My father has Alzheimer's and moved to a NH 3 months ago; this followed a prolonged stay in hospital after he contracted Sepsis. The community hospital team insisted he needed residential or nursing home care and so much against our wishes, we finally agreed to him being admitted to a NH. He receives NHS nursing care funding but didn't qualify for CHC. However the home we selected does cater for CHC patients and specialises in dementia. He is in the later stages of the illness, though still reasonably independent and mobile.
Despite our misgivings he settled in well and all the reports we got were very positive and indeed his general health, mobility and social skills improved to the extent that I began to wonder if he could have coped going back home after all.
But in the last week, the NH manager has suddenly told us that his behaviour has become unacceptable and that they are no longer able to cope with him. They have suggested that he will have to move to a nearby home which specialises in mental health patients with challenging behaviour. We visited this home before he moved and rejected it because the clientele was a very mixed range and many were very physically aggressive and violent. My father is a quiet, mild-mannered and polite individual, who whilst strong-willed is neither verbally or physically aggressive in any way. He finds violence in any form distressing.
Compared to many of the residents in his NH, he is also not "difficult", he has good communication and social skills. His behavioural problems seem to be around night time wandering (down the corridor of the NH and also into other residents' rooms) and soiling himself/not using the commode or bathroom facilities. He did also refuse to go on an outing last week, which was purely voluntary and I did suggest he would be unlikely to enjoy it even if they could persuade him to go. In the end he refused to go.
I have noticed a change in his demeanour in the last week - he is much more suspicious and even a little paranoid about what he says is happening in the home. I put this down to lack of sleep (because he is active at night) and also down to the fact that the staff, in dealing with his behaviour, are probably being more assertive with him. He never was a man who liked being told what to do!
There are some new members of staff around, due to holidays and changes in personnel.
But today when my brother visited the NH manager/matron took him to one side and more or less said my Father's behaviour was no longer manageable and he would have to be transferred. They asked him to sign some form (he wasn't sure what it said, naively) and said there was some psychiatric assessment next week (still trying to find out what it is and who is doing it) and this would result in him having to move? No other options - such as medication - seem to have been tried. Though they have apparently tried putting him in another room to sleep, which hasn't worked.
I'm trying not to rush to judgement, particularly as it is half term week and Dad's social worker is on holiday, his GP practice was closed today and my brother hadn't fully understood the implications of what was going on. They read him a report of incidents which took place over a week ago which we were not previously made aware of, which I think shocked him. Perhaps that was the idea.....
So any advice, practical or procedural from anyone who has experienced this scenario. I don't want to have to move my Dad, but neither do I want to fight to keep him somewhere where the staff clearly no longer want to care for him.
Thank you in anticipation.
Despite our misgivings he settled in well and all the reports we got were very positive and indeed his general health, mobility and social skills improved to the extent that I began to wonder if he could have coped going back home after all.
But in the last week, the NH manager has suddenly told us that his behaviour has become unacceptable and that they are no longer able to cope with him. They have suggested that he will have to move to a nearby home which specialises in mental health patients with challenging behaviour. We visited this home before he moved and rejected it because the clientele was a very mixed range and many were very physically aggressive and violent. My father is a quiet, mild-mannered and polite individual, who whilst strong-willed is neither verbally or physically aggressive in any way. He finds violence in any form distressing.
Compared to many of the residents in his NH, he is also not "difficult", he has good communication and social skills. His behavioural problems seem to be around night time wandering (down the corridor of the NH and also into other residents' rooms) and soiling himself/not using the commode or bathroom facilities. He did also refuse to go on an outing last week, which was purely voluntary and I did suggest he would be unlikely to enjoy it even if they could persuade him to go. In the end he refused to go.
I have noticed a change in his demeanour in the last week - he is much more suspicious and even a little paranoid about what he says is happening in the home. I put this down to lack of sleep (because he is active at night) and also down to the fact that the staff, in dealing with his behaviour, are probably being more assertive with him. He never was a man who liked being told what to do!
There are some new members of staff around, due to holidays and changes in personnel.
But today when my brother visited the NH manager/matron took him to one side and more or less said my Father's behaviour was no longer manageable and he would have to be transferred. They asked him to sign some form (he wasn't sure what it said, naively) and said there was some psychiatric assessment next week (still trying to find out what it is and who is doing it) and this would result in him having to move? No other options - such as medication - seem to have been tried. Though they have apparently tried putting him in another room to sleep, which hasn't worked.
I'm trying not to rush to judgement, particularly as it is half term week and Dad's social worker is on holiday, his GP practice was closed today and my brother hadn't fully understood the implications of what was going on. They read him a report of incidents which took place over a week ago which we were not previously made aware of, which I think shocked him. Perhaps that was the idea.....
So any advice, practical or procedural from anyone who has experienced this scenario. I don't want to have to move my Dad, but neither do I want to fight to keep him somewhere where the staff clearly no longer want to care for him.
Thank you in anticipation.
Last edited: