Abused or controlled?

[Jaffy]

I was fostered at 8 as I had a hearing aid and my mother did not wANT an idiot to affect her perfect son.
I also stammered but since I could not hear some sounds....
I have a phd so am not stupid, just forgetful. she now wants me to look after her as it is her right.
my last partner died. she says he left me well he is not here but left is not the right word.
she is still saying how much better he did at school, his subjects are better than mine. he took his a levels before me. well he is older. what she says is mainly sort of true but so scewed that it means something else.
the older one takes exams first just because they are older.
I am fighting 50 year old battles overand over and on her terms
nowonder I am demented.

the trouble is that at our age, so many of us were controlled, and still are. that the studies will mean nothing. where will you find a control group who can remember the past like us. well before it fades away.
o I was a mathmetician I can remember what I want to say about control groups and things but not put it down frustrating
this is such a cruel disease

My mother and step-dad fostered for years and even adopted one of the boys. She went for the ones no one wanted, and was successful with them. I am a high school drop out with a GED diploma. (Bad nerves from bad teachers experiences) I see all to well what you mean about control groups, etc. I am so sorry you have had and STILL having these experiences and this horrendous disease. You too have been robbed of yourself. Some days are so bad that I truly wish I couldn't remember the past at all and just lived in never-never land!

 

[Miss Merlot]

Hmmm. Alzheimers to me is the same as any other illness - a physical condition that affects all and sundry.

MIL led an utterly charmed and carefree life (no abuse etc) and still has it.

My mum never smoked, ate healthily, didn't drink excessively and got cancer at a very young age (now recovered).

Sometimes we look for a rhyme and reason for these things, but honestly I don't think there is one - other than the obvious physical correlation between unhealthy lifestyle and illness in some cases.

 

[Jessbow]

My mother had a wonderful upbringing, idyllic almost. Worshiped by her mum and dad, raised as an only child - her brother lived 7 hours, 2 years before she was born.

My father in turn was the kindest gentles husband a girl could wish for, he adored her, almost to the point of spoiling her, as had her father.

Dementia hit her hard, as it did her mother before her.

Abused? no way. Only 'abused' as in indulged perhaps.

 

[Sue J]

Any theory such as Jaffy put forward needs to also address the issues regarding those people as well. And abuse is not always physical in nature so to suggest that boxers fit in this category is pretty way off the mark. They suffer many blows to the head resulting in brain damage - the cause and effect is pretty obvious and can hardly be called abuse in the accepted sense of the word.

I wasn't suggesting that boxers fit into the same category of abuse in the accepted sense of the word, although can't get my head round why anyone would enjoy being hit around the head nor that abuse in childhood goes on to mean that someone will get dementia at all. More though that it is the brain that is affected so what/is there a link as Jaffy suggests. I agree co incidence doesn't prove causality but research begins by observation and co incidence of certain factors are relevant and shouldn't be overlooked.

 

[kingybell]

I'm not sure if there's a link although I did read some American research about this topic.
My mil had an abusive childhood both sexually and with violence. She is one of 6 and the only one to get dementia so far.
She is the oldest though.

 

[Jaffy]

I was "perfect" "wonderful" "brilliant" "beautiful"....need I go on? No one can live up to that! Also being truly spoiled = all is child abuse and the person has to learn to be an adult etc. I know several who are loonier than I who carry on important careers but who still live in a fantasy land that is so un-real that their home-life is CRAZY!!!!! These are my thoughts of life that have remained with me since adulthood and I am in my 70th year.

 

[Jaffy]

Thanks to all you have given me such support that research needs done, but who would tell the truth?! I also believe in FALSE memories! Oh, my, I'll be quiet now. We can all go back to our own lives that are better than the ones we read about. Thank you all.