So bizarre !

Ann Mac

Registered User
Oct 17, 2013
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Morning all,

Thanks Essie - they are a bit OTT, but I enjoy playing with the editing and seeing what I can come up with, lol.

Lemony, when I worked in care, we had a lot of ladies who were really uncomfortable with being washed or recieving any personal care, and would respond like your Mum did :D Where we could, we would always get the client to 'do it for themselves' (if they would and if we had the time!) to try and minimise their objections, and I suppose I try and do the same with Mil. It would be so much quicker to wash her myself, but other than her bottom and the backs of her legs (which she can't reach because she has slightly limited movement in one shoulder after a fall, years ago), I get her to do everything else - even if it means me re-directing her to the same area over and over till its washed properly! I have her dressing gown ready to get on her as soon as poss, so she is undressed for the least amount of time, and I use the big wall mirror to keep an eye that she is washing properly, rather than staring at her obviously. Its so frustrating, when I honestly try and be respectful and understanding about how it must be difficult to have someone invade your privacy like that, that she then throws that sort of remark at me anyway :rolleyes:

Slugsta, so sad about the ladys' husband and how she is now the only one left :( I hope the children she helped look after will be there for her in the coming months, to help her through such a difficult time xxxx

I usually managed to get to where I had to go in the bad weather, but at the end of that week/10 days of bad snow, I was due to go out that night on a run which involved a particular village that was hell to get to and get around in, in bad weather. I had the radio on, tuned to a local station, and as the day went on the situation was just getting worse and worse, with all public transport cancelled and the police issuing orders that the village (plus a couple of others) were now so snow bound that they were describing attempting to drive there as being 'suicidal'. I contacted the police myself and was told in no uncertain terms NOT to attempt to get to the village, that it was 'impassable' as far as cars were concerned, so I called my bosses and told them. One boss told me to drive as 'near as I could then get out and ******* walk'. I refused - for minimum wage, no sick pay if injured and their attitude, I just didn't see why I should risk my neck trying to walk up and down hilly streets, over a 3 or 4 mile route, in tretcherous conditions - and they instead sent a new-ish member of staff, who actually lived in the village, to walk the route. She fell and ended up with a broken hip :( All the clients on the list lived (thankfully) with family, so none were left 'stuck' - but the poor staff was left unable to work and without a wage for about 3 months, I believe.

Mil again very tired and confused last night, but no asking to go home, just an almost half-hearted repeated set of questions about where the little girl (makes a change from the 'little lad') had gone. She once again seemed totally shattered and once again, OH reported that she was dripping in sweat when he collected her. I'm making sure lately that she is wearing really light tops to DC - I know like most homes, the heating tends to be kept quite high there - but even so, she seems to so often be excessively over heated most of the time when we pick her up. Tending still to blank me when I spoke to her, unless I said 'tea's ready' or 'would you like a drink?' - she responded fast enough then :rolleyes: No complaints of pain, but I did notice she was tending to favour one leg when she walked, limping slightly - I also noticed a new, quite nasty, bruise on one hand, and at bedtime, that was matched by a new bruise on her hip on the same side, so I am assuming she has had another stumble/fall in DC. The falls are becoming more frequent now and its impossible for her to be watched all the time, especially in DC which is a big place that she wanders all over. OH has saved her from a few falls over the last two weeks, especially when she gets up from the table, or when she tries to turn around as she is walking (its almost like her feet get 'tangled' when she tries to turn), and I managed to 'brace' her upright after she nearly fell in the bathroom a couple of days ago. Its getting to the stage where I suspect that it won't be long before the poor thing ends up with a broken bone or other serious injury as a result of a fall, and I have no idea how she - or us - would cope with that. I was watching her last night as she came back from the loo, and despite the fact that her weight seems to be stable, she is somehow looking very much frailer now :(

We also had her darn near choking last night at tea - Its a bit difficult because offers to cut up her food are rarely met with other than an 'I'm not a child, I can do it myself' and its only if she is struggling that she will accept help. I'm trying to accomodate that when I prepare her food, and last night thought we were safe with lamb chops - simply because she always picks them up with her fingers and bites the meat off them, so doesn't have to struggle with cutting meat. However, as she finished her meal last night, she suddenly started coughing, reached for her glass of water and spat a huge chunk of meat into it - left her still coughing and with eyes streaming, but otherwise OK - but I think that in future she is going to be served bite size pieces of meat only, as I'm not risking that again!

No issues with getting her to bed, in fact she was not only compliant, but actually thanked me for helping her :eek: And all quiet after.

Shirl is off out today, so the usual visit is cancelled. I did tell Mil this last night and her response was that she would 'go in the afternoon instead' (?) so I doubt she took in what I had said - not that she will remember today anyway! Youngest to theatre, otherwise, just the usual 'pootling' - even the shopping I needed was done yesterday, so hoping Mil behaves and we can have a relatively chilled day!

Hope you all have a good day xxxx
 

jugglingmum

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Jan 5, 2014
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Chester
Well - I seem to have not posted on here for over a week, thought I had.

Grace - I do hope your plan to visit MIL and sort our her phone worked, very cunning, Baldrick wouldn't have managed better.

Ann - glad you've had a few 'better' evenings. I've been wracking my brains to think of the buttock pain, I've had sciatica and it went down my buttock and into my leg, using hill walking sticks helped for the few weeks it lasted (late pregnancy). It could be muscular but once strained, needs rest to heal, just like a small child or dog, that isn't going to happen. Early morning stiffness - as she seems to comment on it mainly in the morning won't help I guess.

I like the fighter planes - tried to get son to ride there last Sat but he wanted to go to a favourite of his in the other direction where he really likes the food. Even the Beluga didn't sell it to him, but at 10 I think his obsession with that is waning, it has lasted 8 years.

I would have lost it several times over with the way she is ignoring you I suspect, although with my mum, now I know it is the dementia, I can manage to ignore things a lot more.

Redlou - looked up that colouring technique, I haven't got any grey to cover yet, but I used to be much fairer until early 30s, so don't like the darker colour that I am now, nor does OH. I keep thinking of a restyle but have always wanted something that can just dry naturally, however, after years of being straight , hair now goes a bit fluffy so really ought to be using straighteners on it.

Slugsta - the time your mum phoned is firmly in the middle of the night as far as I am concerned, I'm definitely a night owl, although seem to be trying to burn the candle at both ends some of this week, ironing before work and then up til gone midnight.
 

Rageddy Anne

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Feb 21, 2013
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Cotswolds
Lovely photos Ann; I think the dramatic skies emphasise the role of the aircraft.

Sorry to see MIL is becoming frail and has some problems with eating, as those things won't help her frame of mind.
 

Ann Mac

Registered User
Oct 17, 2013
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Morning all,

Lucky you, with no grey, JM - my mallen streak started to appear in my early 30's!

The ignoring annoys me more when she aims it at youngest, TBH. The other day, while she was being very off with me and only seeming to be acknowledging OH, she got up saying she needed a tissue. Youngest was by the table and held out the box to her, saying 'Here they are, Nana'. Mil didn't even look at her, just snatched a handful and turned away without even a 'Thank you', let alone any other acknowledgement - now that burns me :mad:

It was the dramatic skies - heavy rain cloiuds rolling out, blue rolling in - that prompted me to play like that with the editing, R-Anne :) Yep, the fraility is sad and the choking was worrying -poor Mil is definitely starting to get worse physically now, which brings the next set of challenges closer I guess :(

Mil didn't emerge from her room till 10.30 yesterday morning, after I'd dropped youngest at theatre - I'd gone out leaving both her and OH still sleeping, just locking the living room door as I left so that if she did get up, she could only get as far as the hall downstairs - and OH would have heard her, then. OH was still sleeping when she came down, and as she walked into the dining room it was straight into 'Has my Mum gone shopping?'. I tried to distract with offering breakfast, but she was completely fixed on her Mum and after a few minutes of fudging and trying not to get drawn in, I tried asking her to 'think about' what had happened to her Mum. 'Oh - she'd dead', she responded straight away. But within less than a minute she asked 'Did my Mum get that telly she was talking about?'. I brought out her porridge and as I put it down, she briefly left the subject of 'Mum', to ask was she not getting any toast? I told her it was in the toaster and she was then straight back into had her Mum phoned to say what time she was coming? Again, I asked her to 'think about it' and again she told me that her Mum was dead - no hesitation, but no upset either. She asked when her Mum had died and I explained it was over 50 years ago - Mil told me I was talking rubbish, because that would have meant her Mum dying before she (Mil) was born, because "I'm only 27 now, Ann!". I gently reminded he that she is nearly 75 and she said 'That's right - I forgot'. 2 minutes later, "Ann, did my Mum say where I was to meet her today?". I brought out her toast and before she had even taken a bite she was asking could I give her another two pieces as well, and then straight back into more questions about her Mum. I started to answer each question with 'She's passed away, I'm afraid, love' - and Mil would answer with 'Thats right', pause a minute or so, then ask about her Mum again. It was very odd.

One sort of funny incident - despite having shopped the day before, I'd forgotten coffee of all things, so early or not, I had a can of diet coke on the go. I walked out of the kitchen just as Mil had lifted the can and taken a swift gulp - catching her out made it go down 'the wrong way' and she snorted the mouthful everywhere. I asked her what on earth she was doing with my drink? Tears streaming, coke dribbling out of her mouth and her flipping nose, she informed me very haughtily that she was 'only sniffing the can!'.

She headed back up to bed after she had had her morning meds, but was back up with 45 minutes, wanting her breakfast again. Not particularly 'upset' over me saying No, but very sneakily asking OH (now up) for more food when I left the room. I got her washed and dressed, and though the questioning over her Mum had stopped, now it was repeated questions about me and OH. "Had we been together long? Who was my mother? Had we lived in this house long?" She was clearly mixed up, stating that OH was her brother at one stage - I reminded her he was her son. "Oh yes - and that makes you my Mother in law" was the reply. She also kept on and on about when did I move in to this house, and was clearly struggling with the reply that it was over 20 years ago, though she didn't say why.

Downstairs, and I left her to OH, whilst I went to the shops for coffee and more porridge (and came back with 4 bags of shopping - as you do :rolleyes: ). Whilst I was out, she had been going on and on about 'home', apparently , in the same manner that she had fixed on first her Mother, and then on OH and I whilst she was getting dressed.

And that was totally the theme of the day. Nothing distracted her, not films, not music - she simply moved from one fixation/delusion to another, and questions and comments about whatever the subject was at any given time just poured out of her in an almost constant stream, with our responses largely ignored and her just persisting in sticking to the same repeated questions, over and over and over. OH had bought two seats for Old Red - he finally had decided to replace the originals - and had to go and pick them up. For the two hours he was out, Mil was absolutely sure and certain that she had to prepare food for him. It was almost a non-stop drone as she asked "Shall I go and fry the potatoes now? Shall I turn the gas up under the potatoes? I'll just go and put the sausages in the pan. I'd better get S***'s tea on now. I'll just go and get the oil hot for the potatoes". She was still at it when OH got back, and I was now running thin on patience - its like the constant sound of a drill or a tap dripping, leave your head banging and your nerves frayed! As soon as he walked through the door - "I'll go and fry the potatoes now". After 10 minutes, without me explaining, OH had a very clear idea of what had been going on. He tried sitting next to her, making eye contact and firmly but gently explaining to her that she didn't need to worry, that Ann had sorted out the cooking. He explained that I'd made hotpot - her response was panic - she didn't have time to cook hotpot now!

After tea, it moved on to going home and for the first time, there was agitation and some quite nasty comments thrown at me - she had to go home, she said at one point - because Ann hated her and she wasn't safe here :( We stuck to 'Not discusing' and she eventually subsided, only to then start with she was 'going to bed' - and that's what we had pretty solidly from about 6.45/7pm till she went up at 9. And as she was leaving the front room, she started looking for the 'jumper' she said she had just finished knitting - and she went on and on about that, making getting her changed for bed a rather frustrating exercise as it was so hard to keep her on track with what she should be doing. 4 times she pulled her trousers down, only to stand up and pull them up again, having completely forgotten she was supposed to be taking them off. However, once in bed, that was it - peace and quiet for the rest of the night.

No plans for today - youngest and I want to nip out at some stage to stock up on the wild bird food (thats something we nearly always do together) - but other than that and sorting the usual Sunday roast, again hoping for a chilled day - God and Mother in Law willing, of course :rolleyes:

Hope you all manage to have a peaceful day xxxxx
 

Batsue

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Nov 4, 2014
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Scotland
Ann, I really do not know how you cope, it fries my brain when mum tells me the time or what the weather is every 2 minutes. Hoping you have a more peaceful day today.
 

RedLou

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Jul 30, 2014
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Happy Mother's Day, Ann. & to all of you -- mums/carers - similar responsibilities but one without the joy and anticipation.
--Hair looked great when I left the salon. Then settled rather oddly. I realised this morning it was reminding me of Hillary Clinton. :eek:
 

Onlyme

Registered User
Apr 5, 2010
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UK
Morning Ann. One of the reasons I follow your thread is because your MIL's has so many incidents that I have lived through with Mum.

Mum would ask for her father, be told to think about it, oh yes he is dead, hardly draw breath and ask was he visiting her today.

Mum would ignore anyone who didn't fit into her world. For days I could be someone she went to school with and seemed to have appeared to live rent free.

You may find that your MIL may wake up one morning unable to walk. You may not but it might be as well to prepare for the worse.

Have they said she has LBD or just mixed?
 

Spamar

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Oct 5, 2013
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Suffolk
Good morning, like JM, I don't seem to have posted for a while. Thought it time to let you know I'm still here and reading every day!
I found my first grey hair at 26, it's been downhill ever since. My streaks are white on my fair hair, so I just say it's sun-bleached! I used to work outside a lot, both for work and at home, gardening, so that was my excuse!
Have you sorted the paperwork now, JM? Mine is done! Yippee! Though I still have to do house to my name and land registry. Doesn't seem important at the moment, though!
Ann, hoping you have a good mil hassle-free Mothers Day today! Pix fantastic, btw.
Doing a first next week, going out for a meal in the evening, by myself! It's a Moroccan evening at one of the local cafes I frequent. She has these meals every month, so thought I might try. I have no objection to having coffee or light lunch by myself, but never seems right in the evening, somehow. Roll on 15th, will let you know how it goes!
Well, having spent nearly 2 hrs sitting here reading the paper and the iPad, maybe I feel fit enough for a shower now ( need painkillers to kick in so I can stand for the requisite amount of time!).

Have a good day one and all!
 

Ann Mac

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Oct 17, 2013
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reedysue, I was stuggling to cope yesterday. Some days the repetativeness just goes over my head, but other days it really gets to me - yesterday was one of those days, by late afternoon, I'm afraid :(

And Happy Mothers day to you and all other Mums and carers out there, Red xxx. I honestly forgot what day it was till youngest just came down and presented me with a card, some Lush goodies and some gorgeous scented candles.

Huge similarities between your Mum and Mil from what you write lemony - in the way you explain that your Mum ignores people who didn't fit into her world, that fits maybe with Mil ignoring youngest and me at times. And the ignoring facts that don't fit in with what she wants to believe, just almost agreeing for the sake of it, then blithely carrying on as if nothing has been said. I will bear in mind about the walking - as you say, you just don't know what is next! We've been told (now) LBD and parkinsons - however, come the next 'locum' and that could all change!

Mil has been up, initially calling me Mum, wanting food and drink. Whilst I was making her brekkie, she picked up the local free paper. The headline said 'Vicious yobs leave broken bottles on football pitch' - Mil tutted in disgust and read out to me 'Vicar's jobbies lead broken battles on football path . I wonder what she thought it meant? Did she understand the headline, and simply get the words wrong when she read it out loud? Or did what she read out somehow make sense to her?

Once she had eaten and had her meds, she decided to head back to bed, stopping on route to ask youngest about my son now being married (?). Hoping she will have another couple of hours sleep at least :)

Edited as crossed posts with Spamar :) Hope you enjoy the Morroccan evening - it sounds like fun :D xxxx
 
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Onlyme

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Apr 5, 2010
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UK
stopping on route to ask youngest about my son now being married (?). Hoping she will have another couple of hours sleep at least


I found Mum slipped generations so I became her aunt who grew up with her father or a cousin. It sounds like MIL is doing the same. in her head she is only 25 or so which could make your daughter and her siblings or brothers child.

There was only me (good user name :p) to visit Mum so I spent a lot of the time unpicking her confusion. I was lucky that we spent a lot of time in the past talking about relations so I could often pick up on her thoughts and run with it. Her poor carers didn't stand a chance.
 

Slugsta

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Aug 25, 2015
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South coast of England
It sounds like a rather mixed bag for you Ann, I hope you were spared more upset later.

Sorry to hear about the choking episode, it sounds scary! As you know, my Mum is not nearly as far down the path as your MIL and she doesn't have the chewing/swallowing issues that many people get with advanced dementia. However, the amount of food that she puts on the fork/spoon sometimes is nauseating, I have to look away. It would be no surprise if she had a choking episode as a result!

Spamar, I hope the Moroccan evening goes well. I can understand that going out on your own for dinner is a daunting prospect! I hate eating on my own in public. I'm nowhere near as big as I used to be, but I still imagine people looking at me and thinking 'Just look at what she's eating, no wonder she is so fat!' I Don't know why it is different when I am on my own - having company doesn't stop anyone else from thinking that (if they are not too busy thinking about themselves anyway).

We popped in to see Mum, gave her a card and some chocs but didn't stay long - she was clearly anxious to get back upstairs to her friend. Then we went to the station to pick up our son - which was supposed to be a 'surprise' visit, but I had sussed them out about 10 days ago :D We had a mexican lunch and then coffee and pud elsewhere before putting son back on the train to London. The plan had been to go to an ice-cream place, at my request, but it was packed, noisy and people queueing for tables, so we decided to save that for another time.
 

Ann Mac

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Oct 17, 2013
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Morning all,

The 'skipping generations' makes sense , Lemony. Its very rare, these days, that she has any idea that our kids are her grandchildren, and when OH isn't her husband, he is nearly always her brother - oddly though, she usually gets his name right, although none of her actual brothers had the same name as him. I know her brothers and her parents names, but the vast majority of her family (apart from us) live in Ireland, and though I've met a few of them, there are so many of 'em, that even OH struggles to pin point who is who! All her brothers were a good bit older than Mil, most had had several kids before she left Ireland (and she would have had a lot to do with them) but even so, in total, one brother had 9 sons, another had 10, plus a daughter - and the other brother had at least two or three households going, besides his actual wife and children, and I don't think even pre-dementia, Mil knew exactly how many nieces or nephews he had provided her with! So sorting out who she thinks we are is pretty much impossible at times :confused:

I'm as certain as I can be that the choking was purely down to the size of the piece of meat she had attempted to eat, Slugsta, not any issues with swallowing (I hope). Like your Mum, Mil does tend to put quite a large amount into her mouth, and she also tends to eat as quickly as she can, most of the time - you would swear she is worried that the food will be taken off her if she doesn't eat it quickly, and she bolts it down. I'm surprised, to be honest, that we don't have more episodes like that, purely down to the size of the mouthfuls and how quickly she tries to swallow them down!

The lunch out with your son sounds lovely, even if you did rumble the surprise :D OH cooked here, giving me a nice break, and my oldest two both phoned - they couldn't make it home again after the previous weekend, sadly, but that was OK - at least I have seen them recently :D Mil was amazed it was Mothers day, actually seemed very pleased with both the fancy china mug from the kids, and the new PJ's from OH and I - but had completely forgotten what day it was within a few minutes and made no further reference to it - in fact, serving her a cuppa in her new mug, a couple of hours later, I was treated to an account of what a pretty cup it is and how she had bought it herself, from Mold Market!

We had another very confused day, with non-stop fretting and rambling from Mil. A lot of 'home', a lot of confusion about who myself and OH are to her, and a lot of her talking about the 'other couple' she was adamant that she usually lives with, same names as OH and I, look like us and live in a house like ours, but at various times, Mil insisted that they were my in-laws (?) or her cousins nephew and niece(?). Lots of times during the day, the things she said were so convoluted and contradictory that you couldn't even pretend to understand her, and no chance of providing the answers she wanted as you had no chance of knowing what she was talking about. She started talking about a woman she knows, told me it was my sister in law, then contradicted herself, saying 'No, not sister in law - who would I be Ann, if I was married to your brother, but had a boyfriend behind his back and that man had a sister, what would that make him to your sister in law, it would be his mother, wouldn't it? Its her I'm talking about. Whats her name?'. I just couldn't unscramble it at all. She would pester OH to take her home, then the next minute would call me over to ask very pathetically if she couldn't stay 'just one more night, till I sort myself out'

Late afternoon, and she simply was unable to be quiet - couldn't distract her with TV or film or anything else - a constant stream of questions and queries, all very strange, a lot of hand wringing and tears. One minute she was asking about our daughter's 'parents', adamant that her Mum and Dad run a shoe shop (?), the next she was fretting about the blouse she said she had given me, that had £10 in the pocket. Repeatedly asking if OH and I were married and then asking why he had married me and not her, but no actual 'nasty' edge to it. Lots of 'But no one ever told me that you two were married/that I had a son/that I had grandchildren' type comments. I was under orders to 'put my feet up' for the day and enjoy my book, but I simply found myself reading the same page several times, as she just couldn't stop. OH tried to persuade her to go and have a sleep or a rest in her room (as much to give me some peace while he was cooking, as to try and give Mil some 'quiet' time to hopefully calm down the confusion) but she was up and down the stairs constantly. Not much outright nastiness towards me, a little bit of 'blanking' me, but a lot of whispering to OH , along the lines of 'Can you take me home now while Ann's not looking', or 'Get me a biscuit, but don't tell Ann' :rolleyes:

It was a really wearying day, especially late afternoon and evening with the constant jumping from one thing to another and never being quiet, but we didn't get any bad sundowning or 'tantrums', which makes a change for a Sunday, and again, once she was in bed, she stayed put - though I admit that 9 o'clock seemed to take an awful long time to arrive last night!

Not much on today, hopefully seeing my friend who is calling round for a cuppa and a chat this afternoon and just the usual 'house jobs' this morning. Hoping Mil's confusion has eased off this morning, so hard to get her washed and dressed as all she can focus on is the jumble in her head when she is like that - we are getting more and more of these totally confused and rambling periods now, where we have stretches of time where she doesn't make much sense - another downward step, I'm certain, rather than any infection, as they started several weeks ago and are gradually becomming more frequent :(

Hope you all have a good day xxxx
 

Essie

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Feb 11, 2015
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Ann, could the 'skipping generations' thing occur when Mil simply cannot process the concept of being a mother, it's just too much to take in and deal with, the idea that she is somebody's Mum? So, aware of some 'connection' but not able to grasp the Mum thing, she settles on relationships that are more of equals, brother and sister, boyfriend and girlfriend etc. where she is an adult (mostly) but not an old lady?

Sympathies on your day of 'motor-mouth-Mil' - exhausting for you all, I wonder if this is how she is when she is so hot and bothered at the end of the day at DC, constant chatter and, at DC, constantly motoring around looking for someone to ask all these questions of as they wouldn't be the captive audience you and OH are?

Spamar, you are being hugely brave, good luck and hope the meal is lovely.
 

Spamar

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Oct 5, 2013
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Suffolk
Thanks, Essie. I wouldn't put it like that, just that I have a life to live, with restrictions ( arthritis) and want to get out more! Not being able to walk has taken a good deal of pleasure away from what I thought retirement would be, so have to compromise!
 

Rageddy Anne

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Feb 21, 2013
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Cotswolds
Motor mouth syndrome...

Ann, your description of MIL's being unable to stop talking certainly rings bells with me. I usually have it practically all day and often through bedtime and beyond, but it's not so much non stop questions as non stop "thinking aloud" with questions thrown in for debate. He seems to enjoy finding things that I can't avoid contradicting, almost as though he wants to get into an argument. What I think he wants is to be having a two way conversation of some sort, doesn't matter what the subject is as long as he's in a conversation. If I ask him to be quiet just for a moment as I'm trying to think, he flies off the handle with remarks such as " well, I might as well go out and jump in front of a bus then, as nobody wants to talk to me. I might as well be invisible".

. I think that must be something that people with Dementia really do feel, especially when other people are talking to each other, and they can't keep up. My husband was having a lovely birthday on Friday with family visiting for tea, but he became unhappy when everyone was talking. Our teenage grand daughters speak very fast, and he can't follow anything they say. Nor can I sometimes! For him, he's overloaded, and feels frustrated.

Interestingly, I discovered this morning that he could keep up quite well watching on TV a Parliamentary Committee. Each person speaks clearly and in turn, with no interruptions and no bellowing.
 

Essie

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Feb 11, 2015
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Well I'm sticking with brave Spamar!

With regards to your arthritis I've just have a look at the Arthritis UK website and although they mention it they appear quite dismissive and negative about the role certain foods play in the condition but from personal experience I would say quite the opposite - the foods they list - the nightshade family group, are all ones that I (and many other people) never eat as they make me extremely ill (not arthritis, my reaction is more immediate than that) but my OH also avoids them as he was starting to have arthritis-like symptoms a few years ago but since cutting out these foods is completely fine now.

There is a lot of info on the Internet about nightshade intolerance, if you are really suffering with your arthritis you could do worse than check it out and try a nightshade-free diet (not the easiest thing though, tomato paste seems to be a ubiquitous ingredient in just about everything, I even found it in a cake recently!)
 

Spamar

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Oct 5, 2013
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Suffolk
Hi Essie, thanks for the comments.
I believe my arthritis is my mothers gift! She had a hip replacement when she was 54, practically unheard of in 1971. I did manage to last until I was 57 before my 2 joint replacements!
Interested about the solanaceae free diet. I don't actually eat much of those products. Potatoes, well, I've thrown away more than I've eaten recently, not over keen on tomatoes, do eat a few peppers in stir fries, rarely eat chillies, never eat aubergines. What I did notice that my arthritis got worse as OH progressed with dementia. However, although I did feel a bit better after he died, it didn't last long. Hoping time might heal a bit. Unfortunately it's in hands and feet amongst other places, so just can't walk very far - and I used to walk miles, both for pleasure with the dogs we had then, and work. I have lost 1 1/2 stone, but seem to have stuck. Tell myself it'll be easier in the better weather.

Rarely eat cake these days either, that's trying to lose weight for you. Also few processed foods either. Felt better after cutting down on them! I must say.

Glad something is working for you! The rheumatologist I saw recently tells me it's all osteo, though I was previously told I have some psoaritic as well. No rheumatoid, thankfully, though the markers increase a little with every blood test.
 
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Essie

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Feb 11, 2015
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I have lost 1 1/2 stone

Wow! That's so good Spamar, that will help with everything.

I agree about processed foods, we are all so much better without them, they are the curse of the modern age. I simply cannot eat them which in a way makes it easier as it isn't a case of 'oh, I shouldn't' simply 'I can't' but if I could I know I would sometimes, it takes a supreme effort, when you have the choice, not to succumb to the ease of ready meals and processed foods but health-wise we are so much better off without them.
 

RedLou

Registered User
Jul 30, 2014
1,161
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I met Marguerite Patten [food writer] once and she told me she had to be carried from her door to a car because of arthritis but once on 'the' diet, she regained mobility. When I met her she was very sprightly and made the best scones I've ever had! --She also told me how she rented a house in Lincolnshire during the war, and remembers counting out the planes on the night of the Dambusters Raid and counting the few back in. :-( Very evocative memory.But by the by - diet is definitely something to think about when it comes to arthritis.
Anyway, Spamar, -- you're an inspiration with your social bravery, not to mention weight loss. :) I regret to say I put on 7-8 pounds during the last year and must make an effort to lose it before our holiday.
 

Maymab

Registered User
Oct 8, 2013
214
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Staffs
Butting in on the Arthritis debate, I have recently undergone a hip replacement, and having done some reading on the subject, apparently grapefruit is to be avoided like the plague. Anybody else heard of that? I used to have half a pink one every day but never touch them now.

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