I still think the possibility of a live in carer should be considered. From what you have said they very much want to be together and a live in carer would really remove the burden. To reduce the cost you could say to the Agency that the family will cover the breaks that the live in carer will need so that they don't need to 'double up'. Worth a thought
Alternative to a care home
- Thread starter Broomie
- Start date
Dear all, the family have decided to have FIL placed in a home, the reason being that he is becoming increasingly aggressive and they have struggled recently to provide 24\7 cover. A home has been found and he will be going in later this week hopefully.
While they are upset at this they all agree that they weren't coping and this decision is for the best for everyone.
I would like to thank you all for your advice and guidance over the past weeks. I wish you all the very best for the future.
While they are upset at this they all agree that they weren't coping and this decision is for the best for everyone.
I would like to thank you all for your advice and guidance over the past weeks. I wish you all the very best for the future.
Broomie, thanks for coming back and letting us know. While I'm sorry the family is upset, I'm relieved that all of this took a relatively short time and that your FIL will be receiving the care he needs.
Having a relative-with-dementia in a care home is a "whole 'nother ball game," as they say here in the States, and please don't hesitate to return with questions, concerns, or advice of your own. My mother's been in the CH for almost nine months and I still feel like I don't know what I'm doing. And of course, someone will have to be in charge of paperwork and administrative issues, and there is his home to deal with, and...well, you get the idea. Lots of people here have experience with these things and are happy to help.
Best wishes for you, your wife, and her family.
Having a relative-with-dementia in a care home is a "whole 'nother ball game," as they say here in the States, and please don't hesitate to return with questions, concerns, or advice of your own. My mother's been in the CH for almost nine months and I still feel like I don't know what I'm doing. And of course, someone will have to be in charge of paperwork and administrative issues, and there is his home to deal with, and...well, you get the idea. Lots of people here have experience with these things and are happy to help.
Best wishes for you, your wife, and her family.
It is good that a decision has been made, it is always a difficult decision with so much to weigh up. As Amy said please come back and talk to us from time to time and let us know how it is going and there may well be bits and pieces that people on here can help you with as you go along. Have a peaceful week
I must say that I am relieved that it has happened so quickly.
No-one likes the idea of a relative going into a care home, but sometimes it is unavoidable.
BTW, the caring will not stop, just because he is in a care home. Make sure that everything that he takes into the care home is labeled clearly with his name and remember that he will take time to settle.
No-one likes the idea of a relative going into a care home, but sometimes it is unavoidable.
BTW, the caring will not stop, just because he is in a care home. Make sure that everything that he takes into the care home is labeled clearly with his name and remember that he will take time to settle.
Just wanted to add a bit to canary's advice.
Don't make the mistake we made when Dad went into a care home. We put lots of photos in frames around for him, but some were 'lost', some he removed from the frames himself and hid or tore up. We had left originals, and some were irreplaceable. I would advise using copies if the originals are of particular sentimental value or very old.
And as canary says, do label everything, not just clothing.
Don't make the mistake we made when Dad went into a care home. We put lots of photos in frames around for him, but some were 'lost', some he removed from the frames himself and hid or tore up. We had left originals, and some were irreplaceable. I would advise using copies if the originals are of particular sentimental value or very old.
And as canary says, do label everything, not just clothing.
Also make an inventory if the care home doesn't ask you for one. Take photographs as well,especially of things like glasses which tend to go walkabout.
All,
Thanks for the advice, I'll passing on. He seems to be settling in OK although he is asking when he'll be going home. Once again, thanks for all your advice and support.
Broomie, I just wanted to quickly post and say a couple of things:
I am quite new to this forum, and in a similar situation in that mum requires 24 hour care, and mainly for financial reasons, my brother and I are about to embark on providing this care between us. Your post and the subsequent comments have really made me think hard about this undertaking, and the possible issues which will unfold. So basically, thank you for posting and sharing your experiences.
Secondly, I wish I had a husband like you! (don't take this the wrong way please, I am happily married, but the support that you have provided for Mrs Broomie - well, what can I say!)
Very kind regards and thanks
