (something he might accept) - or to help you out as you feel unwell (my dad would do things for me when he wouldn't accept it for himself alone)

best wishes

 

[Risa]

With the help of a dietician I got her eating again (forget everything you ever heard about healthy eating and look for high calories foods)

I second Stanley's comment. It is well worth getting an appointment with a dietician; we learnt a lot of useful calorie info and tips from our one to help with weight gain that we wouldn't have thought of.

 

[Leswi]

Fortified food and drink

This might sound like an odd one but I have found Slimfast to be cheaper and more tasty that the regular fortified sachets such as Complan or Build Up. Two scoops can be added to milk drinks or puddings and you've got a good amount of vitamins, minerals and calories really easily. I blend tinned fruit with milk and Slimfast too for the fibre and fluid handy for those struggling with that side of things.

 

[deborahanne]

I'm having a similar problem with mum not eating but she refuses to drink ensure or any other drinks like that . anyone had success with 'finger foods' ? What suggestions would anyone have for a high calorie dinner replacement to a conventional meat and veg meal?

 

[Raquell]

Another odd one but my mum has lost her appetite and often refuses food but she will still eat a small portion of anything with a mature cheese in it, or grated on top. Not sure if this is just my mum or whether it will work for anyone else.