Just venting/Dysfunctional Family Falling Apart

[JackieJames]

I care for my mother and am her youngest son of 3, my 2 brothers have offered no help at all and for the past 5 years iv had to care for my mother with Alzheimer's. Iv had to reduce my hours in work down to practically zero give up all social events including family weddings while my brothers lives haven't changed one bit. In fact one brother who only lives a mile away hasn't visited our mother for 18months. Both know how much how it's affected my life and just don't care. I find it all just unbelievable. I hope your brother does the right thing it's too late for my brothers though cus it's past the point now where our mother would recognise them.

I am so sorry to hear this. You are right. IT IS JUST UNBELIEVABLE! I hope he does the right thing but if he does not, I guess it will be loans now. Does this brother who lives one mile not visit her in 18 months? why? Is he ill? Is there a valid reason?
I am so sorry for the situation you are in, but at least you know that you are there for her. Blessings to you and to all who do this. I am just so sorry it is this way. There must be more people out there in these circumstances.

 

[Amy in the US]

Jackie, it's okay to use this site to vent, it's here for that, as well as other things. But I do hear what you're saying.

There is a similar site attached to the US Alzheimer's Association website, with mostly Americans, as you might guess. That might be a source of support and information for you.

Absolutely call the Alzheimer's helpline and see what support and help you can get for you. I have tried a number of support groups and caregiver groups in my area and found a couple that work for me and my schedule. You might find that a place to start, but I bet they will have suggestions. Some are at nursing homes, hospitals, community agencies, but the local chapter of the Alzheimer's Association should have a comprehensive list. The area agency on aging may run one also.

If you're wanting someone to talk to, one-on-one, then maybe a social worker, therapist, counselor, psychologist, or clergy person? You could see what agencies are in your area that might offer something, like Jewish Family Services, Lutheran Social Services, or Catholic Family Services. You don't have to have affiliation or church/religious membership, to access them. There may be other nonprofit or community groups in your area. It can take some digging and persistence and patience but there is usually something out there.

Wishing you all the best.