Having a accidents.......

[keegan2]

Things have been fairly calm at home since other half has been on the halidperidol, however my terrible cold over the last 3 weeks has got me down (on the road to recovery thankfully.) However over the last 2 days other half has been wetting himself, firstly it was due to me being laszy and following him making sure he got to the toilet, then paying the price of having to clear up after. Last night took him into oilet light on showed him the loo and left him to his devices, again another accident (it may be because the toilet seat was ddown) anyway clean up and bath and back to bed, if I had been poorly don't know what I would have done. Anayway this morning he is refusing to go toilet I know he is embrassed about what has been happening but I don't want him having a phobia of the loo. He has been more confused about where the toilet is but never had any problems how to use it. Any idea I now its early days and could just a glitch but I would rather try and sort before it gets out of control.........

 

[fizzie]

Do you have an admiral nurse in your area, might be helpful
Admiral Nursing Direct on 0800 888 6678 FREE or email direct@dementiauk.org

or the local continence service through your Trust might be of use.

I know that some people have changed the toilet seat to a coloured one to make the distinction much more obvious - apparently red is the colour that is most helpful!!

I agree that it is best to try to take away the anxiety before it becomes impossible

I'm sorry i can't help more x

 

[canary]

How about buying some pull ups "just in case"?
A response from the continence clinic can take a few weeks

 

[Shedrech]

Hi keegan2
with dad I made as little fuss as possible and just treated his accidents as though it was something 'normal' and just got on with tidying him up with some fairly neutral things said and he seemed to relax because I wasn't in any way concerned (but I guess this is exactly what you did) - however the dynamics may be different between partners
I did start to suggest toilet visits a bit more regularly - and made a point of telling him when I was going just so he knew it was something to do often in the day - again, if your other half is feeling embarrassed maybe this would back fire
dad did see his GP at one point and was put on a pill that certainly seemed to help (sorry can't remember what it was) but when his other meds changed it didn't mix well with them so had to be stopped - however he was still more continent for a while afterwards - so would be worth a chat with your OH's GP
would he get the hint if you just left some pads or pull-ups in sight, so it's his decision to try them? maybe have some for you too, saying they're for just in case as your cold has got to you and/or women do find them useful on long shopping trips - just so he doesn't feel alone in this?

 

[keegan2]

Been a couple of days now and things with the toileting no better actually I think other half now has a phobia about going. I have been going with him in toilet at night which has helped in that last night wanted to stand and do the business no where near toilet good job the empty plant pot was at hand to catch everything. This morning wanted to go in by himself so I put light on stood him over toilet and closed door, as you can imagine he did not pull trousers down and the urine all over the floor. I did not mind so much as I cleaned up the mess and he happily went into the shower and put clean clothes on. Now he is hardly drinking any fluids and although he says wants to go toilet he goes in and back out I am just waiting for the accident to happen, trying not to make a big deal about it however its as if he does not know he has to sit on the toilet or that his trousers need to come down. As much as I being patient nothing seems to be getting through to him. I don't want him to start thinking this is normal behaviour or have we turned another bad corner.......the haloperidel medication has really sedated even though we are on such a low dose. Was talking with my boys last night at the possibility of asking doctor to stop this medication and see where we are with his alzhemiers as much as don't want to go back to where we were 2 months ago this shell off a man who is shuffling around is also unbearable to see. Any advice........

 

[fizzie]

I still think you should check out a urine infection although you are probably right that he is becoming fearful. I also think you need help from someone experienced like the continence service

 

[tre]

With my husband I think it began as a problem of locating the toilet when standing up. I suggested to him it might be easier if he sat on the loo, even just to do a wee. This seemed to work for a while, but later on he got to the stage where he needed help to take down his trousers and get in position on the loo. By this stage he was managing better with trousers he could pull up rather than button but this meant I could leave him to it once he was in position and he could then sort himself out. This bought us another year or so but then he stopped asking to go to the toilet and had a couple of accidents. Luckily he did not seem aware of what had happened or distressed by it and the accidents happened at home. We managed another six months or so accident free by my prompting him to use the loo about four times a day.
Tre

 

[keegan2]

With my husband I think it began as a problem of locating the toilet when standing up. I suggested to him it might be easier if he sat on the loo, even just to do a wee. This seemed to work for a while, but later on he got to the stage where he needed help to take down his trousers and get in position on the loo. By this stage he was managing better with trousers he could pull up rather than button but this meant I could leave him to it once he was in position and he could then sort himself out. This bought us another year or so but then he stopped asking to go to the toilet and had a couple of accidents. Luckily he did not seem aware of what had happened or distressed by it and the accidents happened at home. We managed another six months or so accident free by my prompting him to use the loo about four times a day.
Tre

Thanks for suggestion. Other half always sits when he goes wee. I have managed to get him in toilet trousers down but then he becomes so anxious about sitting he pulls trousers back up and refuses to go. I have even tried coaxing him to go in a pot. I am trying not to ask him if he wants to go hoping its not becoming an issue, whereas before I would ask him every so often and he would go. The biggest problem is he probably has not got enough fluid in him to want him have the urge which will become a major problem.......Who do I ring this problem.......