Good evening,
I hope I can get some advice from here.
My mum in law is 80 years old. She lives in Lincoln and we live in Scotland. She is diabetic and doea not see very well. All her 3 sisters have died with alzheimers or are in the late stages of the disease and in the last 15 months, my mum in law has somewhat deteriorated. I phone her regularly and check on her (we have 4 kids and work on shifts? So travelling down to see her is always a world trip but we try and manage 1 - 3 times a year). Her memory is getting worse and worse, she cannot remember what day in the week it is half the time or what she has had for dinner (or what she is actually cooking at that present moment). She does not recognise her neighbours and wjen we saw her in July, she did not recognise us either (after we just went back to the bed and breakfast to pick something up and returned to her house). She frequently talks to me about "Robert and Sabine up in Scotland" - unaware that it is us she is actually talking to. These are just examples and the list cut go on and on.So my hubby tried to contact her gp and social services because we are really concerned about her wellbeing. She refuses to sign powers of attourney to my husband. They refuse to do anything. Unless she has an accident or hurts herself they do not see the need to support her. So yesterday I discovered that mums phone has been disconnected because she forgot to pay her bills. I then contacted her neighbour (who is as concerned as we are about the state she is in) - and she went round to check on her, only to find mother in law sporting a massive black eye. Obviously she cannot remember how she managed that. The GP the got an ambulance out and she was kept in hospital over night. I thought that this would be the point when someone would notice what is going on. Until the nurse spoke to my hubby (who hardly ever speaks to his mum, it is always me who checks on her) - and asks if she has always been that confused, to which my husband answered "she is getting worse as she gets older!". Not one word about her not recognising him, forgetting that it was christmas, sending several birthday cards with money in, not paying her phonebills, trying to boil eggs and turning them on and off several times because she could not remember what she was doing with them or any other story that has happened over the last 15 months. End of story: mother in law is getting home tonight. No care package, nothing. Apparently she wants to go home and they reckon that she is fit enough. I honestly genuinely do not believe that she should be left alone, with noone there to check regularly on her. My husband is angry at me now because I told him that his answer probably did not help. I have no means of contacting her (and 2 weeks before christmas i cannot afford to pay the bill for her, I really do not have the money just now) and I do not know what to do. Sorry for moaning, I feel so helpless.
Sabine
I hope I can get some advice from here.
My mum in law is 80 years old. She lives in Lincoln and we live in Scotland. She is diabetic and doea not see very well. All her 3 sisters have died with alzheimers or are in the late stages of the disease and in the last 15 months, my mum in law has somewhat deteriorated. I phone her regularly and check on her (we have 4 kids and work on shifts? So travelling down to see her is always a world trip but we try and manage 1 - 3 times a year). Her memory is getting worse and worse, she cannot remember what day in the week it is half the time or what she has had for dinner (or what she is actually cooking at that present moment). She does not recognise her neighbours and wjen we saw her in July, she did not recognise us either (after we just went back to the bed and breakfast to pick something up and returned to her house). She frequently talks to me about "Robert and Sabine up in Scotland" - unaware that it is us she is actually talking to. These are just examples and the list cut go on and on.So my hubby tried to contact her gp and social services because we are really concerned about her wellbeing. She refuses to sign powers of attourney to my husband. They refuse to do anything. Unless she has an accident or hurts herself they do not see the need to support her. So yesterday I discovered that mums phone has been disconnected because she forgot to pay her bills. I then contacted her neighbour (who is as concerned as we are about the state she is in) - and she went round to check on her, only to find mother in law sporting a massive black eye. Obviously she cannot remember how she managed that. The GP the got an ambulance out and she was kept in hospital over night. I thought that this would be the point when someone would notice what is going on. Until the nurse spoke to my hubby (who hardly ever speaks to his mum, it is always me who checks on her) - and asks if she has always been that confused, to which my husband answered "she is getting worse as she gets older!". Not one word about her not recognising him, forgetting that it was christmas, sending several birthday cards with money in, not paying her phonebills, trying to boil eggs and turning them on and off several times because she could not remember what she was doing with them or any other story that has happened over the last 15 months. End of story: mother in law is getting home tonight. No care package, nothing. Apparently she wants to go home and they reckon that she is fit enough. I honestly genuinely do not believe that she should be left alone, with noone there to check regularly on her. My husband is angry at me now because I told him that his answer probably did not help. I have no means of contacting her (and 2 weeks before christmas i cannot afford to pay the bill for her, I really do not have the money just now) and I do not know what to do. Sorry for moaning, I feel so helpless.
Sabine