But oh those lonely nights .........

[LadyA]

I can make nice cakes - but as I say to the girl in the bakery, if I make them, I end up eating entire cakes! Whereas if I buy one (albeit very expensive) cupcake, I only eat one! When you make cupcakes, you end up with a dozen! Haven't made a coffee/walnut for ages.

When we were kids, bought cakes were real luxuries. My mum used to have a baking day every week. 3 1/2 dozen cupcakes, 3 apple tarts, a coffee/walnut sponge, couple of dozen scones, couple of dozen rock cakes - it kept us going all week! Of course there were five of us plus mum & dad, and we all took lunches to school and dad often took a lunch to work. And mum didn't have an electric mixer - she did it all by hand!

 

[Scarlett123]

I wish you'd all stop talking about cakes!!!! I now have an absolute yearning for cake - any sort of cake. I don't keep things like that in stock, or in the freezer, so I've just had a poached egg on toast - it was the nearest I could get to cake!

 

[LadyA]

I wish you'd all stop talking about cakes!!!! I now have an absolute yearning for cake - any sort of cake. I don't keep things like that in stock, or in the freezer, so I've just had a poached egg on toast - it was the nearest I could get to cake!

That, as we say here, is not within an asses roar of cake!

I've been on a walk with dau, and when we got back we had a late lunch of home made tomato & veg soup and rolls with ham, tomato, cucumber and hard boiled egg in. Yummy!
I still want cake!

 

[disi]

That, as we say here, is not within an asses roar of cake!

I've been on a walk with dau, and when we got back we had a late lunch of home made tomato & veg soup and rolls with ham, tomato, cucumber and hard boiled egg in. Yummy!
I still want cake!

Do stop talking all about cakes, I love them, but have none in the house. I'll just dribble instead

 

[LadyA]

Do stop talking all about cakes, I love them, but have none in the house. I'll just dribble instead

caaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkeeeeeeee!

(runs and hides!)

 

[Cat27]

caaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkeeeeeeee!

(runs and hides!)

 

[truth24]

It's Ok for you lot but I'm on a diet

 

[LadyA]

This is no place or time for a diet, Verity! Anyway if it's coffee/walnut cake - well these days they keep telling us how healthy walnuts are!

 

[truth24]

True and I did have a piece on Saturday before it was all gobbled up

 

[Saffie]

I make a lovely coffee & walnut cake.

As those who were at Launde Abbey this year know,this is my favourite.

p.s. So glad you are coming to York Cat!

 

[Cat27]

Thanks Saffie
I can't wait to meet you all.

 

[Scarlett123]

Planted some bulbs in pots today and remembered John's tip to put an upturned hanging basket on top, to stop the squirrels from eating them!

 

[lcmay]

oh those lonely nights

i have been alone for two years after 52 years of marriage, I fine that listening to talk back on the radio helps, and my cat to cuddle.

 

[21citrouilles]

My mother went through the same thing as you. In the last year when my father was sick, he used to get up in the night and go to sleep in his chair; my mother would hear him and wake up, going down to the living room to sleep on the sofa, near his chair. After he passed away, she kept doing that, getting up in the middle of the night and lying down on that sofa, for a long time.

She too was feeling grief and emptiness. I think what helped her is that she had me to share the grief. Everytime that we spoke, we would talk about him, about our missing him, remembering his quirks, illness, bad temper and funny things he said. We could both express our grief fully to each other and did this until it started to get less heavy.

The we felt a bit more peace. We gave each other all the time needed. Best of luck to you.

 

[Bikey]

Scarlett123, I wish I knew the answer, I lost my wife Barbara last October after 53 years of marriage, and several years of deterioration from Demention, Parkinson's, and a major stroke. I remember your posts during my darkest moments, together with many others which helped me no end, I only wish I could do the same for you. I know it is not even a year for me, but I find the evenings the worst, so am not looking forward to the coming winter.
I have found so far that keeping very busy during the day makes me tired for the evening and night which helps me to sleep through.
Good luck Scarlett. Bikey

It's taken me nearly 8 months to make my way over here, because the time wasn't right. But now, that John's ashes have been committed, and that was the last thing that I needed to do for him, the time is now.

After nearly 50 years together, like so many of you, I feel frightened of what the future holds for me. I look for things to keep me occupied during the day, and most of the time, I can cope (ish), but once the evening shadows fall, so do my spirits.

I started sleeping on my 2 seater settee a couple of years ago, when John developed a passion for nocturnal cuisine. Alas his version was to light the gas, and then drape a tea towel over the flame. As my settee is opposite the kitchen, and he always turned the light on first, this wakened me before more fires could occur.

I've tried sleeping in beds a few times, to no avail, but now my son and his family have returned, and I have a double and a single bed available, I thought I would make the effort. But after 3 nights of tossing and turning, I'm thinking of returning to the settee.

I yearn for the John of yesteryear to be with me. I ache for his company, and I still cry buckets. Naturally, I nail a smile on my face whenever anyone enquires as to my health, but every time a friend, colleague or neighbour complains about their other half, I feel like throttling them.

I read about people who have presumably "died from a broken heart", after the loss of a partner, and have thought, both jealously and angrily "well I'm broken hearted too, so why haven't we been reunited?", and then try to give myself a good telling off.

I know there's no magic cure for those endless silent evenings, that flow into nights, and then dawn rises, but I know I can't be the only one experiencing this. But oh! - how I wish I didn't belong to that club.

 

[delores]

Lonely nights

It's taken me nearly 8 months to make my way over here, because the time wasn't right. But now, that John's ashes have been committed, and that was the last thing that I needed to do for him, the time is now.

After nearly 50 years together, like so many of you, I feel frightened of what the future holds for me. I look for things to keep me occupied during the day, and most of the time, I can cope (ish), but once the evening shadows fall, so do my spirits.

I started sleeping on my 2 seater settee a couple of years ago, when John developed a passion for nocturnal cuisine. Alas his version was to light the gas, and then drape a tea towel over the flame. As my settee is opposite the kitchen, and he always turned the light on first, this wakened me before more fires could occur.

I've tried sleeping in beds a few times, to no avail, but now my son and his family have returned, and I have a double and a single bed available, I thought I would make the effort. But after 3 nights of tossing and turning, I'm thinking of returning to the settee.

I yearn for the John of yesteryear to be with me. I ache for his company, and I still cry buckets. Naturally, I nail a smile on my face whenever anyone enquires as to my health, but every time a friend, colleague or neighbour complains about their other half, I feel like throttling them.

I read about people who have presumably "died from a broken heart", after the loss of a partner, and have thought, both jealously and angrily "well I'm broken hearted too, so why haven't we been reunited?", and then try to give myself a good telling off.

I know there's no magic cure for those endless silent evenings, that flow into nights, and then dawn rises, but I know I can't be the only one experiencing this. But oh! - how I wish I didn't belong to that club.

My heart goes out to you.......I lost Tom a bit over a year ago and sometimes, no most of the time I hate my home. The silence since he went is deafening.
I became a peripatetic sleeper when he ceased to be able to turn on his side whilst asleep and so he snored.....I would move to the spare room or the sofa but always sleeping lightly in case he called. Now he's gone, it's me who calls out for him in the night and I still don't know where to put myself. Sending you a hug. D

 

[Scarlett123]

My heart goes out to you.......I lost Tom a bit over a year ago and sometimes, no most of the time I hate my home. The silence since he went is deafening.
I became a peripatetic sleeper when he ceased to be able to turn on his side whilst asleep and so he snored.....I would move to the spare room or the sofa but always sleeping lightly in case he called. Now he's gone, it's me who calls out for him in the night and I still don't know where to put myself. Sending you a hug. D

Thank you so much, and a massive cyber hug back to you. xx

 

[Scarlett123]

My outdoor plans for today have been rained off, and I just don't have the inclination to do anything indoors. I was going to paint a door, but quite honestly, it doesn't really need painting - it was just something to do.

My face has ached from nailing a smile on it all week, but today I'm not seeing anyone, and I yearn for my lovely man.

 

[LYN T]

The bad weather always makes me feel worse I hate gray clouds-the sun just makes everything a little bit less painful.

Love to you Scarlett XXXX

 

[LadyA]