Christmas in nursing home

[jaymor]

If the CCG are providing funds for the care home to give 1:1 care then you need to contact them and tell them the service they are paying for is not being given. Once they get involved perhaps the Manager will sit up and take responsibility for providing the right care.

 

[Misstep]

you're not alone

This is my first Christmas ever on my own.
Just got back from visiting my husband at his NH for Christmas morning and lunch.
He enjoyed opening the presents with help and eating the choccies and other treats. He was ok at lunch and managed to eat most of his meal with my help.
After lunch he wanted a nap so I sat and watched TV next to his bed. He was a bit restless after an hour and a half and insisted on clearing his bed and rearranging things in the room. As a result he fell over but got back up on his own. On his waking he had no idea who I was and wouldn't take advice. I called the nurses to give him a hand and left to come home.
My husband has Dementia with Lewy Bodies and is on Rivastigmine and anti depressants which he has responded well to.
I realise he will get worse and dread it. I don't know what to do with myself now and can't see past the dementia. There is no time scale and precious little I can do except be there for him. I feel so guilty that I cannot cope with this.
If you know of someone who is lonely in a nursing home, give them some time.
If you know of someone like me who is experiencing this strange loss but not loss, I cannot advise what to offer except tea and sympathy.

Bless you. I hope you coped with your day OK. When we're dealing with this, the dementia is a constant presence for all of us. There really is no way to cope. All you can do is just go along with it and hold on to the good bits as they come up.

 

[fizzie]

I was worried about OH and had trouble sleeping so I went to the Home at 05.30

OH was sitting dressed in his room alone. I asked why there was no-one with him and the answer I got was that there weren't enough staff. I rang adult safeguarding to report what was going on.
Nearly an hour later someone came with a wheelchair to take him to the lounge, I commented on them not using a strap for lifting. They said he could stand and walk. But when they brought him to the lounge they used a lifting strap to move him to the chair.
We got a cup of tea at about 07.30
I asked for, and received some squash which my OH had two glasses of then he drank his tea. He has a severe pain in his head.

It is now 09.00 and no food has been offered to him or me. I think I am now officially a nuisance as the manager arrived early and asked me if I wanted to take him home. I replied that he needed one to one support.

There is a lady here who has a nasty cut on her hand, I pointed it out and they said they knew. It isn't dressed and its bloody so the blood is going on the things she touches.

I know there is money available for my OH's care. I am worried about him being here. Safeguarding just said I needed to speak to the home manager.

Val I have read a couple of your posts and the way the residents are being treated in that home is NOT ok. You were so right to report it to safeguarding and they should have followed it up. Social Services have a duty to follow up any safeguarding issues and so i would phone again and say that because of xy and z he is not safe and he is not receiving the one to one support which leaves him unsafe and at risk.
It is appalling that there a people with severe dementia in lounges where there are no staff.
Do you think he is dehydrated - the pain in his head?
I know it is always a concern but I shouldn't worry about being a nuisance, my bet is that if you spoke to other relatives they may well feel the same - but i do know how hard this must be for you xx
I suggest that you put all your concerns in writing to the Manager - they can't sweep it under the carpet if it is in writing and that you also contact the Care Quality Commission with the list of your concerns - including the cold in the home. This is their contact details and they will listen
Share your experience

Speak up and tell us on 03000 61 61 61, enquiries@cqc.org.uk

I know it is always worrying to have to report things but not only do you need to try to get things right for yourselves or you will find it hard to settle comfortably but also for all the others in there who have no-one to speak for them.

Please keep posting, we are all here to support you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[fizzie]

Sorry I forgot to say that all the authorities should take notice of the 05.30 hour! Standard inspctions do not cover those hours but if you report they will take notice - do you think he had gone to bed and if so who got him up and dressed him at that hour in the morning?

 

[clareglen]

You've done the right thing, reporting it & going when you couldn't settle - gut instinct & all that. I too think headache caused by dehydration, I get it myself when I haven't drunk enough. If you were near where I live (north Cumbria) I would go with you & support you.

 

[Fluffyval]

Still trying

Situation is pretty much as follows
Status 29/12/2015
My OH has now become a vegetable for most of the time.
iMHO his support needs are not being met

a. One to one care has not been available when required
b. The lounges are left unstaffed most of the time
c. His quality of life has deteriorated significantly because he is over sedated
d. I believe the sedation masks the facts that he is in constant pain which he is unable to communicate
e. The staff here in the main have difficulty communicating in English, my OH finds it very hard to communicate anyway.
f. When I ask for help I am left for some time before someone responds, I usually have to go searching for someone.
g. Staff get together in the dining room for their meals leaving lounges empty.
h. OH is being left for over an hour before he is dressed in a morning.
i. There are only rich tea biscuits for residents.
j. I have observed a staff member goading a resident to fight, she may have thought it appropriate.
k. Staff do not have time to comfort distressed residents.
l. Plastic covered chairs are uncomfortable and dangerous to fragile skin.
m. The place smells of urine.

I only want for his quality of life to be as comfortable and peaceful as possible.
I am contacting his GP, the CCG and the Psychiatrist to try to get some help.
I feel a bit bullied by the system as when I tried to get his sedation reduced the hospital said he looked relaxed and peaceful over a telelink and refused to admit him.
I think he is distressed by the situation but its difficult to get through the drugs.
I have read somewhere that pain should be treated, not sedated.
Thanks for your support

P.S.
He is in an upstairs room, needs a wheelchair and the lift has stopped working today

 

[tigerlady]

This is a dreadful situation - your poor husband. Keep on contacting the authorities until someone takes some action - it sounds as if this home needs closing down. Everything on your list is shocking!

My husband was in a bad home last Christmas - he had been in an assessment unit at the hospital for 4 months as no home would take because of his aggression, or else they were full with waiting lists. The home was the first one that could take him, and it was a big Victorian manor house, which I thought might be ok for him as it didnt look like an institution. He went in October 2014 but I knew after the first week it was no good, but it was on the NHS list as being suitable to receive CHC funded people. I wanted to take him home then and there, but wasnt allowed to as he had a DoLS order. After many phone messages (no person was ever available to take my calls) and physically hand delivering letters and calling at offices, he eventually got a place at a really good home at the end of January, just up the road from the bad one, where they had taken in quite a few of other people from the bad home.

Its so hard fighting the authorities, and very soul destroying at times, but don't give up. In the end a lovely lady from the In Reach team and the CHC lady got together and I think pulled strings to get him in the good home - I think he jumped the waiting list - as by then I was so desperate I said I was taking him home and to hell with the consequences. I sincerely hope you find a better place for your husband as soon as possible

Sending big hugs

Love Jane xxxx

 

[clareglen]

Keep at it Fluffyval. We can't help you practically, but we're with you in spirit.

 

[Fluffyval]

Is this a dream . . .

My OH now (as of today) in wonderful dementia specialist care home in Bradford. Prayers and hopes answered.
Their aim is to enable residents to achieve their potential though motivation, support and reassurance. They have a residents cafe/bar, an activity room suitable for messy activities like painting and clay working , with its own sink. Wide corridors and reminiscence themed ares with seating. Its awesome. Just opened a couple of months ago.
Downstairs room, chocolate biscuits, no smell, lots of staff communicating and smiling, fabric chairs, activities, chatter and a buzz among the residents.
Thanks, Yippee! I still think it is only a dream, but maybe the nightmare of the other home has ended

Dear tigerlily, so similar to my experience, I wonder how many more are suffering.
I am resolved to persue the poor care he got in order to hopefully help the remaining residents there.

 

[tigerlady]

So pleased you got a better home for your OH so quickly - sounds lovely and I hope he has a happy life there xxx

 

[clareglen]

So pleased for you. We've got to complain to make things right. Glad you're going to pursue for others left behind. Well done.