Need some advice

[Slugsta]

2Js, I'm sorry that you have this extra worry

I'm assuming that nothing has changed much regarding mum's health in the past 2 weeks since the meeting? That's the only thing I can see that would trigger this change of heart. In the absence of that, I don't blame you for smelling a large rodent!

It sounds as if the CH representative and assessor were in cahoots to get a 'no' decision. Or is it more that the assessor was always going to want to say no and the CH person made this easy?

I do think the suggestion of speaking to the SW is a good one, s/he might have some idea of what is going on.

One final thought - is it likely that mum will need a move elsewhere at some stage? In which case you might have little to lose by making the move now.

I really hope you are sleeping soundly and don't see this til morning!

 

[2jays]

Slugsta I've seen it

Sleep?




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[Ash148]

Slugsta I've seen it

Sleep?




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Sleep sounds good

 

[Saffie]

Nursing home costs vary from region to region 2jays, so it may not be that much as not in the south. However, a nursing home will not necessarily mean 1 to 1 either. I certainly saw no sign of it in Dave's NH nor have noticed it on other threads here. So the wandering issue and risk of falls will remain.

I'm pretty sure neither you nor your family are even considering inheritance issues and your frustration with your SIL is more likely to be from his lack of understanding of what the reality of having your mother home and with carers would be!
Also of not being aware of all that you went through when this was in fact happening!
If I'm wrong and Kevin's viewpoint is correct then I apologise.
It's just that I see it as probably more of a support and understanding issue for the family rather than a financial one.

I agree about contacting the SW. It can do no harm and you'd maybe some idea of what would happen if and when they might become involved. The SS won't be keen for your mother's capital to reduce too quickly.

I hope you managed to sleep. Big hug. xxx

 

[LYN T]

Dear 2jays,

More worries/problems for you This is just my opinion but I would contact the CHC people, state you have no paper work from the meeting and drop in what the CH have said. It is possible that if your Mum's case hasn't had a decision yet the 1 to 1 suggestion may add a few points. Once Pete was awarded CHC they funded 4 hours of 1 to 1 for him as he had a high risk of falls (but it was also for management of behaviour problems). This helped the CH no end. Pete was in an ordinary CH and it already had a good ratio of Carer/resident -one carer to three residents.

Don't know what else to suggest 2jays. I do think your Mum has been treated rather shabbily and the £ signs are showing in the CH owners eyes

Much love

Lyn T XX

 

[2jays]

Thank you all for your thoughts and support. Really appreciate everyone's input.

Lots to think about

I finally got to bed at about 3am and after a restless night, buried my head under the covers at about 6.30am and slept

Saffie I think you have a really good insight into the situation and my "issues"

If it wasn't for the falling and her need for some 1:1 during the night, which has been going on for a while now, hence the care home starting the application for CHC, there wouldn't be an issue

I'm of a stronger mind to call their bluff

I'm still debating with myself whether to call the social worker and/or CHC assessor

My trust in the care home and their "care" towards me has been rocked. But I must keep in mind that the care towards mum, from the house carers, it's still very good.

Would like to be a person who is not a responsible type of person.
I need to not react too quickly and try to problem solve, before the real problem shows what it is - if that make sense.




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[angelface]

So sorry to hear about your mums problems 2Jays.

If I were in your position, I would contact the social worker to ask her advice,and also ask for a review of the CHC.

Does your local hospital have a Falls clinic? They would be able to help,that is if you have the strength for your mum to go to the hospital.

My aunt also had the falling problem,but the staff were adamant they could not catch her when she fell,in case they were injured themselves. It maybe the home is just not able to meet mums needs now.

When auntie got to that stage, the home wanted to keep her as she was self funded snd a good payer. I really felt she was being neglected, and had an awful job moving her to a nursing home where they could manage.

I do so hope things improve for you. Even just a little would help, wouldn't it.

 

[Izzy]

Hi 2Jays. Sorry I haven't posted much but what you're facing is outside my experience. Thinking of you though. x

 

[2jays]

Thank you all

I have made a decision

Mum has been, and still is, very well cared for at her care home. She can still respond to staff, even though she used to eventually respond to me, she hasn't done so the last two times I have been. I feel confident with this care home and that the carers, they love and really care personally for mum

She is content, feels safe, and at home

I am going to have a meeting with the care home manager soon with regard to the 1:1.

I've been advised the figure would be 12.50 per hour, initially for 5 hours during the night.

This is something that needs to be discussed I know, but I've come to the thinking that money isn't important. What's important is mums well being and mine.

I could move mum, if I could find somewhere, cause no end of distress for mum and myself, but I don't think it's in her best interests to move her, let alone mine.






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[jugglingmum]

Well done on making a decision.

I hate being the only one to take the decision (choclate teapot brother and it's your mum from OH).

Moving homes would have taken up a lot of your time to initiate and would have then been a period of distress once completed which would have been traumatic for you.

Squishy hugs and plenty of grape juice tonight

 

[Lindy50]

Hi 2jays

Have only just seen this thread, but have read it carefully, and I have to say I think your decision is a good one. Real, personal care for your mum from people who know her, has to be the priority. If the home genuinely can't manage without 1:1 funding after a while, then you can always apply again for CHC if it's needed.

So sorry you've had such a worrying time. Thinking of you and sending you big (((hugs)))

Lindy xxx

 

[2jays]

Had to laugh

I was told 1:1 doesn't come under CHC when I questioned if I could reapply

I shall ski on mums behalf..... That's what I'm a POA for isn't it

Thank you for your confidence in me xx




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[nitram]

"I was told 1:1 doesn't come under CHC when I questioned if I could reapply"

1:1 in itself does not feature but if a person is granted CHC and a care plan including 1:1 is agreed the 1:1 has to be provided.

 

[2jays]

"I was told 1:1 doesn't come under CHC when I questioned if I could reapply"

1:1 in itself does not feature but if a person is granted CHC and a care plan including 1:1 is agreed the 1:1 has to be provided.

Thanks nitram xx

I was questioning care home carer why suddenly mum needs had changed from 2 weeks ago when apparently she "wasn't a problem" for falls, when we all knew she was, when this carer was asked at the CHC meeting..... Lead balloon comes to mind with their silence.....

A farce isn't it haven't got the fight. Thankfully mum has the money.... Or should that be sadly....




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[nitram]

It could only have made a difference if a danger of falls had upped mobility to severe and this regrading would have meant that CHC was awarded.

The sad thing is that your mum has the money and this should have lead to you being able to choose the best home for her without any hassle with the authorities. The complete botch of the CHC process has introduced unnecessary hassle.

 

[2jays]

It's was already at severe, the falls issue, but was, in my opinion, played down by the care home at the meeting.....

That's what puddles me orf and makes me see red......

The care is excellent. The politics are ****

[* insert dirty word of your choice]




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[geum123]

My experience was the same as yours 2jays.
The nurse assessor was horrendously frightening.
A bully.
There was no discussion allowed. and the nurses comments were discounted.
What she said went.

Initially I believed what she said, as I thought she knew best.
Certainly no good for the blood pressure. xxx

 

[Saffie]

Somebody who cannot walk, or even lean forward whilst sitting, apparantly has only moderate mobility problems!

 

[2jays]

Somebody who cannot walk, or even lean forward whilst sitting, apparantly has only moderate mobility problems!

I thought of you and your situation when I was told mum was not severe.... xxxxxx


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[nita]

I don't understand how the falls issue could have been overlooked at the CHC funding meeting. Was the CH manager asked to produce their daily log to note how many times and at what times your Mum had fallen? Surely that would justify marking the domain as "severe"?

You must get on to the CCG who carried out the assessment and ask for a copy of the DST so that you can see what was reported and what the nurse assessor noted. Then you have a chance to dispute it. But I think you might be worried that the home will not supply 1:1 under CHC although they will if you pay the top up? As nitram says, if CHC is granted for 1:1 there should not be a problem as they should pay for the whole night if she is in danger throughout the night. My priority would be your mother's welfare and the risk of her having broken bones from the falls, which could lead to her needing more nursing care in any case. This is the point that needs to be emphasised with the CCG.