Hello. I haven’t posted before but I have looked in. It has been a help to me that others have posted , even if it is only to make me realize how lucky we are, thank you.
I wonder if anyone can help me with this. My dear Mum recently moved to the residential section of a care home. Mainly because we felt she was too vulnerable to be on her own and because she said it was what she wanted, to always have people around. She and we hoped she’d find company, maybe even people with similar problems with memory and confusion. It hasn’t happened yet, possibly but I can’t be sure, because the residents who are mentally fine but with physical problems seem to avoid her and the rest seem to be worse off mentally and can barely speak. She longs for a friend despite a lot of time we three children spend talking to her and with her - and to the other residents and staff to help her settle in. We have discussed it with the staff who are all pleasant and say Mum is lovely and no trouble which is the person I know. But I guess they can’t make it happen anymore than we can.
She does get deeply, deeply unhappy at times. I can distract her sometimes and bring her back but sooner or later she will say or ring up to say there’s something wrong with her head , she can’t think straight, that I don’t realize how serious her problem is and get all tearful and resentful.
She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s three years ago but has always avoided the name or talking about it. I talk calmly with her and tell her again it is a memory problem she has and that she is coping really well and we are looking after her. But deep down I know what she is saying is that it is stopping her connecting with people and she is really frightened by that. Then I try to distract her again with another topic.
It is so very upsetting, and I realize as I write this that I’m probably doing all I can for her, and there isn’t a right answer. But I feel a little better now. Thanks!
I wonder if anyone can help me with this. My dear Mum recently moved to the residential section of a care home. Mainly because we felt she was too vulnerable to be on her own and because she said it was what she wanted, to always have people around. She and we hoped she’d find company, maybe even people with similar problems with memory and confusion. It hasn’t happened yet, possibly but I can’t be sure, because the residents who are mentally fine but with physical problems seem to avoid her and the rest seem to be worse off mentally and can barely speak. She longs for a friend despite a lot of time we three children spend talking to her and with her - and to the other residents and staff to help her settle in. We have discussed it with the staff who are all pleasant and say Mum is lovely and no trouble which is the person I know. But I guess they can’t make it happen anymore than we can.
She does get deeply, deeply unhappy at times. I can distract her sometimes and bring her back but sooner or later she will say or ring up to say there’s something wrong with her head , she can’t think straight, that I don’t realize how serious her problem is and get all tearful and resentful.
She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s three years ago but has always avoided the name or talking about it. I talk calmly with her and tell her again it is a memory problem she has and that she is coping really well and we are looking after her. But deep down I know what she is saying is that it is stopping her connecting with people and she is really frightened by that. Then I try to distract her again with another topic.
It is so very upsetting, and I realize as I write this that I’m probably doing all I can for her, and there isn’t a right answer. But I feel a little better now. Thanks!