Morning everyone,
What you have written about your Mum and the cataract op fit's Mil to a 'T', canary. When we were sat waiting to go in to the appointment, Mil was more than half convinced that it was me waiting for to see a doctor and repeatedly expressed surprise each time we reminded her what we were doing there. But once the consultant called us through, it was like a switch 'flicked', she was very on the ball (for her) when talking to him - but within less than 5 minutes of us driving away from the hospital, she had absolutely no recollection of where she had been or why.
I've looked up a little about the melatonin now, Slugsta - like Celia, considering the amount I found about it and the fact that I discovered that you can even buy it on-line, I'm a bit shocked to find that the Welsh government (or whoever it is who are responsible in Wales) have been so slow to grant it a licence. I checked with OH, though, in case I'd misheard, but this consultant definitely said that it isn't yet available on prescription here and confirmed that the consultant had said that it was because the cost of the drug is high and that's why its taken so long to be approved. If Mil wasn't on such a cocktail of meds, for her many other health complaints as well as the dementia, I might be tempted to just buy some - but although it seems that melatonin has been reported as having few side effects and as impacting on very few other meds, I don't know enough about medication to risk it.
And Slugsta, please remember you have just had surgery, and that no matter where your loved one is in the dementia journey, its all a massive learning curve for the carers and families, and its bound to feel over-whelming at times. Each little change and stage we all deal with is 'new' to us and it does batter you, both mentally and emotionally, Hun, so give yourself a break xxx
Sorry you are still struggling with this awful virus, JM - I'm trying so hard to take things easier here, as I do realise I'm not 100%. I'm feeling a lot more tired than usual, and still feeling a bit like I've been kicked by a mule at times. I hope you can find the energy to get the last lot of POA stuff sorted - simply because I guess you will feel a lot better when its all done. Mil's attitude towards the kids I always put down to the fact that she never wanted anything more in life than to be a 'Mum', but OH was the only successful pregnancy she had, with miscarriages either side of him being born, and I think that had a massive impact on her. She often told me that she had wanted at least four children (her brothers managed huge families, one has 11 kids!) and especially that she wanted a daughter. Oldest being a girl was her dream come true and she did become very obsessed about her, and the subsequent grandkids - I used to say to OH that she gave me the impression that she guenuinely believed that not even he and I loved the kids as much as she felt she did. And that she was always trying to 'prove' that by going over the top in buying the kids stuff, sometimes even behaving as though she was competing with OH and I, in terms of her 'spending' more than we did on birthday and Christmas presents, or buying the kids unacceptably expensive gifts when it wasn't even a special occasion. The first year especially, after oldest was born, there were a lot of rows. But between me, OH and my late Fil, she gradually seemed to realise that she had to back off, and after that it wasn't so bad most of the time. I think I looked at it as an annoying issue that would sometimes flare up, but it wasn't a massive thing that cause continual upset, thankfully.
I had to shake Mil awake yesterday morning! She was extremely sleepy and sluggish, took her quite a while to wake up properly. I'm assuming that's down to the initial impact of the increased orlanzapine. She struggled even more than usual with focusing on getting washed - not being awkward, just obviously having big problems in concentration. Better once she came down for brekkie, more alert, but complaining bitterly about pain in her bottom of all things! No redness, no bruising, the pain wasn't in the joints at the top of her legs, but actually on her bottom cheeks, she said and she had difficulty describing what sort of pain she meant. I gave her paracetamol, hoping it would help. When OH came down, she gave him his card (she had decided to give him money when I'd taked to her about it, jumping on that from the start - although OH doesn't know it, I did suggest several actual gifts she could give him, that I would sort for her, but she actually told me she '
couldn't be bothered, just give him a few pounds'!) but that, and saying a brief 'Happy Birthday' was the extent of her interest. She started on the kitchen loop, but wasn't too bad and I got her off to DC with no problems.
Then the phone went, and it was our son informing me that he had managed to finish the essay that he was due to hand in on Monday early, had already sent it in - and was heading down for an overnight visit for the birthdays
Lovely surprise. OH and I spent a couple of hours in town before picking him up from the station. When OH picked Mil up that evening, she walked in the house, and straight passed our son - absolutely no recognition of it being unusual for him to be there at all. OH said that DC had reported that she had been 'obsessed all day' with a delusion that one of her brothers had just died, very tearful and upset about it. 2 of her brothers died years ago, but the last one is still going fairly strong in Ireland. By the time she got home, it was back to her being upset that her husband had died, though that was interspersed with her asking me to take her to the hospital to visit him. We also had a brief bout of her wanting to go home to see to her 'baby', but it was only brief and I distracted her nicely with the 'Monkey Business' series I've recorded for her - never had her down as a particularly keen animal lover, but she seems fascinated by the apes and monkeys in that programme! Although she had been told that oldest was on her way home - later than expected as she had managed to get on the wrong flipping train at one point
- Mil wanted bed at her usual time, and went up with no problems. Once again, once she went up, that was it - no coming downstairs, no night time wanderings - so fingers crossed. However, she was still complaining about this mystery pain in her bum, but again - I checked and no sign of any injury or redness at all.
Usual Saturday here, youngest to theatre group, hopefully Mil to her friends. Son has to head back today, as he has another piece of work that he needs to start on, but oldest is here till tomorrow.
Hope you all have a good day xxxxx
