Weakness

[chelsea girl]

Hi TP. I am a carer for my mum, diagnosed 8 yeras ago. Up til now we've managed but in the past week I've struggled big time! I keep crying and i feel like im failing my mum. Mum lives with us and goes to daycare 4 times a week but when shes here she scream and shouts all the time and i cant cope with it much longer. My husband rang the doctors tonite but shes away til monday. I feel like ive failed, feel so low. Cant see an end to all this at the moment. Its not my mum anymore and i feel so sad. Sorry to go on, just hope someone out there understands

 

[Bod]

You've not failed!
With what you've put up with anybody would feel the same.
Talk with her GP about her behaviour, her medication may need altering.

Bod

 

[Aisling]

Hi TP. I am a carer for my mum, diagnosed 8 yeras ago. Up til now we've managed but in the past week I've struggled big time! I keep crying and i feel like im failing my mum. Mum lives with us and goes to daycare 4 times a week but when shes here she scream and shouts all the time and i cant cope with it much longer. My husband rang the doctors tonite but shes away til monday. I feel like ive failed, feel so low. Cant see an end to all this at the moment. Its not my mum anymore and i feel so sad. Sorry to go on, just hope someone out there understands

You have not failed. Try not to think about that. It is more than difficult and at times almost impossible.

I my OH has Alyz. He is changing each day and I miss the husband I had. It is a devastating illness.

Talk to your Mum's doctor. You desperately need help.

Virtual hugs from Ireland

Aisling

 

[henfenywfach]

Hi TP. I am a carer for my mum, diagnosed 8 yeras ago. Up til now we've managed but in the past week I've struggled big time! I keep crying and i feel like im failing my mum. Mum lives with us and goes to daycare 4 times a week but when shes here she scream and shouts all the time and i cant cope with it much longer. My husband rang the doctors tonite but shes away til monday. I feel like ive failed, feel so low. Cant see an end to all this at the moment. Its not my mum anymore and i feel so sad. Sorry to go on, just hope someone out there understands

Hi

I too care for my dad. He has dementia. He has no idea that I'm actually his carer in the literal terms..I'm just someone that drives the car.

I was wondering whether your mum screams or shouts at daycare??..
I would imagine that if she thinks she's coming home to some strange place or going to a strange place (obviously I don't know her or how her disease affects her as an individual). Would she forget from one day to the next??

I guess what I'm trying to say is I know how hard it can be. I normally
Get the brunt of the not so nice side of things verbally....

Very often is that he's trying to communicate something..but mainly because I'm trying to help him.

Very often people with dementia can only communicate through their emotions which is the amygdala part of the brain...that's all they can do. So everything they see hear feel try and understand has to be processed through those emotion channels.

Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt us ..but I'm sure if you are struggling..emotionally she will feel it and might not be able to communicate it to you.

There are times where we just feel we ve reached the end of our tether...
Let's face it we have probably emotionally and physically dealt with more than any nurse Dr or everyday person. When they reach a point someone else fills in their shift
For carers no such regulations. Pretty much day shift night shift all in one. Even if only emotionally.

I hope that by now someone has helped you.
Would subtle music help??
Just remember you matter as well. .
And there's no shame in saying that.

Best wishes

 

[chelsea girl]

Thank you everyone. Feel at the end of my tether. Mums meds have been checked and i dont think she shouts at daycare cos theres always someone there ( i get up to go to the loo and she starts cos shes on her own) my doctor is on leave but is phoning me tuesday. Thanks for ur replies xx