My parents have been in a CH for just over 4 months now. They went in on respite after a long hospital stay for my Dad and it was pretty clear that they weren't going to be going home. Both have AD and my Mum has severe mobility issues. They were barely coping at home with the support of carers before Dad's illness and they need 24 hour care now. Dad scored really badly on the last memory assessment they had - almost severe.
Most days they think they are in a hotel and have just arrived that morning. Sometimes they are a little more lucid and understand they are in a care environment - and can get quite cross about it. They ask about their house quite a lot (never quite sure which house but 'their house') - mostly whether it's still OK, when they are going back and if anyone is living in it.
I put the house on the market back in August. We're going to need the money for care fees. We got an offer yesterday and I'm going to accept it I think but I suddenly feel absolutely dreadful about it. It seems so final. I suppose whilst the house still belongs to them I can delude myself that there is a chance they might go back to it. But I know that they can't. And at the moment when they ask about the house I can truthfully say "it's just how you left it". But when it's sold I'm going to have to be more creative and I'm not sure how I'm going to look them in the eye and lie to them
The house is 150 miles away from me, a burden and cost to run and I know that I need to do it but I hate doing things that I know are essentially against their will and wishes. But I don't feel I have a choice. Guilt, it's just guilt isn't it? What if I'm doing the wrong thing - everyone around me says that I'm not but I just don't feel convinced.
I hate this illness...taking major decisions for other people.
Sorry this is a rant but feeling very rubbish about this today
Most days they think they are in a hotel and have just arrived that morning. Sometimes they are a little more lucid and understand they are in a care environment - and can get quite cross about it. They ask about their house quite a lot (never quite sure which house but 'their house') - mostly whether it's still OK, when they are going back and if anyone is living in it.
I put the house on the market back in August. We're going to need the money for care fees. We got an offer yesterday and I'm going to accept it I think but I suddenly feel absolutely dreadful about it. It seems so final. I suppose whilst the house still belongs to them I can delude myself that there is a chance they might go back to it. But I know that they can't. And at the moment when they ask about the house I can truthfully say "it's just how you left it". But when it's sold I'm going to have to be more creative and I'm not sure how I'm going to look them in the eye and lie to them
The house is 150 miles away from me, a burden and cost to run and I know that I need to do it but I hate doing things that I know are essentially against their will and wishes. But I don't feel I have a choice. Guilt, it's just guilt isn't it? What if I'm doing the wrong thing - everyone around me says that I'm not but I just don't feel convinced.
I hate this illness...taking major decisions for other people.
Sorry this is a rant but feeling very rubbish about this today