My lovely father has died

Amanda1954

Registered User
Nov 5, 2006
68
0
Leicester
Dear Fiona

I've not posted often on this board so don't know you or your "story". But I just wanted to say how sorry I was to read of your bereavement. My sympathies to you and your mum and I will remember you in my prayers tonight.

Love, Amanda
 

sue38

Registered User
Mar 6, 2007
10,849
0
55
Wigan, Lancs
Dear Fiona,

I was so sorry to hear of the loss of your Dad. It does sound as if he was peaceful at the end and that in the last few weeks you have been a great comfort to him. I hope you can find some comfort for yourself in that.

My condolences to you and your family.
 

Grommit

Registered User
Apr 26, 2006
2,127
0
Doncaster
Devastated to hear the news Fifi.

I send you my deepest sympathy and regards.

So often have you cheered up my life with your posts and I would like you to know that my thoughts are with you at this time.
 

fearful fiona

Registered User
Apr 19, 2007
723
0
77
London
Dear Everyone

Thank you for such lovely messages of support, I treasure them all.

Thank you also for advice re my Mum, my brother and I both feel it would be better not to tell her, but the psychiatrist has felt that we should tell her at the right time and when she is in a calm frame of mind, whenever that may be. I think that maybe brother and I will ignore the professional advice on this occasion.

It is all a bit frantic at the moment, but I hope to be back on TP soon, providing support to other members instead of me taking it all the time.

Love to all.
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
0
london
So sad , so sorry to read about your father passing away .

I think that maybe brother and I will ignore the professional advice on this occasion.

At the end of the day its you and your brother who knows what the best way of telling your mother or not. you both know your mother better then any professional .

Take care love from Maggie xx
 

Nell

Registered User
Aug 9, 2005
1,170
0
72
Australia
Dear Fiona,
I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. I'm glad for you that you were with him. He is now at peace and free from pain, so remember this when you are feeling bad.

You and your brother are the best people to decide about your Mum. I see no point in telling her if it will just cause distress. But if you feel she needs to know, then it will be right to tell her.

Sending you caring thoughts and deepest sympathy.
 

mel

Registered User
Apr 30, 2006
1,656
0
66
Sheffield
Dear Fifi

I am so sorry to hear about your dad....I am so pleased that you were there with him though.

When my dad died 3 years ago my brother and I agonised over telling mum.....nearly 24 hours after his death my brother took mum to one side and told her....we had no reason to have worried....there was distress but within 5 minutes she had forgotten.....that is the only thing i am grateful of dementia for....mum was truly spared the horror of dads death.
Yes she asked after him each succeeding day and eventually, after perhaps handling this badly by telling her he'd died....we simply said he'd gone out for the day.....she was much happier with this explanation.

Love xx
 

BettyL

Registered User
Jan 20, 2008
60
0
Essex
I've only just read your sad news Fiona. I'm really sorry - what a fabulous daughter your dad had though. God bless

Betty
 

TinaT

Registered User
Sep 27, 2006
7,097
0
Costa Blanca Spain
My thoughts are with you during this very difficult and hard time you are having.

Only you can decide when, or if, to tell your mum. My daughter in law died last year at the age of 34 and it was a terrible time of grief for all the family. I did tell my husband as, at that time, he was able to come to the funeral and my son wanted him there. For many, many weeks he asked about our daughter in law and I had to remind him that she had died. Each time he suffered the grief anew as he hadn't remembered and the news was such a shock each time for him. Eventually he 'forgot' to ask about her and hasn't mentioned her for many months.

xxTinaT
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
0
SW Scotland
It is all a bit frantic at the moment, but I hope to be back on TP soon, providing support to other members instead of me taking it all the time.

Fifi, love, you've never been a 'taker'. :)

You've given so much to this forum, and I certainly look forward to welcoming you back, whenever you feel able.

Love and best wishes,