I've seen/ been told that before

[weeyin]

only second post and can't find how to search for topics so if this has been brought up before accept my apologies

we have an issue which has only started happening in the last couple of months and I would appreciate your thoughts on how to deal with it.

My wife has this issue about having seen, viewed or knows about things she cannot have seen, viewed or know about and sometimes gets quite stroppy about it. 'I know this so why are you bothering me with it again'. My suspicion is its some form of delayed memory like radio stations have a built in broadcast delay for any language issues. For example:

I can relate about a traffic accident that occurred in front of me during a journey home which I share when I arrive home and she tells me I've told her before or she knows about it. Our 7yrs old grandson can make a drawing or a Lego car and when he takes it to show her for the very first time immediately after finishing it he gets 'Oh you showed me that before'. I can ride with this normally OK but find that despite my best intentions when she has a stroppy reaction its very difficult not to react back. Anyone else experienced this situation and how did you work with it please?

 

[Beate]

The déjàvu thing: "we've been here before". No we haven't but what harm does it to agree? I used to get into endless discussions about this with OH when I still, stupidly, thought I could convince him of the truth. But I learnt not to sweat about it. He thinks we've been here before? Sure we have. Sorry to have forgotten! It's the compassionate thing to do and there's a great link here saying the same: http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/show...ionate-Communication-with-the-Memory-Impaired

 

[Scarlett123]

Hi weeyin, and welcome to TP. With the complexities of Alzheimer's, your wife does believe that things have been told, seen or related before. She is adamant about that, because to her, that's the truth. My husband was the same. To begin with, I was a stickler for pointing out his errors, in the mistaken belief that I was helping him ad he would improve.

Then I realised I was wasting my time correcting him, and distressing us both. So I agreed. With everything, even the umpteen affairs I was supposedly having. A murmured "sorry, you're right", takes up the minimum of breath, and causes no distress.

So when he shouted "how many more bl**dy times are you going to tell me that!!", I would murmur "sorry, you're right", and the subject would be dropped. You may, or may not, find that your wife will tell you of people she's seen, in your home, and again, it's easier to go into a room, and tell these invisible people to go, then report back to your wife that they've gone. Hope this helps.

 

[Batsue]

Same here, my mum has seen every new TV programme or film before (not)! Mum also thinks that she recognises people being interviewed that she had never met, it is very frustrating as she does not even recognise our neighbours.

 

[canary]

Same here, my mum has seen every new TV programme or film before (not)! Mum also thinks that she recognises people being interviewed that she had never met, it is very frustrating as she does not even recognise our neighbours.

Mum does that too. She sees people on the TV and says things like - "I used to go to school with him" - even the ones about 50 years younger than her! I just say something non-committal like Oh thats nice.

 

[Casbow]

I've seen/been told that before.

My husband knows eveyone and every dog that we pass when I am driving. It can be quite dangerous but I have learn' t just to say " Oh do you dear." Once he shouted "Stop I know them. Stop I want to talk to them." When I said I can't stop here he started to get so angry,that when I could turn round I did and we went back home. So now I always go along with what he says. Not only is it easier but he has forgotton in seconds. Not worth us carers getting in a state over. What I should have said in that situation was I'll stop round the corner. Oh well.!!!xxx

 

[Kjn]

My dad links everything back to his job. He was there over 35yrs, everyone, every tv prog , conversation , him wanting to go out (to a work meeting) revolves around that place . He didn't want to retire , he wanted to stay apart of his 'family' I feel .
It's difficult to deal with x

 

[Scarlett123]

This is the most wonderful thing about TP - so many of us can relate to a particular problem, and offer help. How I wish I had known about this place, or something similar, 10 years ago - my life would have been so much easier.

 

[Kjn]

Oh Scarlett xxxxxx

 

[Gwyneth]

I concur with so much of what has been described apart from hallucinations. So strange where this 'loop behaviour' comes from in the brain. Constant repetition of questions or observations. I often get asked who does someone remind you of, either in the street or on TV. No idea but my husband makes a connection constantly. The traffic is always busy on the roads, when it isn't really. It is tedious to the extreme but it is easier to try and brush it off by agreeing. Sometimes hard though when tired! We have to keep on finding reserves of patience! Gwyneth

 

[Kjn]

Constantly evolving to cope gwyneth x

 

[kennedy1948]

My husband does this too and I have learnt to just agree and move on. It's true as far as he is concerned and when I used to correct him he got very aggitated.

Sadly it's just another aspect of this heartbreaking disease.

Maggie

 

[rhubarbtree]

Gwyneth, the traffic is always busy on our roads as well. I reply "It's the school run". Have been known to use this at inappropriate times - nine at night - but seems to satisfy.

 

[Alicenutter]

Gwyneth, the traffic is always busy on our roads as well. I reply "It's the school run". Have been known to use this at inappropriate times - nine at night - but seems to satisfy.

Oh yes, the roads are always busy around our way too. The school run is a great idea!

 

[tigerqueen]

I am amazed at how many times we bump into the same people in my husband's mind. Everyone must look the same to him as he sees them wherever we are, shopping, on holiday, out for the day....... He calls them the "usual crowd". I just make some non committal answer like, "oh right" and carry on walking. Fortunately, he doesn't want to talk to them. Yet!!!!

 

[1mindy]

Yes we have this everyday. People he knows in the street he accosts them and says I know you don't I They then try and discuss where they have met until I intervene and say sorry we must go or we will miss his appointment. Leaving behind the very bemsed random person. They must work it out surely ! He's read all the news anyone has ! He recognises dogs,cats ,children we pass in the car. I He says to me " you know them" I always say I don't as if I do he then asks me all sorts of questions about them. I just say his memory must be better than mine.

 

[weeyin]

Original Poster

You guys who have responded are brilliant. Everything you said or advised is obvious but needed saying out loud so to speak so it sinks in better. You are like an imaginary friend who drops by for a bit of a natter and provides solutions to all the issues that are stressing me. This is the proof for 'A trouble shared is a trouble halved'...........
Thanks for dropping in. It helped. ....a lot

 

[Alicenutter]

[QUOrTE=weeyin;1239261]You guys who have responded are brilliant. Everything you said or advised is obvious but needed saying out loud so to speak so it sinks in better. You are like an imaginary friend who drops by for a bit of a natter and provides solutions to all the issues that are stressing me. This is the proof for 'A trouble shared is a trouble halved'...........
Thanks for dropping in. It helped. ....a lot[/QUOTE]

Ain't that so! I am picking up so many tips here, and it is wonderful not to feel so lonely.

 

[Scarlett123]

You guys who have responded are brilliant. Everything you said or advised is obvious but needed saying out loud so to speak so it sinks in better. You are like an imaginary friend who drops by for a bit of a natter and provides solutions to all the issues that are stressing me. This is the proof for 'A trouble shared is a trouble halved'...........
Thanks for dropping in. It helped. ....a lot

And that's exactly what we are. We're your cyber friends, we have so much in common and there's always someone available o talk to.

 

[Jean1234]

Same here, my mum has seen every new TV programme or film before (not)! Mum also thinks that she recognises people being interviewed that she had never met, it is very frustrating as she does not even recognise our neighbours.

Oh yes! I hadn't made the connection but my OH is constantly telling me that programmes on TV are repeats when they are not. I have been telling him they are just new series or episodes but it must be the same thing. Although everyone is affected differently by dementia isn't it odd that so many odd behaviours are common with us on TP.