Hope you survive Ann - I would have absolutely lost it and then ran out the house screaming. Hopefully she'll be well enough for daycare on Thursday.
So bizarre !
- Thread starter Ann Mac
- Start date
Ann 
[slopes back to bed, exhausted after reading about Ann's day]
Hot one here. I've got the annoyance of having to think about what to pack for my holiday on Sunday
Always happens to us... We go away to catch a bit of sun, and it ends up almost hotter in England than where we go....
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[slopes back to bed, exhausted after reading about Ann's day]
Hot one here. I've got the annoyance of having to think about what to pack for my holiday on Sunday
Always happens to us... We go away to catch a bit of sun, and it ends up almost hotter in England than where we go....
Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
Hi AnnMac I have not been on your Thread or any other for a couple of days. My simple observation after yesterday is: should anyone have to put up with this? What's in it for you apart from exhaustion? It probably doesn't matter to your MIL who she is being unpleasant with. It's just what she wants to do at this moment in time!
A new world record here - up for 50 minutes - and asked to go to her room, already Just nasty little digs, which descended into some really unpleasant personal comments when I didn't react. She was coming downstairs, dressed but absolutely reeking of B.O. (not surprising in this weather!). She was Ok about getting washed and putting clean undies on, and even about having her hair washed. At breakfast, the comments started when the toast didn't arrive quickly enough to suit, with the she 'supposes' that I intended to starve her and when we got to the stage where she was saying she has always 'hated' me, I very politely told her that as she felt like that, it would be best if we stayed apart today and that she must go upstairs to her room. I took her a drink up and made sure the TV is on, and she is currently calling through her bedroom window for help (thankfully, not loudly, I can just about hear what she is saying if I stand directly under it) .
All I know about yesterday, GL, is that as soon as she needed help to get clean, she got it; that not once did I miss making sure that her hands were regularly washed, that if she needed a drink she didn't have to wait and that I had the time to make sure that everything that was needed was dealt with as and when the need occured. I've worked in care homes - simply because of how busy staff are, I haven't come across anywhere where that level of care is possible. So she gained from being here, in terms of physical care and attention. However, I do accept that I might not be able to cope with that long term - though the point when I am not coping isn't here, quite yet
Just nasty little digs, which descended into some really unpleasant personal comments when I didn't react. She was coming downstairs, dressed but absolutely reeking of B.O. (not surprising in this weather!). She was Ok about getting washed and putting clean undies on, and even about having her hair washed. At breakfast, the comments started when the toast didn't arrive quickly enough to suit, with the she 'supposes' that I intended to starve her and when we got to the stage where she was saying she has always 'hated' me, I very politely told her that as she felt like that, it would be best if we stayed apart today and that she must go upstairs to her room. I took her a drink up and made sure the TV is on, and she is currently calling through her bedroom window for help (thankfully, not loudly, I can just about hear what she is saying if I stand directly under it) .All I know about yesterday, GL, is that as soon as she needed help to get clean, she got it; that not once did I miss making sure that her hands were regularly washed, that if she needed a drink she didn't have to wait and that I had the time to make sure that everything that was needed was dealt with as and when the need occured. I've worked in care homes - simply because of how busy staff are, I haven't come across anywhere where that level of care is possible. So she gained from being here, in terms of physical care and attention. However, I do accept that I might not be able to cope with that long term - though the point when I am not coping isn't here, quite yet
Give that lady a medal! Ann, I really dont know how you do it! But I admire from afar! I've done lots of things for OH that I never thought I'd be able to cope with, but nowhere near what you have to do!
Thinking of you.
I've managed to get another bad tummy, I gave no idea why, unless it was Mondays salad when I was out with friends. Anyway, better not to go and see OH, they're not keen on visitors who aren't well ( quite rightly). Fortunately, for the first day since well before Launde, nothing on the calendar, so I can waste my time! My tummy does seem to be a little off recently. I would have said it would cope with anything, but not these days!
Well, sunny and hot, I'm staying indoor as much as possible!
Have a good day!
Thinking of you.
I've managed to get another bad tummy, I gave no idea why, unless it was Mondays salad when I was out with friends. Anyway, better not to go and see OH, they're not keen on visitors who aren't well ( quite rightly). Fortunately, for the first day since well before Launde, nothing on the calendar, so I can waste my time! My tummy does seem to be a little off recently. I would have said it would cope with anything, but not these days!
Well, sunny and hot, I'm staying indoor as much as possible!
Have a good day!
Yes, Ann, she is getting great care. But I think what we are seeing is that you are not having any sort of time without being berated and cleaning up mess. Remember that the decision about a CH has often more to do with the stress of the caregivers' life at home than the state of the loved one. I hope you are as at peace as you say. I think I would be full to the brim with resentment and want to just have peace with my husband, children and puppy.
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Above and beyond the call of duty.....ann, you are a saint, the way you never forget the woman your MIL used to be. Not many of us can manage to do that. And you don't seem to see any glimpses of the former MIL.
Just sending a great big hug...Good job it's a cyber hug in this heat. You'd probably prefer someone waving one of those big feather fans.
Just sending a great big hug...Good job it's a cyber hug in this heat. You'd probably prefer someone waving one of those big feather fans.
Oh Ann! Like 2jays I am exhausted just reading it all - diarrohea is the worst isn't it, the mess, the smell, and the toll it takes on our LO, dehydration and hungry but tummy too delicate for food, horrible all round.
I too award you a medal Ann, you make the Duracell bunny look lazy!
Glad your daughter recovered well and pretty quickly, bet she was glad to get back to school.
Really hope Mil is well enough to go back to day care tomorrow or Thursday and you can lie in a darkened room and recover!
I too award you a medal Ann, you make the Duracell bunny look lazy!
Glad your daughter recovered well and pretty quickly, bet she was glad to get back to school.
Really hope Mil is well enough to go back to day care tomorrow or Thursday and you can lie in a darkened room and recover!
Oh Ann you must be absolutely exhausted! I really do feel for you. You are so long - suffering. I don't know how you manage to keep going. It is such a pity that your Mil has no idea how well she is being looked after,
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Sent from my Nexus 7 using Talking Point mobile app
Mils delusions/confabulations are getting more and more extreme - though Thank god, she isn't finding them upsetting and they are not stressing her out at all. But the sheer 'strangeness' and the absolute lack of logic behind them is breathtaking.
Just yesterday, we had her asking when her next exercise session was - you know, the one where she and the dog go to the gym!
We had her frantically looking for the 'Christmas Mobile phone' she had bought - she showed it to me, she said - the red one, that she is allowed to use to phone her brother at Christmas.
Last night she leapt out of her seat to go and 'clean that room'. What room? The one upstairs, where we play ten pin bowling, apparently - oldest daughter caught that one - I walked in to find Mil demanding that daughter accompany her up the stairs so she could SHOW her the bowling alley, and Mil then insisted that I went too. She went in every bed room, bathroom too - even opened the landing cupboard - but wasn't that worried when it couldn't be found.
This morning, she is worried about getting to her job at the theatre on time - the theatre where she wears the blue dress on the stage and there are horses
Because she isn't upset, then it doesn't worry or upset me, and its not stressful to deal with - but I am seriously puzzled by where on earth these odd ideas come from!
My mom used to come in and look me straight in the face and ask where I was. Or, get mad at the television because of commercials and couldn't understand why they were there. Ha ha, looking back it was bizarre.
Morning everyone,
Spamar, hope your tummy is feeling better now, hun. I like the heat, I admit, but if you are feeling under the weather I think it can make you feel worse x
Honest, I'm no saint or martyr, everyone, just doing what I feel is right and what I feel I can cope with - for now. No, I can't see much of the Mil I knew and loved for years, but she is still in there, somewhere. Daughter is fine now - she spent a lot of Monday and Tuesday sleeping - she tends to 'hibernate' as I call it, when she is feeling unwell - and it was clear by Tuesday night she was back to her old self.
Not as bad a day yesterday, thankfully, with Mil - she seemed fully recovered from the lurgy, and as far as I could tell she had absolutely no recollection of having had a tummy upset in the first place. She was still quite 'iffy' as regards behaviour, though - it was like having a stroppy toddler around for a lot of the day After I sent her back to her room first thing, she slept for about 2 hours and came back down thinking she was only getting up for the first time. At first, she seemed quite chilled (for her) and as it was now after 12, I made her a sandwich lunch, which she practically inhaled (after commenting that it was a 'funny sort of breakfast to be having'!). She was jabbering away, jumping from one confabulation to another, but initially, none upset her so I just nodded and said 'really' and 'fancy that' a lot. But then it went to her saying, after she had asked the time, that she had better go and change into her 'good black trousers' ready for us going out. Quite casually, I told her not to worry - we weren't going anywhere, she could just relax. Wrong answer - straight into a strop because I'd 'promised her' I was taking her to a show, she was looking forward to it, it was just like me to change my mind and spoil her fun. No messing, I told her that she was mistaken about the the date and that if she was going to be rude, she could go and lie down in her room and calm down. Up she went, chunnering all the way and as she passed the small unit by the living room door, she spotted a hair brush dau had left lying round, picked it up and chucked it at the floor - honestly, I nearly laughed, it was such a 'toddler like' action! Until OH came home, just after 4, she was up and down the stairs, veering between seeming OK and then into having a mini tantrum over some confabulated issue or other. Each time, if she started to get rude, I got firm and told her either stop or go to her room - she headed to her room every time, but back down within maybe 15 minutes, having totally forgotten whatever had annoyed her previously and OK - till the next delusion/confabulation hit. A lot of them seemed to revolve around her having to find her 'black trousers' because she was sure we were about to 'go out' somewhere, and she veered between relief that we weren't going out at all, and annoyance because I wasn't taking her shopping, to the pictures, to visit that woman or to pick up the dress for the dance, afterall. She complained non-stop about the heat, which despite her usually loving the hot weather, she struggled with yesterday and which I think had a lot to do with the general stroppiness.
OH and dau arrived home and OH wanted to go and pick up the bits he needed to fit the new lock in the bathroom - daughter also decided that yep, it was time she abandoned the usual attire of jeans and leggings but discovered that not one pair of her shorts still fitted her. Her school shoes were also 'pinching' she said. So, as Mil had been angling to 'go out' for a lot of the day, we headed out to firstly a big DIY store - I stayed with Mil in the car while OH nipped in - and then, stopping to stock up on more soft drinks on the way - to a sports shop where I got 3 pairs of shorts for dau, managed to find suitable school shoes and picked up a pair of converse style casual shoes for her too. Those darn black trousers came back to haunt us as Mil spent the whole time moaning that she should have put them on before we went out Back home, Mil was Ok-ish, apart from complaining about OH fitting the new lock, as it meant she had to wait to get into the bathroom a few times, but after tea she switched to misery and woe is me mode and it was whine and whinge, 'whats to become of me' and sat delivering monologues about how its all right for us, we're not worrying about where our Mum is, or how our parents are going to find us, she supposes we'll be going to the pictures without her, and we don't have to worry about being in trouble in work because we can't find the box that the boss said she was to bring in. Eventually, it veered into her getting quite rude and making quite nasty remarks, and as it was now after 8pm, bed was suggested - at first she said no, so dau decided to go grab a quick bath - at which point Mil decided she did want to go to bed afterall and got increasingly cross because dau was in the bathroom and she would have to wait. Finally she was able to go, but about 10 minutes after she was sorted with pull ups and so on, could hear a knocking from upstairs - she was stuck in the bathroom! The new lock is part of the door handle, and obviously different from the 'bolt' style lock that was previously fitted at eye level on the door - and having gone in there and locked the door, she now 'couldn't find' the new lock to open it Good job we could get it open from outside
Back to day care today (can you hear me cheering? ) , and hopefully, as it feels a bit cooler today, we might see a less wound up Mil tonight - can always dream, can't we?
Have a good day everyone xxx
Spamar, hope your tummy is feeling better now, hun. I like the heat, I admit, but if you are feeling under the weather I think it can make you feel worse x
Honest, I'm no saint or martyr, everyone, just doing what I feel is right and what I feel I can cope with - for now. No, I can't see much of the Mil I knew and loved for years, but she is still in there, somewhere. Daughter is fine now - she spent a lot of Monday and Tuesday sleeping - she tends to 'hibernate' as I call it, when she is feeling unwell - and it was clear by Tuesday night she was back to her old self.
Not as bad a day yesterday, thankfully, with Mil - she seemed fully recovered from the lurgy, and as far as I could tell she had absolutely no recollection of having had a tummy upset in the first place. She was still quite 'iffy' as regards behaviour, though - it was like having a stroppy toddler around for a lot of the day
After I sent her back to her room first thing, she slept for about 2 hours and came back down thinking she was only getting up for the first time. At first, she seemed quite chilled (for her) and as it was now after 12, I made her a sandwich lunch, which she practically inhaled (after commenting that it was a 'funny sort of breakfast to be having'!). She was jabbering away, jumping from one confabulation to another, but initially, none upset her so I just nodded and said 'really' and 'fancy that' a lot. But then it went to her saying, after she had asked the time, that she had better go and change into her 'good black trousers' ready for us going out. Quite casually, I told her not to worry - we weren't going anywhere, she could just relax. Wrong answer - straight into a strop because I'd 'promised her' I was taking her to a show, she was looking forward to it, it was just like me to change my mind and spoil her fun. No messing, I told her that she was mistaken about the the date and that if she was going to be rude, she could go and lie down in her room and calm down. Up she went, chunnering all the way and as she passed the small unit by the living room door, she spotted a hair brush dau had left lying round, picked it up and chucked it at the floor - honestly, I nearly laughed, it was such a 'toddler like' action! Until OH came home, just after 4, she was up and down the stairs, veering between seeming OK and then into having a mini tantrum over some confabulated issue or other. Each time, if she started to get rude, I got firm and told her either stop or go to her room - she headed to her room every time, but back down within maybe 15 minutes, having totally forgotten whatever had annoyed her previously and OK - till the next delusion/confabulation hit. A lot of them seemed to revolve around her having to find her 'black trousers' because she was sure we were about to 'go out' somewhere, and she veered between relief that we weren't going out at all, and annoyance because I wasn't taking her shopping, to the pictures, to visit that woman or to pick up the dress for the dance, afterall. She complained non-stop about the heat, which despite her usually loving the hot weather, she struggled with yesterday and which I think had a lot to do with the general stroppiness.OH and dau arrived home and OH wanted to go and pick up the bits he needed to fit the new lock in the bathroom - daughter also decided that yep, it was time she abandoned the usual attire of jeans and leggings but discovered that not one pair of her shorts still fitted her. Her school shoes were also 'pinching' she said. So, as Mil had been angling to 'go out' for a lot of the day, we headed out to firstly a big DIY store - I stayed with Mil in the car while OH nipped in - and then, stopping to stock up on more soft drinks on the way - to a sports shop where I got 3 pairs of shorts for dau, managed to find suitable school shoes and picked up a pair of converse style casual shoes for her too. Those darn black trousers came back to haunt us as Mil spent the whole time moaning that she should have put them on before we went out
Back home, Mil was Ok-ish, apart from complaining about OH fitting the new lock, as it meant she had to wait to get into the bathroom a few times, but after tea she switched to misery and woe is me mode and it was whine and whinge, 'whats to become of me' and sat delivering monologues about how its all right for us, we're not worrying about where our Mum is, or how our parents are going to find us, she supposes we'll be going to the pictures without her, and we don't have to worry about being in trouble in work because we can't find the box that the boss said she was to bring in. Eventually, it veered into her getting quite rude and making quite nasty remarks, and as it was now after 8pm, bed was suggested - at first she said no, so dau decided to go grab a quick bath - at which point Mil decided she did want to go to bed afterall and got increasingly cross because dau was in the bathroom and she would have to wait. Finally she was able to go, but about 10 minutes after she was sorted with pull ups and so on, could hear a knocking from upstairs - she was stuck in the bathroom! The new lock is part of the door handle, and obviously different from the 'bolt' style lock that was previously fitted at eye level on the door - and having gone in there and locked the door, she now 'couldn't find' the new lock to open it Good job we could get it open from outside Back to day care today (can you hear me cheering?
) , and hopefully, as it feels a bit cooler today, we might see a less wound up Mil tonight - can always dream, can't we? Have a good day everyone xxx
Also having a 14 year old dau - this made me laugh - I so know that feeling. However you seemed to have solved it far more quickly than I manage - with a far less fussy daughter.
MIL sounds like she wasn't as bad as some weekends yesterday, which given her illness is a positive. Hooray for daycare.
she switched to misery and woe is me mode and it was whine and whinge, 'whats to become of me' and sat delivering monologues about how its all right for us, we're not worrying about where our Mum is, or how our parents are going to find us,
That brings back memories. I used to get loads of verbal attacks involving stopping her seeing her parents (dead 30 years or more)
I honestly have no idea how you cope. To live with the constant verbal onslaught is a nightmare.
That brings back memories. I used to get loads of verbal attacks involving stopping her seeing her parents (dead 30 years or more)
I honestly have no idea how you cope. To live with the constant verbal onslaught is a nightmare.
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Lol JM - dau's only stipulation's for clothes are not pink, not frilly, not a dress and if its possible to find anything with panda's or dinosaurs on them (something to do with the current 'in-jokes' at her theatre group) then that's fine!
Yep, it could have been a lot worse yesterday - I was certainly expecting it! This morning is horrible though Non-stop drone of complaints and quite cutting remarks - the favourite today is asking me something, then when I reply, a sarky 'You know everything, don't you Ann?'. When I pull her for being rude, she insists that she was 'only joking'. Mini bus still not turned up, though I phoned day care and they insist its on its way and so at the mininute its a combination of fretting about that and about the still missing handbag Of course, she hasn't lost the handbag, its been stolen and I think every person who she encounters on regualr basis has so far been accused of being the thief at some point over the last 21/2 hours!
Thankfully, I've been spared any reference to her parents - so far - this morning
Yep, it could have been a lot worse yesterday - I was certainly expecting it! This morning is horrible though
Non-stop drone of complaints and quite cutting remarks - the favourite today is asking me something, then when I reply, a sarky 'You know everything, don't you Ann?'. When I pull her for being rude, she insists that she was 'only joking'. Mini bus still not turned up, though I phoned day care and they insist its on its way and so at the mininute its a combination of fretting about that and about the still missing handbag Of course, she hasn't lost the handbag, its been stolen and I think every person who she encounters on regualr basis has so far been accused of being the thief at some point over the last 21/2 hours!Thankfully, I've been spared any reference to her parents - so far - this morning
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Belated hi to all!
Spent yesterday doing absolutely nothing but nursing tummy! And not eating much! Then, the night was so hot, I got up around 03:00 for a drink. Birds stated a deafening noise at 03:34 precisely! However, managed to the get sleep until 07:00, the longest I have slept in for a while.
Today, chat with neighbour, shopping, quick lunch, keep fit chair exercises!
Tomorrow must go and see OH and see what mood he's in!
Ann, hope you have a better evening!
Cheers all.
Spent yesterday doing absolutely nothing but nursing tummy! And not eating much! Then, the night was so hot, I got up around 03:00 for a drink. Birds stated a deafening noise at 03:34 precisely! However, managed to the get sleep until 07:00, the longest I have slept in for a while.
Today, chat with neighbour, shopping, quick lunch, keep fit chair exercises!
Tomorrow must go and see OH and see what mood he's in!
Ann, hope you have a better evening!
Cheers all.
