Hi, I'm Philippa and am pretty new to TP. Dad is 87 and has vascular dementia. I live nearby so Mum and I look after him together. He has deteriorated very rapidly since the New Year. I don't really understand why, although he has had a chest infection. He now has great difficulty walking, cannot wash himself or use the toilet unaided, has trouble speaking, eating, is asleep most of the time, extremely confused, occasionally 'seeing' things, does not know what time of day or night it is, makes strange moaning noises, etc etc.
As you can imagine, we are really worried about him. He has spoken about wanting to die.
I have two questions that someone may be able to help me with. The first problem is that my daughter (15 yrs old and fantastic with her Grandad) is going on several trips in the near future, from a weekend away to a ten day trip, and I don't know what to do if something should happen to Dad when she's away. Should I tell her? Phone the school trip leader and tell him? I don't want to do the wrong thing. I don't really want her to go away at all but I can't make her put everything on hold in case Dad dies. He could conceivably last for years (although realistically I don't think so).
The second question is, being new to all of this Mum and I have no idea how the system works. I think she needs some help, maybe just someone to pop in for an hour or so once a fortnight to keep an eye on Dad so Mum can go out. But how do we go about this? Is there an organisation that we could contact? So far, Dad has been to one memory clinic, had one visit from a mental health nurse, one from an occupational therapist and that's that. He's been waiting for another brain scan for over six months, still no appointment has been set and he's now far too frail to leave the house. Mum finds it difficult to ask for help but she is sorely in need of it at the moment.
I hope someone has some bright ideas!
Philippa
As you can imagine, we are really worried about him. He has spoken about wanting to die.
I have two questions that someone may be able to help me with. The first problem is that my daughter (15 yrs old and fantastic with her Grandad) is going on several trips in the near future, from a weekend away to a ten day trip, and I don't know what to do if something should happen to Dad when she's away. Should I tell her? Phone the school trip leader and tell him? I don't want to do the wrong thing. I don't really want her to go away at all but I can't make her put everything on hold in case Dad dies. He could conceivably last for years (although realistically I don't think so).
The second question is, being new to all of this Mum and I have no idea how the system works. I think she needs some help, maybe just someone to pop in for an hour or so once a fortnight to keep an eye on Dad so Mum can go out. But how do we go about this? Is there an organisation that we could contact? So far, Dad has been to one memory clinic, had one visit from a mental health nurse, one from an occupational therapist and that's that. He's been waiting for another brain scan for over six months, still no appointment has been set and he's now far too frail to leave the house. Mum finds it difficult to ask for help but she is sorely in need of it at the moment.
I hope someone has some bright ideas!
Philippa