I have been worried about my wife's memory and behavour/character for two to three years. I believe she is being treated for Alzheimers. She just says she is fine. Her pills and appointments tell me otherwise.
How should I deal with this?
Hello Poet and welcome to Talking Point.
it is very sad that your wife can't or won't share her knowledge with you. If she is in denial that anything is wrong then as far as she is concerned there is nothing to share, everything is fine.
The medication does point to Alzheimer's as the cause of her behaviour. All you really can do is support her, make sure non of her behaviour puts her at risk and you know as much as you can about getting help when and from where,when you need it.
You will find the forum invaluable for getting advice and support and understanding, just ask away we are here to help.
I have been worried about my wife's memory and behavour/character for two to three years. I believe she is being treated for Alzheimers. She just says she is fine. Her pills and appointments tell me otherwise.
How should I deal with this?
Good morning my husband got diagnosed 5 years ago but knows he has got mixed dementia ( Alzheimer's and vascular) and is quite open about it . There are many however who are not. Perhaps you could send an email to GP and Mental Health outlining your concerns? I don't know where you are but a call to an admiral nurse , if you have them , would be good . They are there to support you in your caring role and might also be able to gain access to the medical records. They offer great support and advice . My husband and I just take each day as they come and try and concentrate on the things he can still do, rather then the things he can't . There are still many good days to be had . Hope this helps a little x
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Hello Poet and welcome to Talking Point.
it is very sad that your wife can't or won't share her knowledge with you. If she is in denial that anything is wrong then as far as she is concerned there is nothing to share, everything is fine.
The medication does point to Alzheimer's as the cause of her behaviour. All you really can do is support her, make sure non of her behaviour puts her at risk and you know as much as you can about getting help when and from where,when you need it.
You will find the forum invaluable for getting advice and support and understanding, just ask away we are here to help.
I echo everything that jaymor has said. Welcome to TP, where you will find a wonderful of group of people who will become your friends, and support you through these difficult times.
There is always someone who has been through the same experiences you have had, and can offer help and advice.
Saw this thread earlier Poet and thought I'd just pop in and wish you well, even though you've come to the point where you're now looking for advice. As has already been said, just say whatever you need help with, and someone will be along to give you the info.
You really need to speak to someone from Alzheimer's Society, who can point you in the right direction for anything you're concerned about.
Do drop in here for a chat and a bit of support whenever you need it.
Thank you. A few years ago we both set up Enduring Power of Attorney with a lawyer. Yes her memory is not too bad. Patchy. She is defensive so she may hide a lot of her lapses. In the last feww weeks she has several times burnt the cooking. She has always been a good cooked. Her failures are quite new. I am worried about her driving. i don't know there is much I can do without a diagnosis. She will be very distressed to loose her licence. That alone could set her into denial.I sympathise with you. My husband has been diagnosed with mixed dementia but is in complete denial about it.
I think that's mainly because he can't remember there's anything wrong with him! He had a bowel cancer op last year and he can't remember anything about it at all.
You really need to be fully aware of what the problem is with your OH as you will need to plan and take control going forward. Does she remember to take her medication? It maybe that's she's in denial herself or has forgotten she even went to the doctors.
I'd have a word with the doctors if they will talk to you. Tell them your concerns and ask them what you need to do. You'll probably need Lasting Power of Attorney setting up and you can do it specifically so that you can deal with her medical problems.
Good luck with it all.
Hi
Just to say, Jaygun, that OH scored 28 on first test and 30 on several subsequent ones, but was still given donepezil at the beginning. He had Alzheimer's and vascular dementia. He accepted it early on and we even did a couple of talks on it, before reverting to 'your bad memory'.
As many have said, one day at a time. Also get wills and Lasting Power of Attorney sorted ASAP. If you both do them, no argument!
Good luck!
Admiral nurse? Sounds that they are specialist Alzheimers Nurses like the Macmillan Nurses for cancer. Where would I find an Admiral Nurse. My local hospital is quite large. They have Macmillan Nurses at our local hospital.
A chat would be so helpful. How do I get that please? There is a centre about ten miles away. Can one just drop in. I don't have even an unofficial diagnosis. Just my own assessment plus the Docepezil (my only hard evidence) I am particularly worried about one symptom. She started slurring the occasional word about 3 months ago and it is much more frequent now. Thank you for writing.
Hi
Just to say, Jaygun, that OH scored 28 on first test and 30 on several subsequent ones, but was still given donepezil at the beginning. He had Alzheimer's and vascular dementia. He accepted it early on and we even did a couple of talks on it, before reverting to 'your bad memory'.
As many have said, one day at a time. Also get wills and Lasting Power of Attorney sorted ASAP. If you both do them, no argument!
Good luck!
Ooh, that's interesting Spamar, thank you. I guess there must have been other diagnostic criteria at play there then? My MIL (84 now with Alzheimer's) scored around 22 in the first few tests but they said that was just Mild Cognitive Impairment and they weren't going to give her any medication.
The most frequent three words in MIL's vocabulary are "I can't remember" - but God help anybody who alludes to her having any memory problems at all in her hearing.