'Blips'

[camkam]

Every so often my Mum has what we call 'blips' where she gets very distressed and thinks that me (and sometimes my Dad who died 17 years ago) have gone missing. Last night she had one of these episodes and rang me at 11pm asking where I was. When I explained that I was at home she said 'No you aren't, that's why I'm ringing you'. She had forgotten that I now lived 200 miles away and had done for 23 years, she had forgotten that I was married and she kept saying that she couldn't understand what had happened to make me leave home! This morning she still thought I had gone missing and I found 13 voicemail messages on my mobile. When I rang Mum later in the morning she said she must have been dreaming but she has these blips more and more regularly. We're currently awaiting the results of a Memory Assessment test that she had six weeks ago (apparently this is normal in Lancashire) and I have a PoA going through at the moment but Mum gets so distressed and upset during these blips and I feel so helpless. Has anyone else experienced this?

 

[IzzyJ]

It must be really hard for you to handle this when you live at such a distance: lots of sympathy for you. Yes, my mother started something very similar about April this year, and her blips recur more and more frequently now as her illness is progressing quite fast. Her GP and consultant think they started with TIAs or a small stroke, and also happen if she has any infection at all or is constipated for example. We try to go with what she is currently believing as far as possible, but can't always do that. Wishing you all the best.

 

[AndreaP]

It is often easier to go along with them. "Where are you?" answer "I'll be home soon. Go to bed I won't be long". It's amazing how easily they accept these answers. When my mum said bikies were harassing her night and day, I told her I'd called the police and had them arrested. Said they were locked up in gaol and wouldn't be bothering her. "Well that's a relief" she said and has never mentioned them again.

 

[camkam]

Thank you for your comments, Mum says she feels fine today, she remembers being very upset and she remembers the conversation with me about not living with her any more. She thinks it may be because she was standing in the kitchen for four hours that day sorting out bills that she thought she hadn't paid! She does get very stressed about her bills but because her pension is paid into a post office cash account I can't sort out any direct debits for her, she pays everything in cash at the post office. That's another problem I have yet to overcome, it seems that every solution I think of will cause her confusion and more stress.

 

[AndreaP]

Oh the bills! One of the reasons we moved mum into a CH was the stress of the bills was driving us all crazy. She would ring me several times a day anguishing about a bill that may or may not have been paid. And she would keep every paid bill and there would be piles of them everywhere.

I wasn't allowed to dispose of them but she could never work out if it had been paid or not. When she went to the loo I would gather up what I could and shove them in my bag and take them home with me. She didn't miss them.

And yes, the stress of all that anguish caused her to do and say very strange things. It doesn't matter how many times you say "relax, we'll make sure the bills are paid on time" they continue to obsess. I thought it was mum trying to hang onto her last bit of control over her life.