Men's Problems

[Kevinl]

I wonder how many of those are looked after by men. I suspect the minority

From all I've read on here over the years men maybe just don't engage in an environment like TP as well as women do, hence last years figures say it's 84% women and 16% men on here, down from an 80/20 split the year before.
You may suspect men are in the minority but it may be many just do it in private, I post quite a lot on here but I'm maybe an exception.
It isn't that the site is in any way sexist it's self selecting, those who want to engage do others chose not to, possibly women are more open to discussing things where men are not, possibly men see asking for help as a sign of weakness, who knows we're all different people.
The bit " I can find is threads about man problems such as posts about male body parts, male bodily functions and male sexual activities. Why are their no equivalent post about females." There are all over the place, the only sticking point may be that male sexual activity is the "dirty old man" syndrome where my granny flashing her knickers at ever family gathering was seen as funny (back in the 60's).
If there's an issue you want to raise start a thread, as with anything in life some will agree with you and offer help and advise and some will take a different view.
K

 

[Grannie G]

Well said Kevin. I wish we had a `like` button.

 

[CollegeGirl]

I don't know if this is of any help to Del, but my mam has on occasion behaved inappropriately in public, by trying to remove her clothes. There have been times at home when she has refused to get dressed and has wandered around the house naked, or with just her bra, or just her pants on, giving dad worries in case anyone called round.

When she was in respite she formed an attachment to another chap (she thought he was my dad) and would hold his hand, kiss him and I think she even tried to get into bed with him.

My point is that I believe that women with dementia can and do behave in what we would think of as an inappropriate way, just the same as men can and do.

I hope you come back, Del, and ask advice on whatever it is that's worrying you.

 

[jimbo 111]

I hope you come back, Del, and ask advice on whatever it is that's worrying you.

agreed
jimbo

 

[Trisha4]

From all I've read on here over the years men maybe just don't engage in an environment like TP as well as women do, hence last years figures say it's 84% women and 16% men on here, down from an 80/20 split the year before.
You may suspect men are in the minority but it may be many just do it in private, I post quite a lot on here but I'm maybe an exception.
It isn't that the site is in any way sexist it's self selecting, those who want to engage do others chose not to, possibly women are more open to discussing things where men are not, possibly men see asking for help as a sign of weakness, who knows we're all different people.
The bit " I can find is threads about man problems such as posts about male body parts, male bodily functions and male sexual activities. Why are their no equivalent post about females." There are all over the place, the only sticking point may be that male sexual activity is the "dirty old man" syndrome where my granny flashing her knickers at ever family gathering was seen as funny (back in the 60's).
If there's an issue you want to raise start a thread, as with anything in life some will agree with you and offer help and advise and some will take a different view.
K

Hi Kevin
Just a chance to explain my comment about women being looked after by others. If you look on the section about people caring for someone, many people are caring for mums. I think there are more widows than widowers although I don't have statistics. I certainly didn't mean husbands walk away.
We all struggle with this horrid illness regardless of gender, age or anything else.
I will reiterate that if someone has a question, raise it (as you say). Don't assume it's not acceptable x


Sent from my iPad using Talking Point

 

[stanleypj]

To get back to the OP's first post, it's not clear to me that he has a specific question that he wants to ask but is reluctant to.

 

[Del24]

Ebarrassed

You are all right I have something I want an answer to but I am too embarrassed to write the words.
My wife would be horrified if she knew what I am writing about her.
We have 2 recurring female problems.
1. rhymes with ladder.
2. is the same name as a garden bird.
Sorry.

 

[Sue J]

Dear Del

Please don't be embarrassed, Thrush is a very nice bird but the medical condition for ladies and men not so nice and can cause problems with the bladder. GP or pharmaicist should be able to give you some cream Nystatin please go and have a quiet word with them they will understand and give you something to help.

Best wishes
Sue

 

[lin1]

You have no need to be embarrassed.
As you probably already know Vaginal thrush is a common female problem. I call it the birdie.

It's easily treated.
You can either get a prescription from the GP or buy Canesten from the chemist but it don't come cheap.

Ps . Dont be tempted to just get the external cream, the internal infection needs to be treated.

 

[nitram]

For suspected thrush I would advise a GP appointment rather than a pharmacist to get a full diagnosis.
Has your wife recently taken any anti biotics?
These can sometimes kill of the friendly bacteria in the vagina allowing any yeasts there to grow, the yeast must be there already perhaps in a small asymptomatic amount.

 

[lin1]

Del24
I have just re read your post.
As this is recurring problem , it's best to speak to the GP as thy may want to see if their something else causing Thrush.

 

[nita]

Del, you mentioned another problem to do with "waterworks"? Is it incontinence - if so you need to get an appointment for a district nurse to come out and do an assessment. They can provide protection, though, in my Mum's case the pads they provided weren't good enough and I have to buy them myself.

 

[Del24]

thank you

Thank you all for your help and advice it is most welcome.
I have been looking after my wife for the past 6/7 years this illness is something that crept up on me without me being aware of what was happening until it hit me on the chin.
My wife has multiple health and mobility problems including diabetes with insulin injections 3 times a day done by me.
We have all the usual problems that you all are aware of.
We have a little help but there is nobody that can give her the quality of care that I give her the proof is she has had multiple falls with other people when I wasn't there.
I told our daughters I will look after Mum as long as I can because they are not in a position to offer much help.
My main purpose in life apart from looking after my lovely wife is to remain happy and cheerful and to enforce that we have the following sign fixed to our front door.

( ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE )

 

[Slugsta]

Del, you are obviously doing a great job of looking after your darling wife! I wish everyone had someone who loved them so much.

Thrush is a common problem for ladies, and men, especially those who also suffer from diabetes - the raised blood sugar feeds the yeast. As you are having to inject 3 times a day, it sounds as if your wife's diabetes is quite severe, are you managing to keep her blood sugars down?Is she having regular check-ups or are you doing everything on your own?

 

[Lifebuoy44]

Hi Del,

I always look on this site for help and advice to look after my wife.
Most times I find answers to my problems but just recently all I can find is threads about man problems such as posts about male body parts, male bodily functions and male sexual activities.
Why are their no equivalent post about females.
Because it would not be allowed to be posted by the adjudicator.
Is this sexism?

Hi Del, like you, I am the carer for my wife. Unfortunately, we blokes seem to be in the minority. I had a period of total meltdown, when I felt completely "on my own". Thankfully, I have now found some support through the Alzheimers Society's local groups. Can you find one in your area? On-line support is no equal for real people that you can talk to. That said, if I can be of any use to you, please respond. You're in my thoughts. Bob

 

[Del24]

I am getting help with diabetes etc from GP and diabetic nurse and from crossroads and I have carers once a day.
I have had to fight tooth and nail to get all this help it was not offered.
I even managed to get a cleaner one day a week.

 

[Slugsta]

It's so wrong, isn't it, that you have to fight for every bit of help you get? I'm so glad that your wife has you to fight on her behalf.

 

[mci]

I am getting help with diabetes etc from GP and diabetic nurse and from crossroads and I have carers once a day.
I have had to fight tooth and nail to get all this help it was not offered.
I even managed to get a cleaner one day a week.

Keep fighting - social services finally provided carers for my mother - in law. As my husband also has Alzheimers i could not provide the care she needed too you just have to make a big fuss and pester them constantly. Perhaps your Doctor could help?

 

[DMac]

Don't feel embarrassed

Thank you all for your help and advice it is most welcome.
I have been looking after my wife for the past 6/7 years this illness is something that crept up on me without me being aware of what was happening until it hit me on the chin.
My wife has multiple health and mobility problems including diabetes with insulin injections 3 times a day done by me.
We have all the usual problems that you all are aware of.
We have a little help but there is nobody that can give her the quality of care that I give her the proof is she has had multiple falls with other people when I wasn't there.
I told our daughters I will look after Mum as long as I can because they are not in a position to offer much help.
My main purpose in life apart from looking after my lovely wife is to remain happy and cheerful and to enforce that we have the following sign fixed to our front door.

( ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE )

Dear Del,

I'm so pleased you felt able to ask about your wife's problems, and it sounds like you have got the advice you needed.

I, too, found myself in an embarrassing situation when I started to provide intimate care for my father-in-law. It felt almost mortifying at first, but now I'm used to it. Fortunately for me, he never seemed to feel any embarrassment at all. It's now a case of needs must. I'm sure your lovely wife would be extremely proud of you for seeking help on her behalf, for being her champion. You are her hero and you deserve a medal for your efforts and your dignity and your cheerfulness. There is not one scrap of shame in what you are doing for her. I salute you.