Refusing to sign a Lasting POA

[Cathy62]

Mum is disabled and her alzheimers is worsening so we have had a lasting poa drawn up for her after discussing with her a few weeks ago who the attorneys would be etc. I today took it to her to get it signed but she was violently opposed to signing - accusing me of all sorts of things and ordering me from her house ! I didnt go but instead busied myself upstairs. There were tears ... from both of us ! Has anyone got any ideas how I could broach this subject again ? The doctor has discussed it with her and she was all for it but today shes denying shes even got dementia. I appreciate shes probably scared and uncertain but mum has always been very strong willed and I fear if she digs her feet in we'll get nowhere.

 

[Crunchy]

The professional you filled it in with when you discussed it with her should be there when she signs it, was it her GP? If she was reasonable and calm at that discussion, then maybe set up the same situation again, same people, same room? In my experience, often if people are with family members only, they feel free to be as unreasonable as they see fit at the time. But if a professional is around, they can be more compliant, if that doesn't sound too manipulative?

If you can reassure her that it's just a way of making sure you (attorneys) can carry on looking after her in the way you know she wants to be looked after, it may reassure her. Good luck x

 

[Witzend]

When my mother objected to signing hers, my brother just got very tough - sign or else. She got tearful and accused us of all being after her money, but afterwards it was soon forgotten, like everything else. We only did it after a cheque for a lot of money had gone missing and been cashed by Lord knows whom - though TBH she had not been capable of managing her affairs for quite a while.

I know this wouldn't work for everybody, though. Is there any other relative or family friend who might be able to persuade her?

Another alternative would be some blatant fibbing - 'Look, if you don't let me do this for you, then social services will take over your affairs and there will be nothing I can do. AND they will charge you a lot for it, whereas I will do it for nothing.'
Not nice, but sometimes it's a case of needs must...