We are at our wits end. Go cut a long story short. My dad had to go into respite care because my mum could not cope with personal care, the respite home could not cope with personal care and there were issues with that placement, safeguarding etc, staff shortages and inexperienced staff and my mum had to go in and wash and change him! Yes unbelievable! We managed to find a lovely permanent placement, guess what they too cannot cope with him and have called my mum into help. Totally defeats the object. Both homes report refusal, trying to punch staff, verbal and physical agression. They have tried different times, tactics, carers, and are not allowed to perform any type of ethical hold to try to remove clothes. My dad is now wandering around in soiled clothing having been doubly incontinent and won't allow any help. We understand reasons for his refusal, but what else can help? Mild sedation, flash cards? reasonable force, we and they are out of ideas! What if no home can cope? What's next, other than the personal care challenges, his behaviour is reasonable! As you can imagine so stressful for my mum, they are both 70/71. It's devasting the family, concerns a psychiatric ward might be suggested, help!!