My husband and I have been caring for his mother for the last 6 or so years since she was diagnosed with vascular dementia.
MIL lives alone in her own home with support from us. We visit daily to assist with her medication, a meal, shopping, cleaning, showering, climate control and household organization.
She also goes to a day centre once a week and an exercise group another day.
For the first few years of caring we only needed to support with medication, finances and orientating her to the day of the week. In the last year we have had to disconnect the stove as she had a couple of small cooking fires. We have organised meals on wheels. She no longer sleeps in her bed and prefers to sleep on the couch. She is regularly confused about the time of day thinking that it is morning when it is evening and vice versa. She has shaky turns and is unsteady on her feet but this seems to correct itself if there is an authority figure present eg. The doctor. She wears unusual combinations of clothing and gets upset if we try to help her change her clothes before going out. She refuses to shower unless my husband insists and we need to run the water and assist her to remove clothing as she finds this difficult. She makes up all kinds of very plausible stories about what she has been doing that we know can't possibly be true.
We have requested an assessment to get some help for her. We would like her to have at least two carers visits a day. One in the morning to get her up, oriented and fed, and another in the early afternoon to turn on heating or cooling, give her a snack and some fluids. They said we have to wait at least two months for the assessment as she is not urgent. We can only visit her in the evening as we both work full-time and have young children.
This morning she called my husband's mobile phone and asked if her husband was at our house. He died 15 years ago. This is the first time she has done this. I am guessing that it is the beginning of another downward step.
I guess my question is how long can she continue to live alone like this? I feel so sorry for her but I don't know what else we can do.
She is in total denial of her condition and believes she doesn't need any help.
MIL lives alone in her own home with support from us. We visit daily to assist with her medication, a meal, shopping, cleaning, showering, climate control and household organization.
She also goes to a day centre once a week and an exercise group another day.
For the first few years of caring we only needed to support with medication, finances and orientating her to the day of the week. In the last year we have had to disconnect the stove as she had a couple of small cooking fires. We have organised meals on wheels. She no longer sleeps in her bed and prefers to sleep on the couch. She is regularly confused about the time of day thinking that it is morning when it is evening and vice versa. She has shaky turns and is unsteady on her feet but this seems to correct itself if there is an authority figure present eg. The doctor. She wears unusual combinations of clothing and gets upset if we try to help her change her clothes before going out. She refuses to shower unless my husband insists and we need to run the water and assist her to remove clothing as she finds this difficult. She makes up all kinds of very plausible stories about what she has been doing that we know can't possibly be true.
We have requested an assessment to get some help for her. We would like her to have at least two carers visits a day. One in the morning to get her up, oriented and fed, and another in the early afternoon to turn on heating or cooling, give her a snack and some fluids. They said we have to wait at least two months for the assessment as she is not urgent. We can only visit her in the evening as we both work full-time and have young children.
This morning she called my husband's mobile phone and asked if her husband was at our house. He died 15 years ago. This is the first time she has done this. I am guessing that it is the beginning of another downward step.
I guess my question is how long can she continue to live alone like this? I feel so sorry for her but I don't know what else we can do.
She is in total denial of her condition and believes she doesn't need any help.