Should I tell people or not?

[peachstone]

When my FiL was diagnosed he just told people to bear with him as he has 'memory problems' and that worked okay. MiL told close family, though, as we'd all noticed the changes.

Having people complete your sentences must be incredibly vexing. I'd be inclined to ask folks to let me do it for myself whilst I still could.

 

[aprilbday]

Peachstone-thanks. I do feel helpless when someone completes my sentences-aka my sister- but now I've learned to just keep quiet.

 

[Curlie75]

Cutlie75

Telling people can be tricky. My husband, John, was diagnosed with vasc.dementia end of last year. Close family have always realised changes had occurred for and with him, so they were not surprised by the scan results. But - I have felt very uncertain about telling the world at large... and where I have done, only a few know. This has not always worked out as intended - because the main response is these few people find it "hard to believe" and sometimes have suggested I am perhaps imagining it. Then I become upset and especially since we've been married for nearly 54 years. One person decided to tell me her views - having met us only five or six months ago. As a result, I have distanced myself - when meeting someone who does understand this is such a relief. I am anxious about whether to tell other people, but I am also anxious, if not angry and hurt, about the outcome if disbelieved. Has anyone else had this experience?

 

[BR_ANA]

Telling people can be tricky. My husband, John, was diagnosed with vasc.dementia end of last year. Close family have always realised changes had occurred for and with him, so they were not surprised by the scan results. But - I have felt very uncertain about telling the world at large... and where I have done, only a few know. This has not always worked out as intended - because the main response is these few people find it "hard to believe" and sometimes have suggested I am perhaps imagining it. Then I become upset and especially since we've been married for nearly 54 years. One person decided to tell me her views - having met us only five or six months ago. As a result, I have distanced myself - when meeting someone who does understand this is such a relief. I am anxious about whether to tell other people, but I am also anxious, if not angry and hurt, about the outcome if disbelieved. Has anyone else had this experience?

Hi curlie and welcome to TP. I talk about my mum diagnosis to some gossipers on our neighbourhood. It helped with care. I mean a salesclerk used to told me if mum was walking with too much money visible on her purse. A shop owner used to inform me if she stole something instead of calling police. Neighbour stopped complaining about small stuff.

Some people on TP make a card saying that someone has dementia. So if some stranger are offended, the career just give the card.

I got your point. Some people has no idea of what dementia are and brag that they know better than a spouse.

However sometimes I was surprised that some strangers knew dementia better than me (they have cared to someone and I just didn't know about).

All I can say as advice is trust your instinct.