I am looking for some advice please and from the outset I apologise for the length of this post.
My Mum (69) is I think (from observation and from reading forums like this) displaying early signs of dementia. Although she is NOT in a constant confused state and sometime is quite capable of having a lucid conversation we have noticed over the past few months she is “not herself”. My Dad obviously noticed things first and he has now been convinced to make an appointment for Mum, but, he doesn’t want to book an appointment for her under false pretences and wants to sit her down and discus with her first, however, none of the family know how she would react to such a conversation, possibly anger and denial and we are worried if this was the case she might refuse to go the Doctor.
The things that have led us to think she has early stages of dementia are:
• Conversation has almost dried up although she will answer questions put to her easily.
• Confusion with certain tasks (sometimes) e.g. she put the vegetables on to cook before the meat for a Sunday roast.
• An awkwardness in social situations, sort of inappropriate/ unusual behaviour is the best way to describe it.
• Occasional disorientation – e.g. walked out of the back door of her house and round to the front and thought she had locked herself out as she could not get in the front door.
• Always wants to clean things and do housework – slightly obsessive.
• Eating – I don’t know if this is unusual, but she has developed a huge appetite and can eat a cooked breakfast and then have a large mid-morning snack – unheard of, or, eat two puddings.
• Another strange one – always likes to have her handbag beside her – even in her own house, she takes it with her all the time.
• Vacant look and staring – when she has done something unusual and it is pointed to her she stares in a vacant way and never makes a comment or a response.
Having said all of this, I can still chat to her on the phone and can ask her questions, which 99% of the time gets right, she can drive(although more erratic than normal) and in many other ways she is very normal.
The questions I have at this stage are
a) Does the above look familiar to people reading this?
b) How should you react when she does something wrong/ or gets something wrong? Should you point out the error, “Mum, I said three cups of tea?” or, should we sort it without saying anything?
c) In the long periods of silence – should we try and encourage conversation or is that too much pressure and should we leave mum to say watch TV in silence.
d) Do we point unusual activity out – “Mum, why are you always carrying your handbag with you”, or, do we keep quiet?
e) Is there anything proactive we should be doing? I appreciate she has not yet been to see the Doctor yet but as getting an appointment is likely to take a few weeks anyway is there some things we should be adopting now?
Finally my parents live in the North East of Scotland (myself in the South East of England and my Sister in Spain) and a search on this website suggested that the support available was likely to be on-line support, therefore I will be very grateful for any responses.
Thank you
My Mum (69) is I think (from observation and from reading forums like this) displaying early signs of dementia. Although she is NOT in a constant confused state and sometime is quite capable of having a lucid conversation we have noticed over the past few months she is “not herself”. My Dad obviously noticed things first and he has now been convinced to make an appointment for Mum, but, he doesn’t want to book an appointment for her under false pretences and wants to sit her down and discus with her first, however, none of the family know how she would react to such a conversation, possibly anger and denial and we are worried if this was the case she might refuse to go the Doctor.
The things that have led us to think she has early stages of dementia are:
• Conversation has almost dried up although she will answer questions put to her easily.
• Confusion with certain tasks (sometimes) e.g. she put the vegetables on to cook before the meat for a Sunday roast.
• An awkwardness in social situations, sort of inappropriate/ unusual behaviour is the best way to describe it.
• Occasional disorientation – e.g. walked out of the back door of her house and round to the front and thought she had locked herself out as she could not get in the front door.
• Always wants to clean things and do housework – slightly obsessive.
• Eating – I don’t know if this is unusual, but she has developed a huge appetite and can eat a cooked breakfast and then have a large mid-morning snack – unheard of, or, eat two puddings.
• Another strange one – always likes to have her handbag beside her – even in her own house, she takes it with her all the time.
• Vacant look and staring – when she has done something unusual and it is pointed to her she stares in a vacant way and never makes a comment or a response.
Having said all of this, I can still chat to her on the phone and can ask her questions, which 99% of the time gets right, she can drive(although more erratic than normal) and in many other ways she is very normal.
The questions I have at this stage are
a) Does the above look familiar to people reading this?
b) How should you react when she does something wrong/ or gets something wrong? Should you point out the error, “Mum, I said three cups of tea?” or, should we sort it without saying anything?
c) In the long periods of silence – should we try and encourage conversation or is that too much pressure and should we leave mum to say watch TV in silence.
d) Do we point unusual activity out – “Mum, why are you always carrying your handbag with you”, or, do we keep quiet?
e) Is there anything proactive we should be doing? I appreciate she has not yet been to see the Doctor yet but as getting an appointment is likely to take a few weeks anyway is there some things we should be adopting now?
Finally my parents live in the North East of Scotland (myself in the South East of England and my Sister in Spain) and a search on this website suggested that the support available was likely to be on-line support, therefore I will be very grateful for any responses.
Thank you
