Hello Bugs
My husband was exactly the same when he first went into care. I too couldn't look after him due to safety reasons. He was admitted 3 years ago and had a lot of lucid moments when I thought I had done the wrong thing in placing him there - he had Lewy Body Dementia and Parkinson's - he fluctuated between good and bad days - I was the evil person who put him there - I had the house he had nothing - I could do what I wanted he couldn't and so it went on. I have come away from him on lots of occasions in tears- but I still went back to visit. On bad days I would just say that I would come back another day as he wasn't having a good day. It was hard to go but it helped me and him as it stopped him getting more agitated!
He gradually got worse over the 3 years and passed away in July 2015 - I miss him so much - but the hurt is getting less - I am lucky and have a very supportive family and some very good friends. Believe me I know exactly what you are going through!!
You must look after yourself and get as much support as you can. Take care.
My husband went into care early November. He was very unsettled at first but his medication has been gradually reduced and he seems more settled and less sleepy and confused.
This last week has been a good one for him with respect to how settled and relaxed he has been.
However what a shock I had today. He was very lucid indeed. Wanted to know what he was doing there, asked why he can't come home and then proceeded to ask why he had been kicked out of his home.
I explained that he hadn't been kicked out of anywhere, he agreed to go for a week into respite after an incident at home when he became physical with me. I went on to remind him about his behaviour in respite which resulted in him being taken to hospital. He said he had made a mistake and never intended things to turn out like they have.
He said he can't live without me, and I have no idea how it feels to be left all alone with nothing to do. He said he is going to ask our sons what they think.
He says he loves me so much it's painful and he needs to spend all of his time with me.
At some point I tried to explain that on my own I couldn't look after him as well as he is being looked after at the moment.
Of course he thinks I can do a better job.
I feel like I have been pulled through a hedge backwards and am beginning to question myself if he isn't in care when he doesn't need to be.
My head is thumping.
Is there anyone out there who can identify with this. ?
My husband was exactly the same when he first went into care. I too couldn't look after him due to safety reasons. He was admitted 3 years ago and had a lot of lucid moments when I thought I had done the wrong thing in placing him there - he had Lewy Body Dementia and Parkinson's - he fluctuated between good and bad days - I was the evil person who put him there - I had the house he had nothing - I could do what I wanted he couldn't and so it went on. I have come away from him on lots of occasions in tears- but I still went back to visit. On bad days I would just say that I would come back another day as he wasn't having a good day. It was hard to go but it helped me and him as it stopped him getting more agitated!
He gradually got worse over the 3 years and passed away in July 2015 - I miss him so much - but the hurt is getting less - I am lucky and have a very supportive family and some very good friends. Believe me I know exactly what you are going through!!
You must look after yourself and get as much support as you can. Take care.