Hi Realist1234,
How coincidental that you should post this today - this morning I took my Mil to a pre-op appointment at the local hospital, as she has been on the waiting list for cataract surgery for 10 months.
She has AZ and VaD, and has declined a lot over the last 10 months, sadly. She is unable to remember any reassurances about hospital visits, and gets very stressed and anxious when we go, and has also developed a pretty bad tremor, in her right hand/arm in particular, which is worse when she is stressed. And the thought of anything being 'done' to her when she is actually awake, is something that has always scared her. (In fact, she is anxious at the thought of any operation or treatment, whether awake or asleep, to be honest). Like your Mum, her short term memory is really bad, she can forget information literally within moments of being told something - and is likely to get very worked up during any examination, never mind an actual operation.
The upshot of today is that the surgery under local anaesthetic is a non-starter, as far as the hospital are concerned. She would have to keep completely still, and as she can (and does) find the tremor gets a lot worse when she is stressed, that is an issue for a start. She can get very agitated, and behave very irrationally - the chances of that happening during the procedure are more than average, I would say, if she were awake
So - she is to see an anaethetist, for another pre-op visit, and we will have to take his views on board, before any decision as to whether or not the surgery can go ahead with a general anaesthetic. She has COPD and angina, so there are issues there to start. And the Doctor today confirmed the possibility of the dementia being made much worse by a general anaesthetic.
Add to that, post op care - the eye drops afterwards, I can administer, so that's not an issue, but its likely she will continually forget that she has had any procedure done, and is likely to rub at her eyes if they are sore or irritated - she just won't remember not too.
I honestly don't think that it will go ahead - I know hubs and I are not in favour of anything that is likely to cause her dementia to get worse, the decline is heartbreaking enough at its current speed, so that alone makes us reluctant. And I do think the chances of her doing herself some damage by rubbing at her eyes afterwards are really hight - more of a certainty than a probability, I'm afraid.
I think you need to list all your concerns, take on board any advice from the surgeons/doctors involved, and then decide - and consider post op, not just the actual surgery too.
Good luck x